Thursday, May 08, 2008

What has she been thinking about?

In case anyone wonders why I've been quiet it's because my mind is thinking and contemplating and I'm having a hard time writing it down.

Some of these thoughts are old ones resurfaced, some are new, some are raw, but I have to feel what I feel in order to figure stuff out.

A few things on my mind lately are homeschooling, unschooling, secular, Christian, what's the difference, spanking(NOT) but why do people do that, what would Jesus really do, my faith, my beliefs, my principles, this country, politics and of course the damaging effects of public school.

I'm not sure what I'll touch on in this post I guess I'll go where my mind takes me. I'll probably go take a bath and come back and finish this.

A few days ago I was really thinking about unschooling as secular or Christian because many people will use that distinction, so I was thinking about what the REAL difference is. In my mind I believe that Christians base their life on faith, well so do I, but I am not a Christian unschooler and I don't homeschool for religious reasons. I just happen to be a Christian and an unschooler it's how I live, it's not even a defined thing except online. Some people call it *secular unschooling* and *Christian unschooling* I just don't do that, unschooling is unschooling, many different people with many different beliefs unschool.

There are many more faiths and religions out there that unschool so secular or Christian doesn't begin to define it.

I'm not trying to define anything I really don't like many labels, some serve a purpose especially when we are looking for people who think like we do or at least have an idea of where we are coming from. The only problem with that is stereotypes, I hate stereotypes but when you meet people who make them true it can be frustrating. It can make you not want to associate yourself with a certain label or group because of what others believe about them whether it's true or not.

I run a yahoo group of unschooling Christians, so I know they are out there.
When I talk to people who aren't Christian and hear some experiences they have had with Christians it makes me want to scream. Spanking and control are big issues, I do not believe in spanking. As a matter of fact I firmly believe that hitting is wrong and unacceptable and nobody has the right to hit someone else.

Children are smacked everyday and some are guised under Christian parental authority, that makes me ill, it makes me not want to be lumped in with those people. I may be losing some readers here but it's how I feel it's how I have always felt.

If an adult hits an adult they can press charges but if a child is hit they have to take it...

I wasn't spanked as a child but I was beat up as a teen and mentally , emotionally and verbally abused.

I am a believer in God and Jesus, I love the Lord I pray daily I have faith and I will just live on that faith. I will not live by religious indoctrination and I will not take any man's interpretation of the Bible as gospel. God knows my heart and he loves me because he created me. I am free to be ME, Christ has set me free.

My kids are free, we live and learn without rules and punishment but with respect and faith.


Grace Walker said...

Stephanie, I LOVE this post!! I am absolutely, 100% with you here. I previously went to a 'chuch' for 11 years that was big on teaching about authority and it certainly did great damage to us. We are still recovering, to be honest with you. I flat-out call that spiritual abuse. There's a book I want to finish reading that I started a while back. it's called, 'The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse' by Jeff VanVonderen. It's very telling...I've not read a lot of it so I really can't comment on the book as a whole but what I did read was profound and very adequately described the experiences I've had. It wasn't just this 'church' though....
I appreciate you voicing this and I'm glad you're here. It lets me know that I'm not alone.

Tina said...

I let my faith and personal thoughts be that...mine. We abhor any thing to do with organized religion, yet I accepted Christ years ago. I purposely stay away from churched Christians because they make me very uncomfortable in their extreme belief system. Unschooling is our lifestyle in all ways. That puts us automatically on a different plane than the majority.

justjuls said...

Great thoughts -
but we've sort of talked about this before.
I was thinking as I read about something I heard said once - that Christian makes a better noun than adjective. I loved the way you said it - unschooling Christians - instead of Christian unschoolers. Much better that way.
I had an ah ha moment when I read it.
So when you start that RadUnChr group - make me the 2nd member!

Jenny said...

I don't like it when people claim that "secular unschooling" is a different animal than "Christian unschooling" either.

Sarah said...

Very thought-provoking post. I am on a similar boat...lot of pondering, absorbing, digesting. When the weather is nice, I am too involved in outdoor activities with the kids. Hopefully, I can get back to more musing and writing. Thanks for your words of wisdom, always.

~Katherine said...

Hi Stephanie. Parental authority to me is questionable. Traditionally churches and Christian parents have assumed the role of God's ambassador in the lives of churchgoers and children. My personal belief (not doctrinal) is that the role of being an ambassador of Christ has gotten very distorted over the centuries, and that this is because of worldliness not godliness. It's so much quicker to hit children than to develop parenting skills. It's much faster to grab the reigns (authority) than it is to work together with the people in your congregation. We could learn a lot from secular groups about handling these kinds of things by gaining collaborative skills. The information is the important thing. Not the religious background of people who have information which Christians lack either because they studiously ignore it or because they follow tradition rather than God.