Friday, January 18, 2008

I tried something new

Today I decided to be positive, to not say what I thought if it was condescending in any way, especially to my children. I really do try to model helpful, kind behaviour by the way. Jason says I mother them too much..um duh, I am their mother :)


I decided to put on a new attitude, one of positiveness and joy, not my usual realistic self. Today went very well there were no outbursts until tonight when I believe Cassie had too much artificial stuff and couldn't contain herself...

Yesterday I mentioned to Kieran that at any given moment someone in this house can and does spontaneously combust.

I am sick of complaining and worrying and feeling lousy. I do not sleep very well , so why do I keep forcing it? I have been going to bed early all week, yes like between 12 -2am, that does not mean sleeping, I'm still awake until at least 4 am and sometimes later. I hear every little thing, I blame that on motherhood because as a teen my dad would say that the house could burn down and I'd sleep through it.

Since becoming a mom, I hear everything, I don't have babies anymore my kids actually sleep through the night now...finally, so why oh why can't I????

So back to what I was saying, I was trying to tell Jason that today I decided to do something different, you know reap what you sow, Law of attraction, think positive, speak positive, be positive, yadda yadda yadda...

In the course of telling him this I (We) came to the conclusion that I am trying to be something I'm not, LOL!!! He goes so how is that working for ya??? I want to be all of those wonderful things, joyful, loving, peaceful, positive, but it's not natural or easy for a realist like me. So basically I am trying to be something I'm not...

The new Stephanie folks, watch out she will put you in your place with a smile on her face :)

6 comments:

jewlsntexas said...

You go girl!
I don't know if I ever told you but I really really really wanted to name Kullen - Kieran - but my husband would have nothing to do with it. Said other kids would call him Karen - he had some "school" hang-ups I could never get him past. Ugh.
I LOVE that name!

Colleen said...

Ha! What a great realization! It's good to know yourself. :) Have you tried Rescue Remedy for sleeping? I guess they also have some flower remedies specifically for sleeping but Rescue Remedy works fine for me...

Tina H. said...

Old dogs can't learn new tricks. I give up. It's why I never make resolutions. Ha!!

Grace Walker said...

Stephanie, the way you are is why I admire and respect you so much. I love the passion you show and how real and down-to-earth you are. It takes courage to be true to that.

*hive five* Way to go!! :o)

Radical Unschoolers Live in FREEDOM said...

Acknowledge the truth of reality, take what is offered or given, and receive willingly...As I am given life, one moment, one condition, one circumstance, one happening at a time...God's Life for God's children has to be a happening. It can't be any other way. Reality cannot be changed. It simply is. No amount of mind bending illusion creating will change it. The truth is the truth--it needs no defense. The only thing I, a human being, can do with reality is change my point of view, my perspective. Reality itself will remain unchanged.

Give yourself permission to be YOU!

Blessings,
Sarah
www.fairystitch.blogspot.com (the other me)

piscesgrrl said...

I don't know that trying to be something you're not is the problem per se... I mean, if you want to move in that direction, then it's good to 'practice' with intention when you can. But that also doesn't mean you can change overnight.

I know I would like to be more patient, more open, more positive.. and slowly, I get there...

I have a friend who swears that when she's feeling p*ssy, she forces herself to smile. The goofiness of it gets her laughing, and it shakes her out of her bad mood. Worth a shot?

I hope you find a way to get some sleep! Is it a hormonal thing? I've been working with a holistic doc to get my hormones in balance and it's done *wonders* for me in so many ways.