Friday, January 28, 2011

Life without school

Our kids have never been to school and I'm pretty sure they won't ever. I know I can't predict the future but we live as if school didn't exist because in our lives it doesn't.

We want freedom from the standards, grades, tests, subjects, schedule etc...

We live and learn each day without school.

Learning is as natural as breathing when one has never been stifled by schooling.

Learning is not a chore, it is not a lesson given by a teacher, it is not something only done Monday through Friday from 8-2.

Learning is a personal thing between the learner and the world. We can't make someone learn, sure we can try but it's artificial.

Learning through Living is the best and most easy way to learn anything.

When we want information, we seek it out, we research on the web, go to the library, ask someone who we believe may know, watch tv/movies, experiment, try something new, be creative.

School is not essential to life and it really is a hazard to an individual's learning style.

When one is not schooled, they know how they learn best and they just do it.

Think outside of the box, leap outside of the box, it's worth it!

I am amazed everyday by my children, they truly Learn through Living!


the period in human development that occurs between the beginning of puberty and adulthood

I believe that our society has made adolescence into  a stuck period of time. High school is basically age 14 - 18. At a time when young people are growing and maturing we lock them up with others the same age.

It's a hormone fest for one thing. It's full of Cliques, peer pressure, bullying, grades, tests, stress, trying to be yourself or someone you're not, following the rules, breaking the rules, following the crowd, not thinking for yourself...

High School is a collossal waste of time and of youth.

I believe that teens can and should be following their interests and learning what they need when they need it. I believe that for every child.

Teens can be doing meaningful work, real work, getting paid.

I just don't see the point of high school. It is not to prepare you for the real world. What in the real world resembles school?

Nothing! Nothing at all!

School is an artificial environment set up to control the masses. It is very simple.

It is an escape for teens to get away from their controlling parents. While the school officials attempt to control, it's really the home environment that controls.

Instead of being controlled they need to be thinking and doing.

People need to be free to learn and grow and think for themselves.

They do not need to be stuck in a classroom all day being fed bullshit and regurgitating it on command.

“Your teacher cannot bridge the gap between what you know and what you want to know. For his words to ‘educate’ you, you must welcome them, think about them, find somewhere for your mind to organize them, and remember them.Your learning is your job, not your teacher’s job. And all you need to start with is desire. You don’t need a schoolteacher to get knowledge – you can get it from looking at the world, from watching films, from conversations, from reading, from asking questions, from experience.”

“Real learning requires meaning. Meaningless information can be memorized and repeated, but it’s not learning.

Grace Llewellyn

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Importance of bonding

Bonding: A relationship that usually begins at the time of birth between a parent and offspring and that establishes the basis for an ongoing mutual attachment.

I believe that it is imperative to bond with our babies right from the womb and time of birth. I wonder if many people actually realize that it has a lasting impact on that persons life. Some may even think that babies don't remember, oh I believe they do. I am going to be the example here, I didn't realize the impact until a few years ago. 

I would say I was detachment parented. I was not breastfed or held all the time, I was left to cry, I never bonded with my parents. I did have a bond with my grandfather that I have held dear to me but he is gone and he didn't raise me. He did hold me on his chest, I was a colicky baby and he soothed me and loved me.
The bond with my grandfather lasted into childhood and adulthood even though we lived 3000 miles apart most of the time, it was there, it was special, it's still there and he died years ago.

My parents were teenagers and really not ready to be parents, I'm thankful that I'm here, that my mom had me. I had a rough childhood and a worse teenagehood. 

I didn't realize until a couple years ago what was happening, lots of memories coming back of things I wanted to forget. I had a few therapy sessions with a doctor and he said I need to parent myself. I need to be the mother to the little girl inside me that is screaming to be loved.

I need to take a break...tears...

My parents loved me in their own way, I suppose. Even now it comes with conditions at least from my father. My mom and I have come a long way but we are still very far. I know where she came from, I know my grandmother, so my mom was ridiculed and belittled her whole life, my grandmother just stopped bringing up every mistake my mom has made a few years ago. In that respect my mom did better than what she had...
Babies need to bond with their caretaker, they need to feel loved and secure. They need to know when they cry someone will pick them up and hold them and talk to them  and find out what they need. It is vital to healthy attachments later in life.

I have kept people at arms length my whole life. It is very hard for me to love and trust completely because I've been hurt so much for so long. I need to find a way to nurture my inner child, she is in there somewhere and once in awhile I do feel like that scared little girl hiding in the closet. She didn't last long though, she turned into a cold hearted bitch and that worked for her for several years.

Now she is vulnerable, feeling things she doesn't want to feel, real emotions that make her sad, hurt, alone, misguided, pissed off, damaged...

I am damaged goods and it sucks to say  that but I think it's true...

I just had a breakthrough in the tub that I will leave for a part 2...

One thing about having had therapy, I can also do it myself, it's not quite as effective but I learn new things and it's much cheaper.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011


a state of equilibrium or equipoise; equal distribution of weight, amount, etc.
something used to produce equilibrium; counterpoise.
mental steadiness or emotional stability; habit of calm behavior, judgment, etc.
These are the first 3 entries at

I am not a balanced person literally, figuratively or physically, mentally etc...
I think that society shoves this at us, we must be a jack of all trades and master of none. We must have exposure to everything. School promoters want us to be well rounded, have a well rounded education.
having desirably varied abilities or attainments.
desirably varied: a well-rounded curriculum.
fully developed; well-balanced.

Well balanced , LMAO! 

So yes I do need my hormones to get in balance, but what if I can't? I've tried lots of things and what I'm on now does help. I still have certain days where I am all over the place. I've been quite freaky today. I chart my *symptoms* by day of cycle, there is a pattern. I don't always write things down, my husband knows me well and when I start having certain symptoms he says *Yep it's that time* he doesn't know what day I'm on but he knows.... 

In my regular non hormonal life(if there is such a thing) I am extreme, I love you or I hate you, I'm pissed off or I'm fine, I eat too much or not enough, I drink too much or not at all, I swear  too much or make up really fucked up words trying not to swear. My kids get a giggle out of that. I drop things, I break dishes, I am not graceful. I like my music loud, I like to drink, I like to swear. It is the real me.
Moderation is not my thing!

the quality of being moderate; restraint; avoidance of extremes or excesses; temperance.

So love me  or hate me I really don't care but I gotta be me! I do not like to be restrained or controlled so back the fuck off!

I'm getting myself back, I got lost somewhere along the way. 

That is why I say you unschool or you don't. People think there is a gray bar, really I know there is a progressive line but you either do or don't, it's so simple in my mind...

Unschooling is the way, it is the key to getting back a society of free thinking people. Our children are the next generation so lets not fuck them up!

Any questions??????????

Monday, January 17, 2011

Physical growth

My kids are growing up on me!

Kieran (15) 5'7
Brennan (12) 5'7 1/2
Cassandra (11) 5'1 1/4
Jared (8) 4'5 1/4

Saturday, January 15, 2011

More Rockin

I forgot to mention My Darkest Days

We saw them with Evans Blue.

They put on a hell of a show!
Excellent band!

Friday, January 14, 2011


Jason and I have gone to 3 concerts the last few months. It's awesome to hear live music, just awesome!

Our kids are finally old enough that we can leave for a few hours and not have to worry.

It's bittersweet.

We have only gone out a few times in the last 15 years, we just didn't leave the kids and didn't really have anyone to leave them with.

We have seen Evans Blue and  Framing Hanley and we have seen several local bands and one that opened for Framing Hanley I absolutely love. We have seen them twice now, they are Adalene 
I'm listening to their CD right now, we bought it at the last concert.

I love rock music, rock on!

Random about me

I used to blog a lot about unschooling, public school, parenting, politics etc... I kind of went in a hole the past two years.

I've been dealing with a lot of personal issues coming up from childhood and hormone, anxiety and blood pressure issues to name a few. We also dealt with unemployment and moved a year ago.

I want to get back into being out there and saying what's on my mind.

I've been to many doctors, I've had many tests, I kind of know a bit about what my body needs but it's hard to stay on supplements and good food, it costs a lot of money.

I'll be 40 later this year and I really want to have all of this shit figured out, I want to be healthy and feel good and have some sort of balance.

I was thinking though, I am an extreme person so maybe balance isn't all it's cracked up to be.
I'm quite fun and interesting with my hormonal swings... Except when I cry for no reason, that's not fun...

Yesterday I was feeling really off, I mean usual. My husband says it's your hormones, roll with it, some people take drugs to feel what you are feeling...

I'm a bit better today but I had a blood pressure spike at 8 am that woke me up... I'm erratic still, I'm on meds that I want to get off, so fixing what is causing this would help.

I'm way better than I was a year ago, I was having serious issues, I don't remember if I blogged about it here, it was probably on my private blog. Anyway if I look back I can see how much better I am.

I've also lost about 22 pounds the past few months, that makes me happier, I still would like to drop another 20,  if it happens, it happens.


Well technically it's yesterday because it's after midnight. My day starts and ends when I sleep and wake and has little to do with the time or calendar...Oh the life I live :)

So I just had wine and a hot bath, I'm temporarily warm, it's 13 degrees out, nuff said.

School has been cancelled this week, I know that in states where it's usually cold and snowy they don't get out of school but here in middle TN they do.

My daughter went to her friend's house today and when I talked with the mom she said she hopes they go back to school tomorrow.

She said *I don't know how you do it* They eat all day etc... How do I do IT? I know them and I guarantee they are driving her crazy and she only has 2 kids.

She isn't the first person to say that to me in the last 15 years. I choose to do it, that is HOW I do IT!

So I've been away from this for awhile now because my kids needed me... Makes it hard to remember what the hell I was saying...

I choose to be with my kids, it's that simple. I want to be with my kids, I want to be here, they want to be here. School was never an option and still isn't, school doesn't exist in our lives.

I can't imagine being the parent who can't wait for school to start, it's sad and wrong and sad...

I had more but it will wait until next time.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011


I may not blog about anything profound again until I can defrost! I am so cold!

I just went to the store and the wind chill just went right through me.

I was not made for this weather.

I thought I moved South but shit that is out the window.

I know I can't control the weather and it sucks that the weather affects me.

I'm trying not to let it get to me, most days I don't have to go anywhere, so I got that going for me.

I freeze in the house too, I just can't stand to be frozen.

My feet are numb.

Coffee just warmed me up, mostly, it hasn't reached my feet yet...

Not really bitching just stating my dislike for freezing my ass off!

I don't like it when it's 100 out either!

But this is absurd and not normal temps.