Mediocrity

School is out here and as I was driving to the store I passed the elementary school and today was 5th grade graduation.

Why are there so many *graduations* I mean high school and college is all there used to be. Now we have Kindergarten graduation for crying out loud, WTF?

They are just continuing to dumb down the kids, level the field, everyone has to be the same.

Two years ago we participated in the soccer league here, it's completely different than what we were accustomed to in PA. Anyway every kid gets a trophy at the end of the season, even if they didn't show up half the time.
What is the purpose of that?

In the past my boys earned trophies and medals and now they just give them to everyone. It's like nobody is recognized for their talents but everyone is rewarded for nothing.

It's like Bob Parr says in The Incredibles:

"They keep creating new ways to celebrate mediocrity."

Another one:

Helen Parr : "Everyone's special, Dash."

Dash: "Which is another way of saying no one is."

The Dumbing Down of America continues...

Discrimination

http://www.subwayfreshbuzz.com/kids/contest.aspx


At the bottom of the page you will see this paragraph"Contest is open only to legal US residents, over the age of 18 with children in either elementary, private or parochial schools that serve grades PreK-6. No home schools will be accepted."

Sweet

Last week Jared was busily working on something that he didn't want me to see and he didn't want any help. He messed up several times and was quite upset, he kept going into the bathroom with paper and scissors. He apparently got it right because on my birthday he called to me and proceeded to pull something out from under my bed. Considering that I felt horrible on my birthday this brought tears to my eyes because I know how hard he worked on cutting it out.


Here are my boys on Mother's Day, it was unseasonably cold, Cassie didn't want her picture taken.

This is Brenny and Jared with Boomer and Petie.

Dizzy

While I'm getting over that nasty virus now my allergies are full blown and I'm so dizzy.

I don't know how much writing I'll be doing, I want to reply to some emails and blog but I don't know what I'll do.

Thanks to all who sent prayers, well wishes and virtual goodies!

nice thought

There is a friendly older gentleman that works in the organic department at Kroger, he always greets us nicely.

Today he asked if if school was almost out, I told him that we homeschooled, he said oh that's right...

*So you get to go out and about whenever you want then*

Yep that pretty much sums it up.

Unconscious Mutterings

This is last weeks, apparently I was too unconscious to think...

1. Concentration :: Cards



2. Relocated :: Witness Protection Program



3. Clot :: Blood



4. Joints :: Smoke em if you got em



5. Satellite :: Dish



6. Money back :: Guarantee



7. Kittens :: meow



8. Shady :: venture



9. Drain :: sink



10. Stroke :: heat

Luna Nina

CSI

Any CSI fans?

I was blown away by the ending...no pun intended.

Although I was always suspicious of the undersheriff.

May 15th Deadline

One more day to sign up for the Revolution Money Exchange promotion.

Just click on the icon at the top right corner of the page and it will take you to the website.

I'm all for competition and this is another company like Paypal.

It is real, I got my $25 and I just received $10 for one referral. Thank you to whoever took the plunge and signed up.

amusing?

The mere fact that I'm living isn't proof that I was born.

She says as she finds her birth certificate to get her driver's license.

No worries mate

Hakuna Matata!
What a wonderful phrase
Hakuna Matata!
Ain't no passing craze
It means no worries for the rest of your days
It's our problem-free philosophy
Hakuna Matata!


Jared was watching Timon and Pumba and I realized that I really need to embrace this attitude.

I'm sick of expecting things that don't come to fruition.
I'm sick of stress.
I'm sick of worrying.

Actually I'm sick...

Caught something and had a rough day.

So new attitude, one of hope and positive thinking...

Well I can try, again!

It sucks to be such a realist, I just need to deal without worry or expectation.

It is what it is and I have to accept it and move on.

Today's word

I get the word of the day, surprised? My husband gets a kick out of it because I always use *big* words and my kids speak that way too.

So here is today's word:


Merriam-Webster’sWord of the Day
May 12

iconoclast

\eye-KAH-nuh-klast\
noun


Meaning
1 : a person who destroys religious images or opposes their veneration

*2 : a person who attacks settled beliefs or institutions


OOOHHHLALA I may just be an iconoclast!!!

Break down those walls!

Get out of that box!

LIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Life is great, unschooling is awesome, let's all be who we are and enjoy the journey.

Live, laugh, love, learn and always Rock on!!!

Everyday is Mother's Day

It is for me anyway...

I know that everyday I am blessed because I am a mother, because I have children.

If you would have told me 17 years ago that I would have 4 kids I would've asked you what kind of drugs you were taking.

I spent most of my young life taking care of other people's kids and two of those were my siblings. I was already a *mother* and needed a break. I also was very career oriented and I didn't think a family would fit in.

I wanted my Hotel and I had my goals and expectations and plans set, there wasn't going to be kids. I knew that one career was it I could not give my all to both.

I also had endometriosis and didn't think I could have babies. I begged for a hysterectomy but they don't routinely do that to 19 yr olds.

So after I went to college awhile I changed my mind and I had to have a baby.
No easy task but what in my life has been easy????

So after drug induced menopause twice and fertility drugs I have four beautiful babies.

I am blessed and anyone who has a child is blessed, children are awesome.

Embrace the journey, embrace those children, they grow up way too fast.

Motherhood rocks!

Parenting Peacefully

If you want to live peacefully make the most peaceful choices.

Peace is all about choices.

Choose to breathe consciously.
Choose understanding over ignorance.
Choose to make choices.
Choose awareness over oblivion.
Make choices based on the principles you live by.

~Sandra Dodd

Unconscious Mutterings

1. Track :: race


2. Snake :: slimy, slithering, hissing, striking, poison, gives me the willies


3. Assignment :: on assignment, like a job


4. Blockbuster :: video


5. Bombastic :: wow that's awesome


6. Adventure :: our life


7. First time :: sex
8. Aged :: cheese


9. Grip :: Get a grip


10. Shortcut :: backroads

Want to play? get your words at Luna Nina

Growing Ups

You know how we call adults *grown ups*

Jared calls them *growing ups*

I think he is very perceptive.

I don't think that one day you are just a grown up, I mean we are always learning and growing. I believe if you stop growing you stop living even if you are alive.

Here's to all of the growing ups reading this :)

Reali-T check

What is real?

What really matters?

Life is short and childhood is even shorter.

The kids are great, unschooling rocks, they learn like they breathe, it's so natural. If you haven't experienced this then you have no idea what I'm talking about.

Kids who have never been schooled just learn by doing, they learn by living.

It's their mother who has issues...

Really I'm fine, I'm good, I'm starting another hormonal episode... When flo doesn't show you just move on, I moved on I was fine...until... I lost it, I cried I broke down and cried last night. It's not really in my character, you know the one I play on TV.

I'm Miss strong, Miss reality, I'm such a realist, it is what it is so get over it already. Seriously I am like that so don't expect a whole lot of sympathy from me. Nobody gives me any either, actually some of this is personality but it also stems from my past when nobody gave a shit.

So Miss hot flash, mood swing, what is wrong with my body, what are you gonna do about it???

Who knows, I've got too many thoughts, too many causes, too many soapboxes, too much email, too many blogs, too many lists...

I also have absolutely no point to this post, what do you want I think I'm pre- menstrual again but who the hell knows?

I'll just keep learning from my kids, playing with my kids and living each day the best I can.

What has she been thinking about?

In case anyone wonders why I've been quiet it's because my mind is thinking and contemplating and I'm having a hard time writing it down.

Some of these thoughts are old ones resurfaced, some are new, some are raw, but I have to feel what I feel in order to figure stuff out.

A few things on my mind lately are homeschooling, unschooling, secular, Christian, what's the difference, spanking(NOT) but why do people do that, what would Jesus really do, my faith, my beliefs, my principles, this country, politics and of course the damaging effects of public school.

I'm not sure what I'll touch on in this post I guess I'll go where my mind takes me. I'll probably go take a bath and come back and finish this.

A few days ago I was really thinking about unschooling as secular or Christian because many people will use that distinction, so I was thinking about what the REAL difference is. In my mind I believe that Christians base their life on faith, well so do I, but I am not a Christian unschooler and I don't homeschool for religious reasons. I just happen to be a Christian and an unschooler it's how I live, it's not even a defined thing except online. Some people call it *secular unschooling* and *Christian unschooling* I just don't do that, unschooling is unschooling, many different people with many different beliefs unschool.

There are many more faiths and religions out there that unschool so secular or Christian doesn't begin to define it.

I'm not trying to define anything I really don't like many labels, some serve a purpose especially when we are looking for people who think like we do or at least have an idea of where we are coming from. The only problem with that is stereotypes, I hate stereotypes but when you meet people who make them true it can be frustrating. It can make you not want to associate yourself with a certain label or group because of what others believe about them whether it's true or not.

I run a yahoo group of unschooling Christians, so I know they are out there.
When I talk to people who aren't Christian and hear some experiences they have had with Christians it makes me want to scream. Spanking and control are big issues, I do not believe in spanking. As a matter of fact I firmly believe that hitting is wrong and unacceptable and nobody has the right to hit someone else.

Children are smacked everyday and some are guised under Christian parental authority, that makes me ill, it makes me not want to be lumped in with those people. I may be losing some readers here but it's how I feel it's how I have always felt.

If an adult hits an adult they can press charges but if a child is hit they have to take it...

I wasn't spanked as a child but I was beat up as a teen and mentally , emotionally and verbally abused.

I am a believer in God and Jesus, I love the Lord I pray daily I have faith and I will just live on that faith. I will not live by religious indoctrination and I will not take any man's interpretation of the Bible as gospel. God knows my heart and he loves me because he created me. I am free to be ME, Christ has set me free.

My kids are free, we live and learn without rules and punishment but with respect and faith.

Profound

This is from the Always Unschooled yahoo group.

Radical unschooling is Not about Raising kids. Its about living with our children Right Now. Our children are not unfinished products, future activists or stooges to The Man, our kids are Who They Are right now.

That's where unschooling happens.

If you are thinking in terms of Raising your children you aren't looking at the human beings living in your home, you are looking at future adults - and those are pure imagination on your part.

Is it possible to live with our kids Right Now *and* hold the whole world in our minds at the same time?

Yes. Its challenging, but its possible.

~Meredith

Six words

1. Write the title to your own memoir using 6 words.
2. Post it on your blog.
3. Link to the person that tagged you.
4. Tag five more blogs.

Jewls tagged me and the idea is to come up with 6 words that describe you right now.

It's hard to come up with just one, I have had a few good ones and some I can't post :)


Free to be who I am

I'll give you one more:

Living in a freakin hormonal whirlwind

Share six words that describe you.

Penny
Heather
Jenny
April
Deanne

Any else want to participate I won't tag all of you :)

Unconscious Mutterings

1. State :: of being


2. Lively :: happy


3. Valet :: parking


4. Traction :: tires


5. Official :: investigation


6. Red hot :: chili peppers (the band)


7. Powder :: baby


8. Replies :: email


9. Flagrant :: abuse of power


10. Tweet :: rockin Robin

Want to play? Get your words Luna Nina

Kids talking

Tonight Cassie told me that the girls down the street don't want her to tell me stuff.

They are 7 years old and already keep secrets from their parents.

I am so thankful that Cass talks to me, she tells me things, asks me things whatever it is she knows it's alright to talk to me.

I am trying so hard to build the foundation so when she is a teen we will already have the communication open.

I just hugged her and thanked her for telling me. She knows I'm not like her friends parents, this way of parenting is so worth the effort.

Can we just stay home?

We got home tonight and Jared said, "let's just not go anywhere again except the store and our friends' house."

Is it just us or do others feel cranky, tired and out of sorts when they are gone all day?

We went to girl scouts today, my first time driving there, yes it's freeway and stuff, it's not close.

It wasn't the driving, it was me, I felt all swirly inside and just plain off.

Cassie wanted to go because she hasn't gone in a few months and the siblings can go and play too. So my boys played with some other kids during the meeting.

My dear friend offered to have me follow her to her house which was close and then go home from there. That worked out well because I didn't want to drive in 5:00 pm traffic and there were a few accidents right near where I would have to go.

We hung out for a little bit talking about our hormones, it's not just me :)
It sure is great to have someone to talk to, she is awesome and our kids are good friends.

I felt really anxious today, all day, still do, I think this increased anxiety is hormone related too.

I'm back on my remedy and looking into starting something else next month.

I don't want to feel like this!!!

We are staying home tomorrow.

Nucking Futs!

Can everything be blamed on hormones?????

Unconscious Mutterings

1. Thug :: Stupid Criminals, you know the big dumb guys that do the dirty work.


2. Slurp :: With a straw


3. Alley :: Kirstie


4. Sweater vest :: Dork


5. Targeted :: USA


6. Snazzy :: slick, cool, rockin


7. Oy! :: McSquizzy's tree (Open Season)


8. Jury duty :: no thanks


9. Low fat :: milk


10. Responsibility :: Me

Want to play? Luna Nina

Noticeable changes after kids go to school

Do any of you notice how kids change after they go to school?

I'm really seeing it lately in a neighbor friend. We moved here 2 years ago so I can see the difference. The behavior, the things they say, the things they say their teacher says.

It's just really annoying and disturbing. My daughter is getting annoyed with her and not wanting to play. It's so sad and so real and it's so damaging to little minds.

I have to referree more and more to make sure the lines of communication stay open between them. I feel like I am always talking about respect and kindness to other kids, it's like they don't get it. I know they don't get it...

*slaps herself upside the head*

School is no place for children, I can't say that enough.

What a Day

It started with Jared losing his first tooth, that was cool.

We were invited to a birthday party far far away...

I guess it's time to mention my fear/anxiety/dizziness with freeway driving and not knowing where I'm going.

I have many issues and this isn't one I can control but I am under advisement about it. Honestly it could have been so much worse, it has been worse, all in all I did OK.

Although I didn't sleep well and I had knots in my gut, I decided that I needed to do this for Cassie and probably for myself.

Kieran was supposed to be my wingman and give me directions as needed, he did ok but messed up a couple times.

On the freeway wasn't too bad except for when we went on a split and a big rig was coming over in my lane, that scared me.

I actually had some anxiety once we got off the freeway, and we still had miles to go and turns to make. I absolutely hate not knowing where I'm going. I'm like that with everything though, I want to know where, when, how and why before I do it, I know it's impossible, but hey I'm not easy.

It was afternoon and we were stuck in school slow down, you know 15 mph, well we were actually stopped and I was checking the map for our next street and the traffic moved but I wasn't paying attention. I realized it and hit the gas hard and then got whistled at from the crossing guard to slow down, I threw up my hands and said I'm sorry I don't know where I am.

I was highly flustered at this point and we missed a turn and went a little way before I turned around. Got my bearings and headed back to the turn and while looking for the right road went through a red light, well almost, I realized it was red halfway through and slammed on the brakes thus locking them up and skidding the brand new tires in the middle of the intersection. Thank God at this exact moment the light turned green so I kept going on my merry way.

At this point I was uttering profanities and saying that's it I'm never leaving the house again, it's just NOT worth it. I can be perfectly happy at home and never get on the freeway again or go anywere I've never been.
I know it sounds insane but you aren't ME and don't know how stressful this was/is.

We got there safely after 45 minutes of driving and we all had a very nice time. I had never met this family...why you ask? Cassie knew them from girl scouts,my friend took her when we didn't have a 2nd car. Now she wants to go back to girl scouts and now I have wheels so guess who is venturing out again next week...

My dear friend tells me it will get easier as I keep doing it, bwhaaa, what if I don't want to! I could so easily stay in my comfort zone, getting out of it is painful, but I did it and I will keep doing it.

Jason came over after work mainly because I had no idea how to get home.
It was good because we all got along and made new friends, we didn't leave until almost 8pm. Jason knew a different way out of there and it cut out 20 minutes so it took us about 25 minutes to get home.

I just want to point out that I do not have a fear of driving, I do it almost everyday but just close to home. I do not have a fear of driving fast, I actually quite like it, we drove 80 mph most of the way home, I dig that.

My issues stem from years of chronic stuff based on a car accident when I was 18. It is situation and circumstance and fear of the unknown, and physical things that make daytime traffic driving difficult.

So I faced my fears and it turned out fine.

One more thing when Jared comes in and says, "mom, Cassie got the whole kitchen wet" he isn't kidding...

For my 17 year old cyber mate

First off girlfriend you do not make life altering decisions while you are hormonal. From one PMS'er to another, it is hard enough trying to decide what to wear or eat, nothing looks good or feels right, nothing sounds good or tastes right, nothing is RIGHT right now.

You are not a senior in highschool full of stress about exams and college and moving out. You are an unschooler who happens to go to a co-op and is surrounded by schoolish people. Do not buy into the hype, you do not have to figure everything out right now before you turn 18.

I realize we are kindred spirits, you were born free and grown up and want to just live your life. Trust me I get it more than you could know.
You do not need college and you do not have to leave the nest if you aren't ready.

Take some time and really figure out what you want to do with your life, what direction are you heading? College may or may not be the answer...

I went to school, I took those tests, I went to college...BFD!
What a waste of precious time.
Unless you know what you want and how to get it, step back and evaluate.

I highly recommend that you read The Teenage Liberation Handbook and read Gatto's letter to his 17 yr old granddaughter. I'll send it to you it's to long to post here.

You have a job, keep working, save your money, buy a car...

Your parents want you to be happy and to find out what you love, what is your passion?

The ball is in your court you decide what move to make. Don't blame others it's your life, you decide which way to go. Your parents will help, I will help, call me or email me if you want...

I remember 17 like it was yesterday, I was totally career oriented and gung ho to get what I wanted...

Things change, life happens, live it now.

Texas snake

I love google, we just type in our query and the answer comes up. Last night we were looking up mayflies and mosquito eaters, I thought they were the same but they are not. It turns out what we call mosquito eaters are crane flies and my room was full of them last night.

Texas garter snake (picture from google images)in my backyard making my dogs go crazy. Kieran went out with a big stick and it was striking at the dogs. They chased it and it finally got away under our fence.

We get Texas ticks here and garter snakes, can't TX keep their own.

Yep!

Scott Noelle does it again, he ends up in my inbox saying things that are very true at the right time.

Let's just say my household is out of whack, I could blame it on the moon...

Obviously I'm emitting stress and everyone else is feeling it and acting upon it.

Although I have made it quite clear that I am indeed cranky and it sucks to be in my skin I didn't want my family affected by it.

I have been doing my best to keep my cool and resolve issues and I'm doing pretty good. I just have this overall attitude of physical and mental crankiness. Everything and anything could bother me at any given moment and nothing at all could bother me because really it's just ME!!!

I am not comfortable in my skin right now so please DON'T touch me.




THE DAILY GROOVE ~ by Scott Noelle www.enjoyparenting.com/dailygroove::
The Canary In the Coal Mine ::

Long ago, miners avoided death by bringing canaries into the coal mines. The sensitive songbirds would react to small amounts of toxic gases, thereby alerting the miners to the invisible danger.In a way, our children provide a similar service.

We've been so conditioned to tolerate stress that we often fail to seek relief from it, but our sensitive children have no such tolerance. They often feel*our* stress before *we* do!

So when your child seems particularly irritable and reactive, it's a good idea to ask yourself whether s/he might be reflecting *your* stress. Check in with your body and emotions, and let yourself *feel*what's there. Seek the fresh air of soothing, stress-free thoughts, and then bless your child for keeping you in touch with your Inner Guidance.

http://dailygroove.net/canary

Feel free to forward this message to your friends!(Please include this paragraph and everything above.)Copyright (c) 2008 by Scott Noelle

Promotion

There is a new company called Revolution Money Exchange and it works like Paypal. They are promoting a $25 sign up and $10 for referrals until May 15.

I checked it out and it is legit, I just signed up, click on the banner at the top and it should take you to their site.

Ah hell...

Don't stop there, just keep cleaning, just keep cleaning...

Pretty soon the whole house is clean...

I'm done now, phew...

Caffeine is good stuff!

I'm the energizer Stephanie.

Warning

Eating lots of dark chocolate and drinking coffee could cause a buzzing in the back of your head.

It could cause you to spin in circles.

It could cause your mood to change for the better.

It could cause you to fold the mountain of laundry that has been piling up all week.

It's real easy to put the clothes in the washer and dryer, it's folding and putting away that is the real work.

I would have taken a picture if I thought of it, the pile is gone.

Jason just walked in and said, "Well I see you put the chocolate and coffee to good use."

It was Green's and Black organic dark chocolate and organic coffee for my *green* friends :)

Oh My Gosh!

Let's just say my hormones are telling me something!

I am just feeling indifferent, cranky, restless, crampy, I want to do things but don't feel like doing them, I'm short and easily agitated, my house is a mess, I'm not nesting yet.

I just went and bought some more chocolate, I have some wine left.

If anyone cares, I actually slept last night, well this morning for you normal people.

I went to bed around 3:45 am and the next thing I knew it was 7:15 am and I was still on my back with my eye pillow on my eyes. This means that I didn't move for 3 hours, wow. I even went back to sleep. First real sleep all week :)

Of course it doesn't matter because I have PMS and everything is 10 times worse than it really is!

Really it's just me, I just feel pissy.

I hope I get a good idea to blog about, I do my best stuff when I'm hormonal.

Sleep is highly overrated

Forgive me if I have already blogged about this!

I have not slept all week, no I'm not kidding, I mean I fall asleep for a few and wake up or get woken up and can't go back to sleep.

It sucks, I think it is hormonal, I mean I don't sleep well as it is but it seems to be worse pre-menstrual.

It's like I am almost asleep and something keeps me from getting there, it's really ridiculous.

I'm tired, the other night I went to bed early, like midnight, my kids came in several times, dogs barked, I couldn't relax, oh then there was the earthquake...

I blamed the door rattling on Cocoa, poor dog.

I'm telling you the forces are against me, it's stupid, it's a wonder I function at the level I do.

Tonight Jason said I can sleep when I'm dead, so there you have it.

I'm alive and kickin and I just won't go down without a fight!

Some kids can be cruel

Today we went to a birthday party for the neighbor girl, it was at McDonald's.



Everything was fine, I pretty much just observed and smiled and spoke a few words to a few people. I don't do well in this kind of environment so I was a little dizzy but otherwise fine. A little bored, a little tired, I'm an introvert and I just didn't put myself out there.

The reason I'm writing this is because my daughter was insulted.

I don't like stereotypes anymore than the next guy but this was typical public school behaviour.

We were getting ready to leave and I missed the incident, I must have been throwing away the garbage.

Cassie told me this as soon as we walked out the door.

When she was going to get her shoes a boy and her bumped into each other. He called her fat as he walked away from bumping into her.

She didn't say anything to him and I wish I would have seen it, now I know why she asked me to help her tie her shoes, it was so we could get out of there faster.

I started to write what he looked like but I deleted it, who cares about him, he hurt my daughter's feelings. I told her that this is pretty typical, kids are constantly insulting each other, it's how they survive.

It's wrong and it's sad and she has never been around kids that are just plain cruel. Well there was the time down the road but it wasn't directed at her.

I really could go on a rant about public school and the lack of parenting but you all know what I would say...

I just want my child to feel safe and not get a self image complex because of some stupid kid's comments.

Unconscious Mutterings

1. Questioning :: Everything, I question everything.
2. Immunity :: Unrealistic
3. Online dating :: Interesting
4. Calcium :: Carbonate
5. Dressing :: Newman's Ranch
6. Bucket :: Toys
7. Stain :: Carpet
8. Advanced :: Technology
9. Dramatic :: My children
10. Self-medication :: Hot bath, wine and chocolate

Want to play? Luna Nina

My grrlfriends will love this

I was taking a remedy that was helping my cycle, it actually did cut the duration of pain and stuff in half... For those that care it's called Lachesis.

I decided to stop taking it to see what the next period would be like.

Apparantly I've been exhibiting some hormonal tendencies lately :)

Tonight Jason asked me if I was still taking my remedy. I said no I stopped because I wanted to see how this month would be, he said, "Well I can TELL you what it will be like."

Gotta love him, he is honest and he knows me better than I know myself.
I am predictably unpredictable, I can be the same for 2 months and the 3rd month my body changes it up, I have no control over this by the way.

I am ME, that's for sure.

He brought me wine and chocolate :)

He is the bomb!!!

Emotions

Jared is going through another growth phase, I'm not sure if it's physical or emotional, he already grew an inch this month.



He is getting upset and frustrated more often, it's like he was leveling out and now BOOM it's intense again.

Instructing?

Jared had several things on the board and he was explaining them, he told me it was college.

This is what Cassie wrote on the board.

So...

Jared met a little boy that lives down the road today.

Jason went down and met the dad and they were talking and the little boy, who is 7, asked Jared what grade he was in.

Jared said, "what?"

He asked him again and said, "don't you go to school?"

Jared said, "No, I'm homeschooled, I don't go to prison."

The kid's dad chuckled according to Jason and so my husband told me this story.

So...

I need to watch what I say and have a talk with Jared about not saying that to kids who have to go to school.

Unconscious Mutterings

1. Silence :: What is that? Oh yeah that is when my internet shuts off and my music stops and I wake up. Yes, the silence wakes me up.


2. Wall :: Brick, like talking to some people.


3. Killed :: All the bad guys get killed.


4. Wishful :: Thinking...


5. Poodle :: Poor dog


6. Sullen :: Sad


7. Do not disturb :: Hotel door sign


8. Philadephia :: PA


9. Anticipation :: waiting in pure excitement or fear


10. Sidewalk :: chalk

Luna Nina

Win-Win

Doesn't always work...

Here is a real example that happened tonight.

Cassie and Jared were playing in the boys room and Kieran came in and wanted them out. He wanted to watch a new episode of a show he likes and they were playing.

They didn't want to leave because they were there first, they took everything out of the closet and were building some sort of fort.

Kieran wanted to watch tv in his room alone.

I offered different solutions but nobody budged. Cassie has her own room so I even offered to take everything out of her closet so they could play in it.

She didn't want that.

I asked Kieran if he could watch his show in her room or in the living room, we have 3 tv's and the other 2 were available.

He didn't want that.

I talked about respect, I talked about compromise I talked until I turned blue(ok I'm exaggerating a little)
I remained calm and I tried so hard to come up with a solution BUT nobody wanted a solution, they wanted what they wanted.

So running out of patience I played the trump card and said bottom line, it's Kieran's room and he doesn't want you in here so you have to get out.

So....

Cassie and Jared left.

Cassie went in her room, not happy and turned on the TV and then left a minute and came back.

Jared goes in and sits on her bed and starts watching with her and then she starts saying she wants to be alone.

This was out of the blue he wasn't doing anything but sitting there.

So he said he didn't want to leave so she stormed out to the living room crying.

Jason calls, *Stephanie*

Yeah, I'm on it :)

I asked Jared if he could do something else so Cassie could be alone. At first he said no because he was just watching tv with her but then he said fine and went and played in another room.

She went in her room and within minutes was fine.

I spend a lot of time helping my kids communicate and usually we do come up with a solution that everyone agrees too, just not this time.

Everyone is fine now.

This was just another learning experience that I'm sure we will reference to in the future. We do that from time to time, remember when this happened and we did this?

A quick thought

You know how we try to really say what we mean and speak literally about learning. For example unschoolers don't teach they facilitate...

Quoting Sandra Dodd here:

" The question about how to research something sounds to me pretty schooly.

I know it might not be what was thought, but it was the way it was stated, and I'd like to riff on that in general.If we were in a graduate class, researching it would involve finding recent studies done probably by other grad students or PhD candidates.

How do people learn naturally about such things, though?

Observation, conversation, comparisons, extrapolating from what you know already about various things:

If "How do we learn more?" replaces "How do we research this?" the answer becomes clearer and way more about unschooling, too."

This is not her whole post I was just interested in the researching point.

I use that word often and while it does sound very schooly to me I wasn't sure how else to say what I meant.

It reminds me of School of Rock where Mr. S asks Freddie what he like to do, he says, "I don't know, burn stuff."

Doesn't pyrotechnics sound more interesting than burn stuff?

I have no idea where I'm going... I think that choosing our words carefully is important especially when we are talking about unschooling to those who may be new to the idea. We should be as specific as we can and not use a lot of fluff, just put it out there. I can simply say *I like to learn instead of research*

Truthfully research sounds boring and drawn out where learning is fun.

It's ok if you don't follow me, my thoughts have been so jumbled lately that I need to start writing them down.

Dinner

Jason and I went out to dinner tonight for our anniversary.

We haven't been out in 4 years!

We are blessed with a friend that Jared likes and he did great, he hardly realized we were gone for 2 hours.

It was so weird to be in public alone without the kids.

We went to Outback Steakhouse, it was sooooo good, we are so full.

I really love their slogan, "No rules, just right"

Prevent abuse

I have been thinking way too much and not writing at all.

Some stereotypes and labels bother me, what bothers me is the people that make the stereotypes true.

First I'm talking about Christians who give us a bad name, you know the ones I'm talking about?

People hit their kids and the man rules over the wife and children and it's all because they are Christian. I have had to stand up lately and say hey I'm a Christian and I don't do that or believe this and it really pisses me off that non-Christians are getting the example of Christianity from people who I believe are misrepresenting Christ because the Jesus I know would not act like that and He definitely wouldn't hit a child.

My friend Deanne has posted about National Child Abuse Prevention Month and I wanted to pass it on.

Beautiful Day

The sun came out, the sun came out!!!!

All day and was warm in the 70's!

Thanks to whoever gave pudge some peanut butter :)

If you think I'm off my rocker(well I am) you must not have seen Lilo & Stitch.

Jason and Kieran did lots of yardwork, my baby ran the weed eater and mowed, he wasn't big enough last year...growing up on me fast.

I went for a walk and went outside as much as I could and did various things around the house. Nice weather makes me want to clean and declutter and organize, I must be nuts!

Hope you all had a glorious day!

Unconscious Mutterings

1. Nutritious :: Delicious


2. Graduate :: How do you graduate from life?


3. Tonight! :: the night we make history...


4. Located :: Found


5. Weapon :: BAR Browning Automatic Rifle


6. Jumper :: Cables


7. Collectibles :: Elephants


8. Dennis :: The Menace


9. Hostile :: Missiles


10. Vivid :: I can see clearly now...

Luna Nina

Unschooling Voices Issue 14

Issue 14 is up, check it out when you can.

I didn't post an entry this month, I started to write one it's in my drafts, I just wasn't happy with it. It's like being put on the spot, I know you don't have to answer the question, oh well.

Sun?

Who gave Pudge tuna?

Don't you know it's an abomination?

Someone please give that fish a peanut butter sandwich, I need sunshine!

Blah...

I am feeling BLAH!!!!

I guess I am affected when we have more than one rainy day in a row, where did the sun go???? Come back come back!

It's also post menstrual and I do have a few down days after that so I figure I'll be fine tomorrow.

I guess I have a lot on my mind and I have a lot I want to do and I don't know where to start.

I also am bothered by some things that the neighbors tell me that their teachers say.

School is so damaging to families it just separates them and indoctrinates the kids, it really saddens me.

I wish I could save them, I would shout from the rooftop, I would hand out Holt and Gatto books at the street corner if I could afford it.

All I can do is not participate in the system and help those who want my help to see the light.

Some people complain about the system, the teachers, the homework but still keep sending their precious children there. They are full of hot air and unwilling to step out of the box and do something about it.

Many people just think it's what they are supposed to do or feel trapped, I believe everyone has a choice and where there is a will there is a way.

I will do whatever it takes to keep my children home with me.

Unschooling Rocks!

Learning through living is what we do.

I got the goods

Here is what my sweety got me today. He's the man!

These flowers are gorgeous and they smell so good.

Hitched

We have been married for 15 years now, together for over 19 years.

We have grown together and it keeps getting better.

This is our song *Just Between You and Me*

Gag

So Jared and I are in Kroger's parking lot and I'm putting the stuff in the van and he is dancing around.

The people next to us are putting their stuff in their car and the lady asks Jared what he has. He is shaking a thing of Tic -Tacs and she goes, "oh you have tic tacs you must have been good in the store, were you a good boy so you got a treat." Jared just went *HUH*

I didn't say anything, what could I say?

No he didn't get a treat for being a good boy because he isn't a freakin dog!

He gets something EVERY time we go to Kroger, it's part of his gig...

Sheesh I can't believe people say things like that!

To my most favorite fool in the world

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!

Kids say...math

Tonight Cassie and I were playing Rummy, we don't usually keep score because she is still getting the hang of it. We have played on and off for a few months, she does really good.

She wanted to keep score tonight, so she was writing down the numbers and I showed her how to line up the columns. She has added like this before but she forgot because it's been awhile. Anyway, I asked her what the amounts were and showed her where to write them.

She has been playing with a couple girls that live down the road this week. She said that sometimes they play math games, I asked her what she meant.

She said you know like 1+1+=2 and 3+3=6. Then she goes, mom they don't even know what 100+100 is, because they go to school, they don't learn anything at school.

I just giggled and said well...just make sure you don't tell them that.

Let it roll

So...

I talked to my dad tonight, I haven't called since Christmas. Let's just say I only talk to him every 3 or 4 months because then I have to detox from the comments he makes.

A few were about Bush, flu shots, school, just stuff.

We are opposite politically, we don't talk about religion, medicine or school, he is a teacher and I am an UNSCHOOLER.

I told him that Jared was reading and instead of saying something encouraging he got on me about Cassie not reading.

She is 8, she can read a little here and there but not sentences and she doesn't try very hard.

He said if she was in public school since Kindergarton that she would HAVE to be reading by now or they would be looking for a problem as to why she wasn't.

I said is there some law that all kids have to read at 5? He said *no*
I said one of the reasons I homeschool is so that my kids can learn things when they are ready.

She is FINE!

I really can't talk to him about much of anything, it is so frustrating but his derogatory comments are uncalled for. This always happens, he said I need to farm them out because they are with me all day. I already blogged about that the last time he said it...

http://learningthroughliving-stephanie.blogspot.com/2007/12/something-my-dad-said.html

Ya know my mom used to always ask me about testing and all sorts of stuff, I tried to explain unschooling to her, I can't even go there with my dad. Maybe when the kids are older and he is retired...maybe...

I finally told my mom 2 years ago that I know what I am doing and that we aren't discussing it anymore. She hasn't brought it up since.

YES!!!! I REALLY DO KNOW WHAT I AM DOING!!!!!!!

That's better :)

After I got off the phone and ranted a bit I had to clean something, I'm ok now :)

Off to the tub soon...

small addition

"Unschooling and parenting this way are completely natural for me."

Natural but not easy.

Unschooling is simple.

Parenting is hard work.

I have to work at my attitude and how I see things and keep going and doing better the next moment when I mess up.

I didn't want to sound all high and mighty like I was a perfect parent or something.

I'm far from perfect but I am working on doing better each moment.

Limits

Just a little clarification :)

I do not impose artificial limits on my kids.

There are natural limits, due to sharing, taking turns, what resources we have available at the time.

This is where talking about respect all of their lives comes in to play. We learn how to share the computer or not to eat the last piece of something without announcing it. It's give and take, I try to make win- win situations when the kids are not getting along.

It's just part of the process of living and learning together.

When a child has say only an hour to use the computer, what if he is in the middle of something? Does a parent say I don't care your time is up? Or do they say, ok how much longer do you need to finish?


I really am not trying to make things so black and white, but when I see what some parents say I do draw these conclusions.

I realize there is lots of middle ground between authoritarian parenting and what I do, I don't even know what to call it :)

There are lots of buzz words: peaceful, mindful, respectful, partnership.
I always called what I did *common sense parenting* but then I realized that so many people don't have common sense.

Right from the start, I carried my baby, I talked to them, shared with them, fed them when they were hungry and they slept when they were tired.

Instead of filling their world with no's and cant's and dont's, I told them what they could do, created an enviornment where they could crawl around and be free to explore.

Unschooling and parenting this way are completely natural for me.

Phrases from my past

Because I said so.

Do as I say, not as I do.

Kids should be seen and not heard.

How many times do I have to tell you.

Go to your room.

You're grounded.

Get out of my sight.

You ungrateful brat.

As soon as you're 18, you're out of here.

You'll eat it and like it.

NO!

All you are, are a bunch of mouths to feed.

I won't say who said these things, there are so many more I just can't remember at the moment.

Obviously I have more healing to do but my past is a great reminder of why I do what I do.

No chores?

Since this has been a hot topic lately I thought I would just give my straight answer right here.

Families live together, learn together and work together.

I will freely admit to doing all the cleaning as my kids were young. They of course as toddlers would want to help. As they grew I would keep them with me and talk to them. I have never forced my children to do any chores.

As they are getting a little older they are helping out more. I ask for help and they usually help. This wasn't always the case, sometimes I would get a grumble, so we talk about why. If they are in the middle of something and I ask one to feed the dog or something, they tell me they will do it when they are done. It's nobody's job to feed the dogs, most days it gets down without asking.

My kids know how to sweep, mop, vacuum, run the washer, do dishes, feed the animals, clean the toilet etc. They know how from watching and from doing.

When the house gets messy I just ask for everyone to pitch in and we can get it down fast. Most days I just go around picking things up or moving them to the right room as I walk through the house.

My kids make lots of messes and they are usually willing to help out.

Some more than others, a lot is personality.

We talk about cleaning and how we all live here and it is nice if we can all keep it liveable.

I still do the majority of cleaning and ask for help as I see fit.

I want my kids to help from their heart not from force.

The beauty really shines when they just go and do something without being asked but because they wanted to.

A recent example is last week Kieran weeded the flower bed in front of the house, he did it as a surprise for his dad.

Awhile ago I woke up and both boys were doing the dishes.

Kieran likes to clean the bathroom, although he hasn't done it lately. Sometimes he sweeps and mops the floors. Cassie likes to wash windows and dust.

This is not an everyday occurance, it is intermittent but it is important because it isn't forced.

Cassie asked me to help her clean her room last night and she really did a lot. Usually I clean it because it gets overwhelming for her.

As they grow and mature it really gets easier.

My attitude is also that if I am the one who wants to clean then I'll just clean.

Life is too short to get worked up about these kind of things.

Childhood is really short and I do not want my kids to spend it doing chores.

Blurring the lines?

I've been reading yahoo groups lately and it's really the same thing over and over. I mean the topics seem to go in cycles, the latest seems to be cleaning and it's on many groups at the same time.

What is unschooling?
Is it just academic?
Can you unschool and force chore charts and bedtimes and control food and teeth brushing and limit tv, video games and computer?
Does unschooling have to extend into how we parent?
Do we have to be mindful and respectful?
Can't we just control what our kids do and still unschool?
Can't we just live by rules?
Does it have to be principles?
Do we have to model and discuss and trust?

Are there really academic only unschoolers vs. whole life learners? Why do we divide? Do unschoolers really have to parent differently in order to embrace the philosophy?



What do you think?

I'm really hoping for some comments on this post.



I will tell you what I think :)

The short answer is that I suppose you can only unschool academically while you control and limit everything else. BUT you will not experience the full benefits of unschooling with authoritarian parenting. Our relationships with our kids should be our priority, for me academics comes after, learning is just a by product of living.

It really seems like there are two camps, the academic unschoolers and the whole life unschoolers. It is kind of odd though because if you really get unschooling there isn't any academic quota to meet.

To quote my good friend Tina :

"Life is learning. Learning is what happens when you live."

In my very biased not so humble opinion I believe that you are selling your kids and yourself short if you don't fully embrace the philosophy.

It's hard to explain how I parent because when I say things like we don't have rules, chores, bedtimes, punishments, privileges or limits on electronics then people who do not get it think we are living in massive chaos where the kids rule and the parents drool.

What we do is talk about respect and safety and how to do things and what is good, bad, or indifferent. We take every situation as an opportunity to learn how to communicate and get along with each other. This is a normal part of our daily life, lots of dialogue going on, lots of questions asked and answered.

I firmly believe that unschoolers parent completely different then the mainstream, traditional, rule oriented, do as I say parents.

We should be partnering with our kids and helping them navigate their world, not limiting and controlling and ruling it.

Unconscious Mutterings

1. Money :: Pit (Just watched The Money Pit)


2. Unhappy :: sad


3. Joking :: Kieran (always goofing)


4. Chipmunk :: cheeks


5. Date :: April 3


6. Slideshow :: life in pictures


7. Chicago :: White Sox


8. Lifetime :: Learning


9. Skid row :: 18 and life (that's a song)


10. Edward :: I got nothing for Edward

Luna Nina

Fun in the mud

Jared says, "Hey mom playing in the mud is fun, did you play in the mud when you were a kid?"

I told him I did, but then he said, "But you don't anymore."

It's great to be a kid :)

Two years ago today...

We left Pennsylvania.

Wow time really does fly.

The biggest thing I missed was our house, we had a great little house, of course with 6 people it wasn't big enough but it was built right and the location was great.

I do miss some people, I could name them all.

I do not miss the weather or the *steel mill mentality*

We are progressive people, we are forward thinking, always open to change and growth.

We lived there for seven years and before that nine years in California. If you want a complete culture shock move from CA to PA :)

I struggled for years, wondering why God sent us there, it was really a rough time for ME personally. I did grow a lot, I learned a lot and I realize that it was part of my journey to be who I am.

We had trying times but we had good times too and two of our children were born there, the older two were born in CA.

So we packed up the truck and it drove away, we packed the van and cleaned the house(it wasn't sold yet) and we left PA...

Wow, two whole years ago! Here we are living and loving and learning in TN.

Happy St. Patrick's Day

While this is more my style...

These were too cute to pass up :)



Yes, I am Irish, it's in my blood. I DO NOT eat corn beef and cabbage but I sure can drink.

Happy St. Pat's Day to all my friends whether you are Irish or not :)

Unconscious Mutterings

1. Paranormal :: Poltergeist


2. Alarm :: Smoke, clock, fear, tornado


3. Operative :: word


4. Changing :: me, always learning, growing, changing


5. Framed :: set up


6. Beer :: Michelob


7. Referral :: job


8. Unmasked :: honest


9. Movie star :: Sandra Bullock


10. Handbook :: Teenage Liberation Handbook, A must read!

Get your words and play Luna Nina

We have a tub

We have lived here almost 2 years and never had the use of the 2nd bath. Jason just fixed the tub and it is finally ready to be used.

See the nice hole.

It is finished and I will be taking my first bath in my new tub tonight :)

WOOHOO!!!! I love my mr. fix-it :)

Back into TV Land

Bear with me, this is supposed to be at the bottom but I can't figure out how to move it and I don't feel like typing the post over. You'll get it as you read :) This is Jason fixing my ceiling. What does this have to do with TV, you ask...

There is always a story around here...

Today the cable guy was supposed to come between 12-3pm, I went to bed at 3:00am and I couldn't sleep...

I knew I had to get up just in case he showed up early or at noon, so I got up at 11:00am. I know for you normal people that isn't early, but it is when you are me and you didn't even sleep.

So I felt like crap :)

The day went on and we started thinking he wasn't coming so the guy called around 2:30pm, he was off in the boonies and apologized but he was on his way. Like they can't give him two jobs in the same vicinity...

So we are already wired because we have cable internet, we decided to go for the triple deal, tv, phone, internet.

Jared and I were in the boys room learning about the solar system, he had questions and thankfully I have encyclopedias in the house with pictures. So we were reading and talking and minding our own business when all of a sudden...

BOOM, CRASH, OH SHIT!

Well here's the picture.

The cable guy fell through my ceiling! First of all he wasn't hurt, phew!

All Jason could do was laugh and assure him it was OK, he was very remorseful. The thing is Jason already stepped through the same spot and we had the ceiling taped up, I'm not kidding! Except this was much bigger and now had to be worked on today. Oh Home Depot loves us!

I just told him *welcome to the money pit*

So anyway everyone is so excited we haven't had TV in 10 months. So guess what everyone around here will be doing for awhile :)

I didn't get the memo

So this morning I got a rude awakening by someone knocking and my dogs wanting to get them. It was 10:15 am by the way so you can only imagine my displeasure. None of you have ever seen my in the morning but I'm sure you can imagine it.

So apparantly we are in violation of two city ordinances, who knew.

I was standing on my porch in my pajamas, thank God I wore something presentable to bed, waiting for this guy to write me up.

I asked him if there was a rule book or something, I mean come on...

Apparantly they are cracking down, that means the city needs money so we are out canvassing the neighborhoods looking for whatever we can get people on.

Hitting is never the answer

We had a small incident tonight where Cassie was messing around and apparantly hit the neighbor boy and he hit her back, no time for her to apologize or say it was an accident or anything.

My husband will not stand for anyone hitting his daughter...EVER! We talked to everyone and got the story and then Jason talked to the boy. He basically said I don't care what she did you do not hit my daughter and you do not hit girls. The boy didn't know what to do, he went outside, walked around, thought a little and cried a bit. He is also spending the night tonight, we left that up to him if he still wanted to. My son told him that *you don't hit girls* my kids whack each other on occasion. Jason has had the talk with them and even though she is your sister you do not hit her and even if she hit you first... We told them that we know she can get out of hand but that they need to come to us and we will talk to her, do not hit her.

Some people may think it's a double standard but you know what I don't think it is. We don't want him or any boy to grow up and hit his girlfriend or his wife. We are also talking to Cassie about not hitting boys or girls or anyone for that matter.

When an adult hits another adult they can be arrested if the person presses charges. Parents have no right to hit their child who can't press charges. You want to talk double standards? Parents hit kids then turn around and tell them not to hit. That is stupid! Do as I say not as I do, I heard that one enough growing up to make me gag...

Spanking is wrong period, no if's and's or but's about it! Hitting is never the answer, we need to model this for our kids and help them deal with frustration and anger that would cause them to hit.

This is an ongoing thing for me as a parent, when my kids whack each other sometimes I just ask them if they want me to do that to them, of course they don't.

ABC meme

I borrowed this from Kelli

A - Available?: after 1:00pm

B-Best friend: Jason

C-Cake or Pie?: It depends, I love Apple Pie but if I'm having sweets it's Green's & Black organic dark chocolate

D-Drink of choice: Merlot

E-Essential thing used everyday: Computer

F-Favorite color: Red

G-Gummi bears or worms: YUCK

H-Hometown: I was born in Lewiston NY, I have lived all over the place and don't consider anywhere my hometown.

I-Indulgence: DUH!!! dark chocolate, red wine

J-January or February: WHY? I guess Feb because it's closer to spring

K-Kids and names: Kieran, Brennan, Cassandra, Jared

L-Life: The learning never stops

M-Marriage date: April 3, 1993

N-Number of siblings: 2 and 2 step

O-Oranges or apples: both

P-Phobias:closed spaces

Q-Quote: Everyone wants to tell you what to do and what's good for you. They don't want you to find your own answers, they want you to believe theirs. Socrates, Peaceful Warrior

R-Reason to smile: my kids

S-Season: Fall

T-Tag three people: Anyone who wants to do this :)

U-Unknown fact about me: ?????I think you all know me :)

V-Vegetable you don't like: Broccoli

W-Worst Habit: Interrupting/finishing people's sentences

X-X-rays you have had: ankle, wrist, teeth, hip, cat scans and ultrasounds

Y-Your favorite food: Pizza

Z-Zodiac: Taurus

Unconscious Mutterings

1. Homicide :: CSI (I love CSI all 3 of them I'm jonesing hard, I just found out they will be back on in April)


2. Divisive :: Homeschool/Unschool, Christianity/Churchianity, Socialists/Libertarians


3. Flash :: Lightning


4. Steaming :: Tea Kettle (especially when I forget I'm heating water)


5. Crunch :: chips


6. Look out! :: The shit's gonna hit the fan!


7. Anticipating :: Waiting, wanting, impatience


8. Slim :: Me at 16


9. Navel :: Fuzzy (I do not do peach anything since I was 16 and had a really bad experience)


10. Help :: That is what I TRY to do, help others do better, be better, think better than they are at this moment.

Luna Nina

Apples and Oranges

What is the real purpose of school? I believe it is just Government babysitting and controlling the masses, dumbing down at it's finest. So why do people new to unschooling or not so new for that matter want to see proof that unschooling produces competent, thriving, successful adults?

How many incompetent, wandering aimlessly, sitting on welfare, can't learn how to get a life kind of people come out of public school? You know as many as I do, really. There is no guarantee on life and unschooling doesn't guarantee anything that looks like schooling. We don't want to look like school we are separated from schoolish ways and thoughts and results.

Unschooling produces free thinking people who know how to learn, people who follow their interests and people who are productive in society. You can argue that so does school, look at all of us, are we incompetent dumb asses? No we saw through the crap and we did what we had to but we, well I, don't give school any credit for my brains or success.

Success is in the eye of the beholder, it means different things to different people. My hope for my kids is that they grow up happy and free to choose what they want to do with their life. I hope that they will find something they love to do that makes them a living. They can do anything they set their mind to because they have been allowed the freedom to find out WHO they are and WHAT they want and they KNOW HOW TO LEARN.

There is no reason to compare schooled kids with unschooled kids, we don't even have the same goals, apparantly we don't even speak the same language. Actually it seems that many homeschoolers speak the public school language and do have the same schoolish goals.
You know I'm not trying to be divisive but it's pretty hard not to. My friend just told me that her son was invited to a sleep over with other homeschoolers and was told to bring his homework. WTF???

If that makes any sense then please enlighten me so I can gag... How utterly ridiculous that homeschoolers are doing this. They leave the school system but they just recreate it with school at home and co-ops and all sorts of other ways, trust me, they do it here too, I'm just not interested and not even close to participating.

If your goal is to produce products of public education then save us and them the heartache and just put them in school.

If you want happy, productive, free thinking people who know how to learn what they need when they need it then unschool. Don't try it, don't toy with it JUST DO IT, your kids are young once and don't have the luxury of a do over.

You know what, who cares if they don't learn long division or the times tables, or whatever your hang up is until they are 18. Does it really matter?

All of these kids are sitting in school for 12 years of their life getting shit crammed into them that they have no interest in or use for. Why not learn things when you are actually interested and have a real need for? I gave my teachers a run for their money with my questions and attitude. It is so easy to memorize facts, take a test and forget it. I have learned so much as an adult and as a result of my kids interests. I promptly forgot whatever facts they taught in school, what purpose did they have in MY life?? NONE!
I won't even get started on all the classes I HAD to take and college too that is another topic.

My point is either unschool or don't it's really that simple. Many people are drawn to unschooling but don't fully deschool themselves and allow the freedom and joy that comes with learning.

What happened to Spring?

I'm pretty sure we were wearing shorts at the zoo last weekend. This is just a dusting but it is like really freakin cold.

Unschooling or not?

There have been some really good threads at Always Learning lately, the link is in my sidebar.
It is Sandra Dodd's list, she is straight to the point and cuts through the crap which is probably why I like her.

I agree with many things she says, not everything but who agrees with everything. I agree that we can't babystep and pussyfoot around people's feelings. Kids are young once, we only have one chance with them, parents who are seeking unschooling do not have the luxury to take years to get it all the while their kids are growing up before their eyes. Wouldn't you rather be told straight out what things are like then to smack yourself upside the head 10 years later and wish you had gotten it sooner?

When people are seeking out unschooling by joining discussion lists then we need to be honest and forthright, we need to tell them like it is.
I am so sick of people being offended by one thing or another, it really gets old. Either you want to get it or you don't but don't blame us for trying to help.

I admit I have been kind of soft lately due to the fact of *offending* people in the past, not purposefully that's for sure.

I love it when people cut the crap and tell me head on what they think and it's high time I go back to doing just that.

I run a list with over 370 people on it and I have not been diligent in keeping it up to unschooling snuff. I have let many things go that should be addressed, I'm not a babysitter, I can't control what people say.

Someone sent me an email who unsubbed and pretty much insulted our group and said we weren't unschooling or gentle parenting.

She wasn't there very long and never posted and it was during a time of some turmoil by a few members.

I could have been really offended by some of the things she said but I'm not. I am actually a little taken back and surprised but I have to let it roll. I can not please everyone and I don't plan on it, somehow I think I used to want to.

I do not understand why so many out there want to claim the unschooling title without actually doing it. There are people out there giving unschooling a bad rap because they call whatever it is they do unschooling while it clearly is not. Everyone is free to choose what they do or don't do but don't call it something it clearly isn't.

Unschooling has a purpose, there is a reason for the distinction, to meet like minded individuals who live and learn in freedom.

I am not big on labels, I would call what we do *living* but since everyone lives...

Daily Groove

This is very timely for me as I was woken up before I was ready and I layed in bed trying to go back to sleep. I struggle with this kind of exhaustion and it's definitely mental :)

THE DAILY GROOVE ~ by Scott Noellewww.enjoyparenting.com/dailygroove:: Easing Exhaustion from Within ::

Resistance is holding onto thoughts that block your experience of Well-Being. Worry, frustration,resentment, annoyance, etc. -- all are manifestations of resistance. Clinging to resistant thoughts takes a lot of energy-- energy that *could* be easing your path.

Ironically, parents often complain about (i.e.,resist) not getting enough sleep. When you resist that condition, the resistance drains your energy, causing you to need even more sleep! Of course it's good to get as much rest as you can when you're exhausted. But you can also balance the equation from the *inside* by releasing the resistance that creates the stress that makes you tired --including your resistance to tiredness itself.

Today (and tonight) notice how you talk and think about sleep and rest. Gently release any thought that feels stressful. Imagine that every time you release a resistant thought, it's like giving yourself an hour of sleep. :-)

http://dailygroove.net/exhaustionFeel free to forward this message to your friends!(Please include this paragraph and everything above.)Copyright (c) 2008 by Scott Noelle"Inspiration & Coaching for Progressive

Parents"http://www.ScottNoelle.comhttp://www.EnjoyParenting.com 1044 Water Street, Suite 342Port Townsend, WA 98368USATo unsubscribe or change subscriber options visit:http://www.aweber.com/z/r/?LIxMLOyctCyMbGwMzKxMtEa0zIysTCwsHA

Some moments are still a little challenging

I have a lot going on in my head but I will try to focus.

I have been a mom for 12 1/2 years and I'm so quick to give advice about *getting over yourself* and these are *your issues* and blah blah blah...

I do give myself the same advice by the way... All day I kept telling myself to get over it, it only bothers YOU, you are the only one who even knows it's bothering YOU!

My house has become a disaster area, for many reasons, that I may or may not share. I used to keep house so well, of course as anyone will testify if you do that then it is ALL you are doing.

So, I have learned to *let go* oh my gosh you have no idea how much I have let go in the cleaning department. We go days with stuff strewn about before I (we) pick it up, the clean laundry piles up waiting to be folded. Cassie's room, oh let's not go there... I cleaned the boys' room today because I wanted to and you wouldn't know it now :)

It's all for my own peace of uncluttered mind, but who am I kidding? My mind is so full of thoughts and ideas and opinions, I might use mess as an excuse. For example the last time I cleaned the boys' room was so I could watch Across the Universe, I actually can't sit and watch a movie with a mess around me. Am I just weird? Don't answer that.

I have come a long way with a lot more to go, this post wasn't even going to be about messes or cleaning. I clean when I want to period. I am not kidding, I used to be so crazy about picking up or doing dishes or whatever. I have been known to let go on occasion and now don't always do the dishes before bed, even though I hate to wake up to a mess. It is so liberating to say *you know what, I don't want to do the dishes* My husband is so easy, he always tells me to take a break or don't worry about it, I'm learning from him, he is so easy going and relaxed. I'm just an uptight honky :) anyone seen Bringing Down the House, love it.

Life is messy, kids are messy, people make messes, otherwise we would do nothing and learn nothing and live in a box covered in plastic for fear of making a mess. That doesn't happen here, nobody is afraid to make a mess.

We live here, we learn here, we work here, it definitely gets messy. You know what it's a-ok as long as I can find the floor long enough to vacuum it :)

Tonight the kids were being loud and really not listening and I got a tad bit agitated. That was what my post was really about. I don't want to get upset or frustrated, I just want to sail through any challenge and work it out, tonight was a little difficult. It's over now and at least I can go over it in my mind and figure out how to do better next time.

The Saga Continues...

The adventures of Petie and Boomer continue!

This time...

Is much different then previous hacks. He hacks the delegate counting! He makes it so they count the delegates wrong. And makes it so anyone that would count it disappear! Interesting isn't it? Now, he must make it so no one messes up America! This story continues, more hacks coming up.

Kieran wrote this.

There is a floor!

I vacuumed and mopped today, as you can see Cocoa is happy. After I let her in, they were out all day, she is a spoiled little house dog.

Mocha too :)

I have no idea about all the spots it must be the lens. Kieran is like mom what ARE you doing????

A trip to the zoo

Here is JW1 and JW2 on the merry -go- round.

Kate and Cassie.

We had beautiful weather yesterday so we decided to go to the zoo, well apparantly everyone else in the greater Nashville area had the same idea. I have never seen so many people there, it was so packed.

We ran into some friends and had a good time, I got to see my girls too, they need a bath :)

Meet Petie...

The computer hacker, he is erasing files and wreaking havoc everywhere.

This is Boomer, his sidekick, together they sure are trouble makers.

Oh looks like he is trying to escape...

Join us again for the Adventures of Boomer and Petie.

Unconscious Mutterings

1. Chemical :: smell (Jason is refinishing our tub and the chemicals smell)


2. Poker :: Ante up (The kids and I play poker often)


3. Federal :: Taxes (need I say more)


4. Mattress :: Sleep


5. Who am I? :: queen of something :)


6. Investigation :: FBI


7. In good hands :: Allstate


8. 8:30 :: time


9. Creditors :: UGH!


10. Resource :: Internet

Get your words at Luna Nina

Unschooling Voices Issue 13

Unschooling Voices is up at Po Moyemu

Thanks to Silvia for pulling it together this month, there are lots of great posts to read.