Thursday, January 31, 2008

What is your plan?

I watched most of the CNN GOP debate tonight, while I was disapponted that Ron Paul barely got a word in that isn't the issue. Huckabee has a good sense of humor, McCain is a liberal and in the wrong party and Romney stands for a lot of what I agree with but Ron Paul is the only candidate that believes in the constitution and will work on shrinking the government and not making it bigger.

One question was something like this, "What is your plan to help those with bad credit and can't pay their mortgages due to the ARM"s ?"

This is one of the many problems we face in this country. Too many people look to the government to solve their problems. This is not the government's problem just like so many things aren't.

People look to the government to take care of them and fix their problems. This has been developing for years and I believe that the public school system has a hand in this. It has been dumbing people down for too long. Certain people in the government (and the media) also make it clear that we are too stupid to think for ourselves and need them to tell us what to do.

It is not the government's fault that you have bad credit and can't pay your mortgage, it's not their fault that you signed on the dotted line. ARM's have caused a lot of financial trouble for many companies and individuals. I saw that Countrywide went bankrupt, they carried our last mortgage, Bank of America is buying them.

This should not be a question posed to presidential candidates, my gosh take some responsibility for your actions.

I speak from experience here, due to circumstances that were out of our control we have had a bad financial year. Our credit has gone from very good to very bad and we are having a hard time paying bills BUT we are not looking to the government to come bail us out.

We can NOT run away from our problems and expect that Big Brother will take care of us. We need to take care of ourselves and be responsible for our own actions. This country would be so much better off if people were responsible and not looking for entitlements. Oh by the way I hate that politically correct term. Why are you entitled to sit on your ass and get a hand out while my husband has to work his ass off for less???

You want to know where that came from? When we lived in CA, we knew people who were getting welfare and they got more money than Jason made working. This was before the system was changed in CA but it is still relevant.

I am so sick of big government, please people don't let it get bigger. We can change things, it won't be easy but it will be worth it.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

It's all good

Oh my gosh... did she just write about hormones again???? I wish she would get over it already!!!

I'm so over it!! Well I could have written about politics or public school or illogical parenting...

You want positive?

My husband fixed my bathroom, woohoo I can flush!!! He also came home from work and cooked dinner.

My house is pretty clean, my kids are happy and healthy and pretty darn cute and smart I might add.

It's all good :)


I have had a day! I am on the verge of flo and I don't know if I'm coming or going, I am a trian wreck waiting to happen. I have about 10 new ailments today, I'm not kidding, it's really ridiculous.

Jason was laughing at me then he told me he didn't want to hear about another pain and to get over myself. Gotta love him he tells me what I tell everyone else :)

I'm trying to work with it instead of against it, I gotta feel what I feel and go through the motions. I hate stupid stuff and I swear every stupid thing happens when I am hormonal.
Sometimes I just jump up and down, I'm serious it releases a lot of pent up crap.

The remedy I have been on for the past month is supposed to work on this, it's a main remedy for menopausal women and hormone related issues. I swear that everything is related to my cycle, I revolve around it. Jason can tell by my behaviour what time of the month it is, I'm really wild mid-cycle too :)

It's just been one of those stupid days...

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

I got my sign

Jason went to RP headquarters in Nashville, he walked in and asked for a sign for his wife, LOL! The guy asked him, *What about you* Jason is undecided after Fred dropping out.
I'm voting for FREEDOM!

Kids Club

It's not what you think, or is it, how do I know what you think?

The neighbors were here today, we haven't seen them in a week, this is very rare. I thought maybe it was the cold weather.

I asked them where they have been after school and W said *kids club*, I'm like "What is that?"

It's an afterschool program where we get to do our homework and then play in the gym after everyone leaves. I said *OH really, is that fun* He said * Yeah I like it*
I was asking if it was everyday or just when his parents were at work. He told me it is some days and that his mom works at kids club now.

His mom has changed jobs 3 times in the past few months. I swear my personality is just screaming *STAY HOME AND TAKE CARE OF YOUR KIDS WOMAN!!!!!!!

I know we all make choices but these kids go to school against their will, I have blogged about this before. I have not had an open door to say something and we are polar opposites in parenting. Jason lost it tonight, it was 52 degrees today the warmest it's been in a few weeks. Cassie wanted to play outside, it was like 6pm, J went home and came back and said that her mom said that she can't play outside because it's cold. BWHAA!!!!!! They can't play in the rain or get dirty either, and when it's hot, no sprinkler, can't get wet, dear God I may have to do laundry...

This was not supposed to be a rant on stupid parenting, I've done my share of those. But really folks is this logical, hell no! I am a logical person and stupid shit just doesn't fly with me. My husband is so much in line with me it is awesome !

Monday, January 28, 2008


"If I had a normal childhood, I would have nothing to write about"

Sidda Lee Walker ~ Divine Secrets of The Ya-Ya Sisterhood

I love this and it rings so true for me, I have so much to deal with and recover from that I may never run out of things to say.

My kids are better off because of my upbringing, because I vowed to never treat them the way I was treated.

About me 54, Unschooling 44

We have a bit of an imbalance here in my labels :)

Unschooling used to be the top label hands down, I guess I'm talking about myself too much.
Well you know the world revolves around Stephanie, NOT, LOL!!! I totally know it doesn't, like when I don't feel good stuff still needs my attention, the world does not stop when I'm sick or would be nice if it did once in awhile. Man I was sooo tired today and I had such a headache, I stayed up way too late, had a few drinks and absolutely no coffee for 3 days. Oh and I'm pre- menstrual, I bet you are glad you don't live with me :)

No, seriously all I wanted was a nap... Someday my kids may cut the cord but not yet, Jared can't go without touching me for 5 minutes, well either can Jason for that matter, ha ha!

I finally had a cup of coffee and it was SOOOOOO good, I'm a coffee addict I admit it. I do not remember how I went 10 months without coffee last year, I really did... I guess I'm too much of a wimp, by day 3 my head is pounding and I am not willing to withstand it YET. Thank God I don't have to give up wine :)

OK this was supposed to NOT be about me LOL!

Let's see my kids are awesome and they learn everyday, I know that is generic!

Kieran is my military buff, today he started a new online game and he also did some target practice because it was above freezing outside.

Brennan is working on his new Runescape guy I believe he is a Skiller, he had me switch him to a member.

Cassie plays on Club Penguin and talks to her friends on the phone and draws and uses her imagination... She plays with the piggies and always has very grown up questions to ask me. She is working on reading, I have been asking her what she thinks it says before I tell her because I have learned that she can read more than she thinks she can.

Jared reads, writes and never stops talking or creating or imagining or building.

I am learning about the election process and homeopathy and internet stuff and Jason was working on my bathroom today. I will definitely post more about that when I actually have a bathroom I can use. I will be queen again!!!

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Awesome song

I don't know if anyone loves Nickelback as much as Jewls and me but this song is awesome.

From underneath the trees, we watch the sky Confusing stars for satellites I never dreamed that you'd be mine But here we are, we're here tonight

Singing amen I, I'm alive(i'm alive)Singing a-amen I, I'm alive

[CHORUS]If everyone cared and nobody cried,
If everyone loved and nobody lied,
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride,
Then we'd see the day, when nobody died
And I'm singinga-amen I,amen, I,
I'm aliveamen I amen I, amen I,
I'm alive
And in the air the fireflies
Our only light in paradise
We'll show the world they were wrong
And teach them all to sing along
Singing amen I, I'm alive (I'm alive)Singing a-amen I, I'm alive

And as we lie beneath the stars,We realize how small we are,If they could love like you and me,Imagine what the world could be

[CHORUS (X2)]We'd see the day, we'd see the day When nobody died
We'd see the day, we'd see the day When nobody died
We'd see the day when nobody died


The best thing about PMS is that my house gets cleaned! YAY!!!
Today I was having a moment that has nothing to do with cleaning but with one of my child's emotional issues.

Jason got me aside and told me to get out of my panties, that is of course to unwad them :)

He played me one of my favorite songs and tried to get me to laugh. The whole time I kept telling him that I NEED to vacuum and clean the toilet. He said is this what has become of us you need to vacuum and clean the toilet????

I just lost it, I laughed so hard, I needed that, I need to just live and let go...
Then after I laughed my head off I said "can I go vacuum now?"

So I cleaned and it felt so good, man I love to vacuum... Yeah I know I'm twisted but it's all good.
Embrace those hormones they serve a purpose :)

I get intense, passionate, vocal, on my rants, on my soapboxes and I get a clean house. Oh and I'm pretty damn funny too!


I want to participate in February's Unschooling Voices. One of the topics is an unschooling manual for a newbie. I wrote a post back in November that I think is pretty good. I'm thinking about submitting it, it's not really a how to unschool but is there such a thing? The only rule is that there are no rules.

What do you think?

Is Unschooling Right for you


I am done trying to change myself. Today I was telling Jason that I'm done trying to be something I'm not. I don't know what my problem is, I have that slight perfectionist streak in me...ok it's more than slight. I am so gung ho on doing everything right, I don't want to screw up my kids or disappoint anyone. Somehow I have come to have these ideal images and expectations of myself that are really unattainable. I have no idea how I got to this point, well I have some idea when I look over my life.

Why don't I think I am good enough? Jason said he thinks I'm good enough and he has a pretty good judge of character so what does that say about his judgment? I told him he is right and I have to accept who I am and enjoy being me. Over the years I have gone through many stages of growth and development and I see that my true self has never changed. I am me, I am the person God created, I am wonderfully made, I'm done denying it, I am worthy.

So I am not hiding myself under some false pretenses or political correctness, or anything. It seems that those 10 years in the Church of Christ I really tried to change myself. I questioned many preachers, I made statements, I tried to be heard but amid all of those jumpers and uncut hair we can lose ourself. So no more of that, I am not afraid to be me, at least I don't think I am...

I can be wild, I can be freaky, I can be FUN!!!! It's time to let go of the crap that is holding me down and be true to myself. I am FREE!

Thanks for being my therapeutic sounding board :)

Enough about me...

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Unconscious Mutterings

  1. Booze :: Wine
  2. Counter :: Kitchen
  3. Action :: Pirates Of the Caribbean (just watched the 3rd one)
  4. Trial :: Brethern Court
  5. Wheelchair :: parking
  6. 1-800 :: eat my shorts
  7. Chop :: celery and carrots (That's what the piggies eat)
  8. Relatives :: far far away
  9. Bed sheets :: soft and silky
  10. Funnel :: oil change
Luna Nina

Friday, January 25, 2008


Trying to give up coffee just plain sucks!!!!

My homeopath strongly suggests that I go back off of coffee, she said to just have it once in awhile as a treat.

I have been trying, I go a few days but the migraines are horrendous so I have a cup of java.

I do drink tea, green and white and I have tried to increase it to match the caffeine level. I guess I just need to keep trying.

My head is pounding today due to lack of sleep and I had two cups of tea earlier, no help.


The forces are against me

Getting any sleep, not really but it sure seems that way.

You know I have a hard time falling asleep as it is, but once I am asleep I seem to get woken up constantly. It takes me so long to fall back to sleep, it's a vicious cycle. I need to sleep, preferably 8 hours, in a row would be heavenly I don't think I've done that since I was pregnant with Kieran, boy did I sleep a lot...

Example, this is last night, I went to bed at 1:30am, I am trying to go to bed earlier that 4am :)

I was still awake at 3:30am, got up to pee, then the next thing I knew it was 5:46am. Then Cassie woke me up at 8:3o claiming she couldn't sleep. Well either can I!!!!!!

She tried to go to bed last night because today she went over to her friend's house and she needed to get up before 2:00pm. She had a hard time going to sleep, well duh she is my child. She was asleep about the time I went to bed.

Anyway she woke me up, she was hungry, I was cranky... Then I fed her and we both tried to go back to sleep. As I lay in bed feeling extremely lousy, that time of morning is my absolute worse. I'm not one of those people that can get up then I have to go back to sleep or my whole day is shot.

Around 9:00am the dogs start barking, guess who has to let them out? Then the internet went out, I stream music all night, I can't sleep without it, so I had to fix that, oh and adjust the curtain cause the light was peeking in.

I think I fell asleep somewhere around 10:00am then the dogs were barking again at 11:00am and I ignored them as long as I could.

So I figure that I got about 5 hours of sleep during this fiasco I call my night.

It is typical for several things to wake me up several times a night. It is a wonder that I am fairly sane, I said fairly :)

Thursday, January 24, 2008

My Space

I haven't been blogging cause I'm playing with my space :)

I'm tired and got a sinus thing too.

It is still freakin cold here.

Watched some of the debate tonight.

Contemplating about our economy and government and primaries and elections and delegates and taxes and researching it all has my head spinning...

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

An addition to the 19 years post

I'll try to keep it simple, LOL! I thought of two things that were said to me and I wanted to share them because they are funny and were true. In the process of remembering these little tidbits I was flooded with so many thoughts and memories of my past and that led me right to my present thoughts on my life and this country.

I know too much to process, I need a secretary or something, or in the least bit a tape recorder that I can talk into while I'm in the tub. As you all now my best stuff comes through my mind in the tub then most of it goes down the drain. Man that sucks!

One of my very dear friends in high school named Scott once said to me that I treat men(well I guess they were boys but always older than me) like I treat my cigarettes, I light them up, smoke them, then throw them away. I have to admit that his observances were first hand...

When I first moved to Lockport, NY I was 14 and full of serious rebellion, lack of respect, understanding or even feeling like I was a valid person. My dad who did not see me since I was 11 had his work cut out for him. It took me a few years to trust him and then realize that I had to earn his trust and respect. One of my life lessons that I will never forget and may elaborate on someday.

Of course if I had a normal childhood I may not have been so passionate about my own parenting...

No scratch that idea, my mom said I came out kicking and screaming and I haven't shut up since. In other words I never have nor do I plan on taking people's shit. I have always stood up for myself and what I believe in, surprised huh?

I can't believe the people that I hear say that since they had to endure school and they HAVE to go work at a job they hate, that they put their own kids through the same BS. It is totally baffling to me... Well I had to suffer damnit so do you, I want you to learn from an early age that life's a bitch then you die!

Oh my gosh I feel sorry for those kids and those people. We were all exposed to the dumbing down but not all of us reacted the same. I know that most people reading here are like me, they are out of that box, they never fit, they don't want their own kids to be succumbed to the mindless drones of the masses. We are separate, we are still free last I checked, there is hope. I tell you if I had the money I would be handing out Holt and Gatto books at the corner, not kidding. Do NOT put your kid in school, let them have a mind of their own, let them choose their path.

OK I can babble... I told Jason the other day that I need someone to talk to because he knows me so well and I don't say anything that shocks him...

Back to what my dad said the night I went out with Jason . He always told me that I change boyfriends like I change my underwear, and for the record it was once a day and sometimes twice :)

You guys will love this, I was such a busy person that I didn't have time to do laundry. My dad and stepmom weren't going to do it, I was 17 after all. So I had a job, I had my own money, I bought underwear every week, I am not kidding, I bought new outfits too... sheesh who has time for laundry when they are in school all day working after school and weekends and partying as much as possible??

My dad was sick of meeting guys that never came back. So Jason pulled up to get me and came to the door, my dad was upstairs and I went and got him. He said "Am I ever going to see this one again?" I said yes dad you will most definetly see this one again :)

We got in the car, Jason turns to me and says "I'm bringing you home EARLY" My dad is a big man and can look intimidating and Jay was a skinny white boy...

But daddy walked me down the aisle 4 years later :)

Monday, January 21, 2008

19 years ago today

It's official, Jason and I have been together for 19 years, wow, I'm 36 so that seems like a really long time for someone my age.

We actually met when I was 16, I was dating a friend of his and I actually hung out with his girlfriend on occasion.

Then we met again a year later because he was dating my best friend(totally not compatible) that didn't last long. Here is the kicker at that time I started dating his best friend, I didn't know it at the time but then the 4 of us started hanging out.

I was still in school and I worked afternoons and he was 19 and worked full time day shift. Our friends worked nights so we just started hanging out together. We became the best of friends, the other dating came to a halt.

One night we were at a party and he was in the kitchen talking to some guys, I walked in and kissed him and the rest is history.

If you know what you want go for it, I did :)

Jason is still my very best friend, we have an awesome marriage, we have grown up together, well he hasn't actually grown up :)

We have grown together, not apart, 19 years and growing strong!

The picture is at his cousin's wedding just a few months after we started dating.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Unconscious Mutterings

  1. President :: Fred or Ron

  2. Stare :: leer

  3. Embrace :: natural learning

  4. Movie :: The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood (Cassie and I have watched this a few times this week)

  5. Everything :: I want it all and I want it NOW

  6. Profile :: Criminal Minds (love that show)

  7. Satire :: Naked Gun

  8. Erratic :: My mind

  9. Costume :: party

  10. Secretary :: paperwork

Luna Nina

It is freakin cold

I am freezing here in the south. It is 15 degrees and feels like 4, at least that is what they say. I don't think it matters, they could just say it's freakin cold.

At least it won't last too long, just another day. I do not like it cold, I hated winters in PA, months of cold and snow...yuck.

I need a nose warmer and a foot warmer and an everything in between warmer :)

I'll be taking a hot soak soon and ponder my thoughts...

Saturday, January 19, 2008

I found it! Political nature

I found my birth certificate and my voter registration card!!! I only had to dig in my closet a little bit :) Of course I still need to actually go to the TN DMV with my proof of birth(like I'm not real) and my 2 forms of residence and my social security card and my PA license... to actually get my TN license. I can vote in the primary, I registered to vote in Oct 06, you don't need a TN license to register to vote, scary huh???

This post is a hodgepodge, I have had so many thoughts swirling through my head I hope I can get a few down. I want to thank all of you who have left comments, I appreciate you more than you know. It's also really good to know that unloading dirty dishes isn't that uncommon, LOL!
Sometimes I write and don't get any comments and I think I must have offended someone or did not relate to anyone.

I still have the business of deciding who to vote for. I really have never delved too much into politics but this election has me learning and researching.

If anyone wants to discuss issues I am open... to a point. I will not vote for a socialist. BUT I still love you bloggers who lean liberal, I mean you unschool and I read what you write :) I will not be swayed in that direction.

I am actually a Libertarian, I want very little government, I do not want to lose any more civil liberties. Our freedoms have been stripped so gradually, it is ridiculous, there are many republicans used to the handouts now. Oh the government will take care of me, I'm entitled. Bullshit!!! We have not had health insurance for at least 4 years now, we can't afford it. We barely survive on one income BUT I do not want the government giving me hand outs. We can help each other, we can help ourselves, we have the power within us for greatness. NO more dumbing down, no more public schooling, no more entitlements, get off your ass and do something.

Not that it really matters but my mom was a single mom who worked two jobs to support 3 kids. I heard some comment the other day maybe Huckabee said it about appealing to the single moms. My mother did everything in her power to keep us off of welfare, we did need it for a short period of time but that is what it is designed for, a stepping stone. Anyway my mom has never voted liberal to my knowledge. My dad on the other hand is as liberal as they come :)

I am all for abolishing the IRS and the NEA, lets get rid of the ACLU too. I don't believe in speed limits or drinking ages, am I scaring you now??? I think that schools should be like libraries, I believe that people should be responsible for their own actions.

The Government has no right to tell me how to educate my kids or tell me which lightbulbs to use or to take away my right to buy health supplements... Just to name a few. There are many issues these days that should not be federal issues such as abortion, health care and education. I will not vote for the RINO's (republican in name only) either... That leaves two candidates and I keep learning what I can about them and will continue to educate myself.

I hope that everyone is educating themselves and not just believing one source for anything.
This is who I am, I do not take anything at face value, I will find out the truth I will not be swayed otherwise.

I'm tired.

Friday, January 18, 2008

I tried something new

Today I decided to be positive, to not say what I thought if it was condescending in any way, especially to my children. I really do try to model helpful, kind behaviour by the way. Jason says I mother them too duh, I am their mother :)

I decided to put on a new attitude, one of positiveness and joy, not my usual realistic self. Today went very well there were no outbursts until tonight when I believe Cassie had too much artificial stuff and couldn't contain herself...

Yesterday I mentioned to Kieran that at any given moment someone in this house can and does spontaneously combust.

I am sick of complaining and worrying and feeling lousy. I do not sleep very well , so why do I keep forcing it? I have been going to bed early all week, yes like between 12 -2am, that does not mean sleeping, I'm still awake until at least 4 am and sometimes later. I hear every little thing, I blame that on motherhood because as a teen my dad would say that the house could burn down and I'd sleep through it.

Since becoming a mom, I hear everything, I don't have babies anymore my kids actually sleep through the night now...finally, so why oh why can't I????

So back to what I was saying, I was trying to tell Jason that today I decided to do something different, you know reap what you sow, Law of attraction, think positive, speak positive, be positive, yadda yadda yadda...

In the course of telling him this I (We) came to the conclusion that I am trying to be something I'm not, LOL!!! He goes so how is that working for ya??? I want to be all of those wonderful things, joyful, loving, peaceful, positive, but it's not natural or easy for a realist like me. So basically I am trying to be something I'm not...

The new Stephanie folks, watch out she will put you in your place with a smile on her face :)

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Is it just me or what?

I get sidetracked and go from one thing to the next, while this can be a good thing with 4 kids and learning through living it can also cause some stupid stuff.

Case in point, I just started to unload the dishwasher, I had the bottom rack done and got to the silverware and then realized that they were DIRTY!!!!!!

I do rinse my dishes well but there was something on a knife and made me go back and take all the dishes out of the cupboard that I just put in there. I mean my gosh I don't think I've ever done that.

I do things all the time like forget I'm boiling water or start something and get called away to help a kid and then completely forget about it. Until something triggers it...

I used to blame this stuff on pregnant brain, then breastfeeding, I figure my kids sucked my brains right out of me :)

So now what is my excuse???

I just have a lot going on all at once, in my head and in my house :)

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

It's trivial...

But important...

This election is obviously a very crucial one, we have our primary Feb. 5th. I do not think I have ever voted in a primary, don't know why I guess I didn't feel the importance before.

So I can't find our voter registration cards, of course I put them somewhere safe, this would be why I can't find them. I have looked in all the places I would put important papers. Since we are still living with boxes I really hope it's not in my closet...

I also need to get my TN driver's license before then, yes I've been here since March 2006 :)
That is a pain in itself, I have to prove that I'm white, LOL! TN has immigration issues, not going there right now.

On top of that I literally can't decide between two candidates, it is so important if I could morph them into one well that would solve my problem.

Monday, January 14, 2008

"I did not learn"

Jared has been reading more and more each day. Just tonight he was lining up his hot wheels and reading the sponsors. This one is cheerios, chex, bad boy, reeses, mom why does this say polar power? Mom why can I read these words?

I said well you just learned how to read. I did not learn, what did I do homework or something? I didn't learn I just know how to write and spell and read that's all, I just know how.

Out of the mouths of babes:)

I did not learn, I just know how.

I love it!

Learning happens, you can't deny it!

Punching Power

Create your band and title and album cover.

I got this meme from Kelli

1. The first article title on the page is the name of your band.
2. The last four words of the very last quote is the title of your album.
3. The third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover. You then take the pic and add your band name and the album title to it, then post your pic.

Punching Power

Lead people through the dark (I know it's 5 words)

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Baby Photo Contest

I had a hard time choosing one picture but all the kids liked this one.

Emily has put up a photo contest.

Unconscious Mutterings

  1. Dream big :: The sky's the limit

  2. Competition :: sports

  3. Torn :: between two presidential candidates

  4. Modeling :: mindful parenting

  5. Coaster :: glass

  6. Slut :: a girl in highschool

  7. Spread :: butter

  8. Amanda :: Chambers

  9. Romance :: The Notebook

  10. Paradise :: My own little island, not really...

Luna Nina

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Beautiful Winter Day

We went to the park today and had a great time. It was sunny and probably around 55 degrees. Here are my little explorers.

This is a creek that runs along the back of the park.

The kids had a blast in this truck.

There's Brennan.

This picture is blurry because the camera focused on the trees but I included it anyway.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Why do some of us feel stress and internalize it and get ill, or externalize it and be mean. Why do some of us just relax and let things roll off our backs?

No worries mate!
Don't worry, be happy!

I am the type of person that can worry, I try not to, I am concerned, I want to know what will happen and how it will happen and when it will happen, yeah I know that isn't possible.

I am a realist, I call it like I see it, I'm honest, forthright, I do not have my head in the clouds. At the same time I have been trying to be more positive, this is what we have and we have an abundance. I am trying not to dwell on the problems or what we don't have. I am trying to keep my chin up and be faithful. I believe that God will provide the way, he ALWAYS does, not always in my time frame, well what is in my time frame??? I want answers now, I am not the most patient person, which is funny because so many people tell me I have patience when they see me with my children. I sure don't have enough, I want it all and I want it now. Patience is not a virtue it's a pain in the ass, it is hard and long and not something I am good at.

When I ask for someone to do something, I expect them to do it now... Which is why I am a terrible delegator, I just as soon do everything myself than ask for help BUT when I ask(it means I need it) I expect it.

These are trying times, things are not hunky dory, I'm trying to be real here like my friend Julie has been lately.

Jason and I had a long talk tonight and he laid it out for me and I am taking it to heart, I have prayed a ton, I always do and God always comes through.

Anyway praying and trying not to worry are not enough for me, I can't help it, all it takes is one thing and then it's all down hill, a slippery slope. One thing leads to another and another, now I'm channeling The Fixx.

Give it to me straight, here it is, let's just say we lose everything, I mean everything, worst case scenario.

We will still have our family, we have US, who cares about the stuff, we have our family!

He is such a good man, I don't know how he puts up with me :)

Monday, January 07, 2008

Girl Stuff

The last two nights Cassie has wanted me to be in her room and talk about stuff...

We have covered a wide range of topics and played some tic-tac-toe and hangman too.

She has always been mature in areas, I don't even know if that is the right word, intellectually more aware of emotional type stuff...

OK she has always asked me questions that are far above her *age level* if you will, but it's what she needs. My poor husband says *Don't tell me, I don't want to know* LOL!
This is his only daughter, she has 3 brothers and a dad to protect her :)

Anyway now she wants me to watch the Ya-Ya's, I love the Ya-Ya sisterhood but I was trying to get us to bed sooner because we are meeting new friends tomorrow, well today :)

So I'm off for a bit of the movie then we shall head to bed.

Sunday, January 06, 2008

Unconscious mutterings 2

  1. Mist :: Niagara Falls

  2. Eating :: Pizza

  3. Beacon :: A duck

  4. Speaker :: phone

  5. Episodes :: Jared

  6. Conference :: Amway

  7. Sneak attack :: the kids playing army

  8. Medic :: alert

  9. Web :: internet

  10. 2008 :: prosperity

Luna Nina

Freedom in Homeschooling

Saturday, January 05, 2008

I Love the Internet

I love the internet for so many reasons...

Being unschoolers for one, we love having information at our fingertips, Google is our friend.

The latest thing I've been googling is caucus and primary, like in WTF are they :)

I don't know about you but I do not remember covering that in school and if we did it wasn't relevant to my life so I don't remember it. What really is relevant to a child's life at that time that it is covered in school anyway??? Well I digress not going on a public school rant.

I was talking with Kieran about how I am planning to learn whatever I can about the election process this year. We learned a bit 4 years ago and followed the election and charted some of it, I plan to go deeper this time. He is interested about the process and the candidates and where they stand on issues. He will just miss the next election, he'll be 17. The same thing happened to me, my first election was 1992, I voted for Ross Perot, you bet your sweey bippy, independant business man... I digress again...

This was not intended to be a political post, but I will say I am on the fence at this point and will continue to do the research. In case you care I will not be voting for the socialist, the baptist or the mormon (who has my maiden name, btw) That much I am sure of.

So what am I getting at I love the internet for all of the unschooling info and groups and cyber friends. I love the blogs and the articles, the sharing of unschooling lives and learning.

The internet has also brought me some real life friends as well. About 6 months ago we met an unschooling family that we love to hang out with. Now we are meeting a new family next week that literally lives about 6 miles from me. WOW! The internet is awesome, I would have not met these people otherwise, how could we? So we are excited to be seeing our friends tomorrow and meeting new ones next week :)

Thursday, January 03, 2008

My unsolicited advice of the day

Or night depending on when you read this :)

For those that may be sick of my hormonal rantings...well tough! This blog is about life and learning from it and that includes me. I always wonder is it still PMS when it's late!!! It just prolongs the process, hey at least my house is clean, yep, I've been nesting big time. It's probably more than my family can take though, I am in the cleaning mode.

So my advice is DON'Tcook while having PMS! That may sound odd but man I had a hell of a time making dinner. I told dh that at least we know I'm not pregnant because then I would be crying, bwhaaaa!!! Just so you know when I was preg with Kieran I burned a grilled cheese sandwich and bawled.

Tonight I decided to make breakfast for dinner, sounds easy enough, right? Not my specialty, I started with the syrup(we make our own) that went well, then I worked on home fries and pancakes. I had the wrong side on the griddle so it was the waffle side, with 8 pancakes you can't make waffles, LOL! I was so pissed, I scraped off what dough I could save and threw the rest away, wiped it off and tried to flip it, oh that was fun, it was hot and it didn't want to cooperate with me.

Then my home fries were mushy, so I put them in the oven, dh got home about then, right before I started the eggs. I was just uptight and thinking how stupid this was and that I shouldn't have bothered cooking...

Then we finally sat down to eat and everything was really good, dh and the kids loved it and I said I'm so glad it tastes good because the process was horrendous. Jason said sometimes it takes a tough process to heed good results(I'm paraphrasing but that was the jist)

Boy, isn't that the truth, it's the process that matters, whether painful or easy it's all in the journey, life is NOT a destination.

Just for the record, I CAN cook, but I only do it a few times a week, otherwise we just eat what we want. Once a week Omar cooks, he is our favorite pizza man in the area. I love pizza...yum...

I do not have that food of love thing, my dh does, that man can cook! I am too much of a perfectionist at times and just want things to go as planned and turn out right.

My whole life is that way, I want and expect one thing and a whole different thing happens but the outcome is still good.

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

What privileges did you have... meme

I saw this at Silvia's blog

I think this is pretty interesting and I wouldn't think of many of these things as really mattering. My parents are divorced and my life has been challenging, what I am today has nothing to do with these things before the age of 18. I can think of other things before 18 that contributed to me being who I am but not this stuff...

This exercise is based on one developed by Will Barratt, Meagan Cahill, Angie Carlen, Minnette Huck, Drew Lurker, Stacy Ploskonka at Indiana State University

The exercise's developers hold the copyright and have given permission for it to be posted, with links, on the Quakers and Social Class blog. They ask that those of us who participate in this blog exercise acknowledge their copyright, which I'm doing here.

If you cut-and-paste this exercise on your own blog, please leave a comment on the relevant post, pointing readers to your own post.

Copy and paste the list below into your blog (or as a comment in the relevant post), remove my own personal comments, and bold the items that are true for you.

Father went to college
Father finished college (after we were grown, he is now a teacher)
Mother went to college (while I was little)
Mother finished college (she is an RN)
Have any relative who is an attorney, physician, or professor
Were the same or higher [social?] class than your high school teachers (by then dad was also a teacher and I was living with him)

Had more than 50 books in your childhood home

Had more than 500 books in your childhood home
Were read children's books by a parent
Had lessons of any kind before you turned 18 (I can't remember)
Had more than two kinds of lessons before you turned 18
The people in the media who dress and talk like me are portrayed positively (huh?)
Had a credit card with your name on it before you turned 18
*Your parents (or a trust) paid for the majority of your college costs.
*Your parents or a trust paid for all of your college costs.
Went to a private high school
Went to summer camp
Had a private tutor before you turned 18
Family vacations involved staying at hotels
Your clothing was all bought new before you turned 18
Your parents bought you a car that was not a hand-me-down from them
There was original art in your house when you were a child
Had a phone in your room before you turned 18
You and your family lived in a single family house(for awhile while my parents were married)
Your parent(s) owned their own house or apartment before you left home You had your own room as a child (that varied depending on where we lived)
Participated in an SAT/ACT prep course(I took the test but don't remember doing any prep course)

Had your own TV in your room in High School
Owned a mutual fund or IRA in High School or College
Flew anywhere on a commercial airline before you turned 16
Went on a cruise with your family
Went on more than one cruise with your family
Your parents took you to museums and art galleries as you grew up
You were unaware of how much heating bills were for your family

*These two are edited because it was pointed out that the previous wording didn't clearly delineate between people who had their tuition paid for them and people who worked for their college expenses.

In the group exercise which was originally designed for college students, staff and faculty, everyone stands in a line and steps forward if any of these things are true for them.

If we were all in a big room, I would have taken 14 steps forward. How about you? How many would you have taken? How many steps will your kids have taken by the time they're 18 (or how many did they take before they turned 18)?

Notice that each of these are things that were given to you or provided for you rather than things you necessarily earned yourself. The exercise instructions note that just because you've taken a lot of steps doesn't mean that you haven't worked hard to get where you are. But perhaps consider the things you've had handed to you that others didn't have.

To participate in this blog game, copy and paste the above list into your blog, and bold the items that are true for you. If you don't have a blog, feel free to post your responses in the comments.

Unschooling Voices issue 11

Check it out :)