Thursday, January 10, 2008

Why do some of us feel stress and internalize it and get ill, or externalize it and be mean. Why do some of us just relax and let things roll off our backs?

No worries mate!
Don't worry, be happy!

I am the type of person that can worry, I try not to, I am concerned, I want to know what will happen and how it will happen and when it will happen, yeah I know that isn't possible.

I am a realist, I call it like I see it, I'm honest, forthright, I do not have my head in the clouds. At the same time I have been trying to be more positive, this is what we have and we have an abundance. I am trying not to dwell on the problems or what we don't have. I am trying to keep my chin up and be faithful. I believe that God will provide the way, he ALWAYS does, not always in my time frame, well what is in my time frame??? I want answers now, I am not the most patient person, which is funny because so many people tell me I have patience when they see me with my children. I sure don't have enough, I want it all and I want it now. Patience is not a virtue it's a pain in the ass, it is hard and long and not something I am good at.

When I ask for someone to do something, I expect them to do it now... Which is why I am a terrible delegator, I just as soon do everything myself than ask for help BUT when I ask(it means I need it) I expect it.

These are trying times, things are not hunky dory, I'm trying to be real here like my friend Julie has been lately.

Jason and I had a long talk tonight and he laid it out for me and I am taking it to heart, I have prayed a ton, I always do and God always comes through.

Anyway praying and trying not to worry are not enough for me, I can't help it, all it takes is one thing and then it's all down hill, a slippery slope. One thing leads to another and another, now I'm channeling The Fixx.

Give it to me straight, here it is, let's just say we lose everything, I mean everything, worst case scenario.

We will still have our family, we have US, who cares about the stuff, we have our family!

He is such a good man, I don't know how he puts up with me :)


Julie said...

Hi, Stephanie. Just wanted to say I'm also an organic dark chocolate fan, and I love the name of your blog!

kelli said...

Things are exactly where they need to be.

I keep telling myself that too :)

The unknown used to be so hard for me, but it's getting better, I do think practice makes perfect ;)

Deanne said...

I'm praying for you to find peace of mind. :)

justjuls said...

The other day - as clear as if God were in the room talking to me - I remembered that verse that says "what can man do to me?" There are things that only God can destroy - stripped of everything else - we still have that.
Thanks for keeping it real - phony sucks and it doesn't help anybody.

Sarah said...

It's okay to show your emotion and be true to yourself, Stephanie. It's wonderful how open you are with your blog and express your frustration, worries, mood with friends and the world. I'm praying for you and that you'll be comforted.

Sarah (the other me)

Jenny said...

Ooh, I used to love The Fixx! :)
Don't hear them much anymore, not even on the retro stations ...

jaci said...

I totally agree: patience is a pain in the ass. If only you knew how much you and I react to (internalize) worries. It's hard to make sense of reality and faith - we are so cognizant of the here and now and what we can see.

I was thinking the other day (about my own walk) that sometimes it is like walking with your eyes blindfolded. I tried that once when I was a kid and broke my toe. Makes it really hard to let god lead.

I'm adding you to my blogroll!