Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Can we just stay home?

We got home tonight and Jared said, "let's just not go anywhere again except the store and our friends' house."

Is it just us or do others feel cranky, tired and out of sorts when they are gone all day?

We went to girl scouts today, my first time driving there, yes it's freeway and stuff, it's not close.

It wasn't the driving, it was me, I felt all swirly inside and just plain off.

Cassie wanted to go because she hasn't gone in a few months and the siblings can go and play too. So my boys played with some other kids during the meeting.

My dear friend offered to have me follow her to her house which was close and then go home from there. That worked out well because I didn't want to drive in 5:00 pm traffic and there were a few accidents right near where I would have to go.

We hung out for a little bit talking about our hormones, it's not just me :)
It sure is great to have someone to talk to, she is awesome and our kids are good friends.

I felt really anxious today, all day, still do, I think this increased anxiety is hormone related too.

I'm back on my remedy and looking into starting something else next month.

I don't want to feel like this!!!

We are staying home tomorrow.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Unconscious Mutterings

  1. Thug :: Stupid Criminals, you know the big dumb guys that do the dirty work.

  2. Slurp :: With a straw

  3. Alley :: Kirstie

  4. Sweater vest :: Dork

  5. Targeted :: USA

  6. Snazzy :: slick, cool, rockin

  7. Oy! :: McSquizzy's tree (Open Season)

  8. Jury duty :: no thanks

  9. Low fat :: milk

  10. Responsibility :: Me
    Want to play? Luna Nina

Noticeable changes after kids go to school

Do any of you notice how kids change after they go to school?

I'm really seeing it lately in a neighbor friend. We moved here 2 years ago so I can see the difference. The behavior, the things they say, the things they say their teacher says.

It's just really annoying and disturbing. My daughter is getting annoyed with her and not wanting to play. It's so sad and so real and it's so damaging to little minds.

I have to referree more and more to make sure the lines of communication stay open between them. I feel like I am always talking about respect and kindness to other kids, it's like they don't get it. I know they don't get it...

*slaps herself upside the head*

School is no place for children, I can't say that enough.

What a Day

It started with Jared losing his first tooth, that was cool.

We were invited to a birthday party far far away...

I guess it's time to mention my fear/anxiety/dizziness with freeway driving and not knowing where I'm going.

I have many issues and this isn't one I can control but I am under advisement about it. Honestly it could have been so much worse, it has been worse, all in all I did OK.

Although I didn't sleep well and I had knots in my gut, I decided that I needed to do this for Cassie and probably for myself.

Kieran was supposed to be my wingman and give me directions as needed, he did ok but messed up a couple times.

On the freeway wasn't too bad except for when we went on a split and a big rig was coming over in my lane, that scared me.

I actually had some anxiety once we got off the freeway, and we still had miles to go and turns to make. I absolutely hate not knowing where I'm going. I'm like that with everything though, I want to know where, when, how and why before I do it, I know it's impossible, but hey I'm not easy.

It was afternoon and we were stuck in school slow down, you know 15 mph, well we were actually stopped and I was checking the map for our next street and the traffic moved but I wasn't paying attention. I realized it and hit the gas hard and then got whistled at from the crossing guard to slow down, I threw up my hands and said I'm sorry I don't know where I am.

I was highly flustered at this point and we missed a turn and went a little way before I turned around. Got my bearings and headed back to the turn and while looking for the right road went through a red light, well almost, I realized it was red halfway through and slammed on the brakes thus locking them up and skidding the brand new tires in the middle of the intersection. Thank God at this exact moment the light turned green so I kept going on my merry way.

At this point I was uttering profanities and saying that's it I'm never leaving the house again, it's just NOT worth it. I can be perfectly happy at home and never get on the freeway again or go anywere I've never been.
I know it sounds insane but you aren't ME and don't know how stressful this was/is.

We got there safely after 45 minutes of driving and we all had a very nice time. I had never met this family...why you ask? Cassie knew them from girl scouts,my friend took her when we didn't have a 2nd car. Now she wants to go back to girl scouts and now I have wheels so guess who is venturing out again next week...

My dear friend tells me it will get easier as I keep doing it, bwhaaa, what if I don't want to! I could so easily stay in my comfort zone, getting out of it is painful, but I did it and I will keep doing it.

Jason came over after work mainly because I had no idea how to get home.
It was good because we all got along and made new friends, we didn't leave until almost 8pm. Jason knew a different way out of there and it cut out 20 minutes so it took us about 25 minutes to get home.

I just want to point out that I do not have a fear of driving, I do it almost everyday but just close to home. I do not have a fear of driving fast, I actually quite like it, we drove 80 mph most of the way home, I dig that.

My issues stem from years of chronic stuff based on a car accident when I was 18. It is situation and circumstance and fear of the unknown, and physical things that make daytime traffic driving difficult.

So I faced my fears and it turned out fine.

One more thing when Jared comes in and says, "mom, Cassie got the whole kitchen wet" he isn't kidding...

Friday, April 25, 2008

For my 17 year old cyber mate

First off girlfriend you do not make life altering decisions while you are hormonal. From one PMS'er to another, it is hard enough trying to decide what to wear or eat, nothing looks good or feels right, nothing sounds good or tastes right, nothing is RIGHT right now.

You are not a senior in highschool full of stress about exams and college and moving out. You are an unschooler who happens to go to a co-op and is surrounded by schoolish people. Do not buy into the hype, you do not have to figure everything out right now before you turn 18.

I realize we are kindred spirits, you were born free and grown up and want to just live your life. Trust me I get it more than you could know.
You do not need college and you do not have to leave the nest if you aren't ready.

Take some time and really figure out what you want to do with your life, what direction are you heading? College may or may not be the answer...

I went to school, I took those tests, I went to college...BFD!
What a waste of precious time.
Unless you know what you want and how to get it, step back and evaluate.

I highly recommend that you read The Teenage Liberation Handbook and read Gatto's letter to his 17 yr old granddaughter. I'll send it to you it's to long to post here.

You have a job, keep working, save your money, buy a car...

Your parents want you to be happy and to find out what you love, what is your passion?

The ball is in your court you decide what move to make. Don't blame others it's your life, you decide which way to go. Your parents will help, I will help, call me or email me if you want...

I remember 17 like it was yesterday, I was totally career oriented and gung ho to get what I wanted...

Things change, life happens, live it now.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Texas snake

I love google, we just type in our query and the answer comes up. Last night we were looking up mayflies and mosquito eaters, I thought they were the same but they are not. It turns out what we call mosquito eaters are crane flies and my room was full of them last night.

Texas garter snake (picture from google images)in my backyard making my dogs go crazy. Kieran went out with a big stick and it was striking at the dogs. They chased it and it finally got away under our fence.
We get Texas ticks here and garter snakes, can't TX keep their own.


Scott Noelle does it again, he ends up in my inbox saying things that are very true at the right time.

Let's just say my household is out of whack, I could blame it on the moon...

Obviously I'm emitting stress and everyone else is feeling it and acting upon it.

Although I have made it quite clear that I am indeed cranky and it sucks to be in my skin I didn't want my family affected by it.

I have been doing my best to keep my cool and resolve issues and I'm doing pretty good. I just have this overall attitude of physical and mental crankiness. Everything and anything could bother me at any given moment and nothing at all could bother me because really it's just ME!!!

I am not comfortable in my skin right now so please DON'T touch me.

THE DAILY GROOVE ~ by Scott Noelle
The Canary In the Coal Mine ::

Long ago, miners avoided death by bringing canaries into the coal mines. The sensitive songbirds would react to small amounts of toxic gases, thereby alerting the miners to the invisible danger.In a way, our children provide a similar service.

We've been so conditioned to tolerate stress that we often fail to seek relief from it, but our sensitive children have no such tolerance. They often feel*our* stress before *we* do!

So when your child seems particularly irritable and reactive, it's a good idea to ask yourself whether s/he might be reflecting *your* stress. Check in with your body and emotions, and let yourself *feel*what's there. Seek the fresh air of soothing, stress-free thoughts, and then bless your child for keeping you in touch with your Inner Guidance.

Feel free to forward this message to your friends!(Please include this paragraph and everything above.)Copyright (c) 2008 by Scott Noelle

Tuesday, April 22, 2008


There is a new company called Revolution Money Exchange and it works like Paypal. They are promoting a $25 sign up and $10 for referrals until May 15.

I checked it out and it is legit, I just signed up, click on the banner at the top and it should take you to their site.

Monday, April 21, 2008

Ah hell...

Don't stop there, just keep cleaning, just keep cleaning...

Pretty soon the whole house is clean...

I'm done now, phew...

Caffeine is good stuff!

I'm the energizer Stephanie.

Sunday, April 20, 2008


Eating lots of dark chocolate and drinking coffee could cause a buzzing in the back of your head.

It could cause you to spin in circles.

It could cause your mood to change for the better.

It could cause you to fold the mountain of laundry that has been piling up all week.

It's real easy to put the clothes in the washer and dryer, it's folding and putting away that is the real work.

I would have taken a picture if I thought of it, the pile is gone.

Jason just walked in and said, "Well I see you put the chocolate and coffee to good use."

It was Green's and Black organic dark chocolate and organic coffee for my *green* friends :)

Oh My Gosh!

Let's just say my hormones are telling me something!

I am just feeling indifferent, cranky, restless, crampy, I want to do things but don't feel like doing them, I'm short and easily agitated, my house is a mess, I'm not nesting yet.

I just went and bought some more chocolate, I have some wine left.

If anyone cares, I actually slept last night, well this morning for you normal people.

I went to bed around 3:45 am and the next thing I knew it was 7:15 am and I was still on my back with my eye pillow on my eyes. This means that I didn't move for 3 hours, wow. I even went back to sleep. First real sleep all week :)

Of course it doesn't matter because I have PMS and everything is 10 times worse than it really is!

Really it's just me, I just feel pissy.

I hope I get a good idea to blog about, I do my best stuff when I'm hormonal.

Sleep is highly overrated

Forgive me if I have already blogged about this!

I have not slept all week, no I'm not kidding, I mean I fall asleep for a few and wake up or get woken up and can't go back to sleep.

It sucks, I think it is hormonal, I mean I don't sleep well as it is but it seems to be worse pre-menstrual.

It's like I am almost asleep and something keeps me from getting there, it's really ridiculous.

I'm tired, the other night I went to bed early, like midnight, my kids came in several times, dogs barked, I couldn't relax, oh then there was the earthquake...

I blamed the door rattling on Cocoa, poor dog.

I'm telling you the forces are against me, it's stupid, it's a wonder I function at the level I do.

Tonight Jason said I can sleep when I'm dead, so there you have it.

I'm alive and kickin and I just won't go down without a fight!

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Some kids can be cruel

Today we went to a birthday party for the neighbor girl, it was at McDonald's.

Everything was fine, I pretty much just observed and smiled and spoke a few words to a few people. I don't do well in this kind of environment so I was a little dizzy but otherwise fine. A little bored, a little tired, I'm an introvert and I just didn't put myself out there.

The reason I'm writing this is because my daughter was insulted.

I don't like stereotypes anymore than the next guy but this was typical public school behaviour.

We were getting ready to leave and I missed the incident, I must have been throwing away the garbage.

Cassie told me this as soon as we walked out the door.

When she was going to get her shoes a boy and her bumped into each other. He called her fat as he walked away from bumping into her.

She didn't say anything to him and I wish I would have seen it, now I know why she asked me to help her tie her shoes, it was so we could get out of there faster.

I started to write what he looked like but I deleted it, who cares about him, he hurt my daughter's feelings. I told her that this is pretty typical, kids are constantly insulting each other, it's how they survive.

It's wrong and it's sad and she has never been around kids that are just plain cruel. Well there was the time down the road but it wasn't directed at her.

I really could go on a rant about public school and the lack of parenting but you all know what I would say...

I just want my child to feel safe and not get a self image complex because of some stupid kid's comments.

Unconscious Mutterings

  1. Questioning :: Everything, I question everything.
  2. Immunity :: Unrealistic
  3. Online dating :: Interesting
  4. Calcium :: Carbonate
  5. Dressing :: Newman's Ranch
  6. Bucket :: Toys
  7. Stain :: Carpet
  8. Advanced :: Technology
  9. Dramatic :: My children
  10. Self-medication :: Hot bath, wine and chocolate

Want to play? Luna Nina

My grrlfriends will love this

I was taking a remedy that was helping my cycle, it actually did cut the duration of pain and stuff in half... For those that care it's called Lachesis.

I decided to stop taking it to see what the next period would be like.

Apparantly I've been exhibiting some hormonal tendencies lately :)

Tonight Jason asked me if I was still taking my remedy. I said no I stopped because I wanted to see how this month would be, he said, "Well I can TELL you what it will be like."

Gotta love him, he is honest and he knows me better than I know myself.
I am predictably unpredictable, I can be the same for 2 months and the 3rd month my body changes it up, I have no control over this by the way.

I am ME, that's for sure.

He brought me wine and chocolate :)

He is the bomb!!!

Friday, April 18, 2008


Jared is going through another growth phase, I'm not sure if it's physical or emotional, he already grew an inch this month.

He is getting upset and frustrated more often, it's like he was leveling out and now BOOM it's intense again.


Jared had several things on the board and he was explaining them, he told me it was college.

This is what Cassie wrote on the board.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008


Jared met a little boy that lives down the road today.

Jason went down and met the dad and they were talking and the little boy, who is 7, asked Jared what grade he was in.

Jared said, "what?"

He asked him again and said, "don't you go to school?"

Jared said, "No, I'm homeschooled, I don't go to prison."

The kid's dad chuckled according to Jason and so my husband told me this story.


I need to watch what I say and have a talk with Jared about not saying that to kids who have to go to school.

Unconscious Mutterings

  1. Silence :: What is that? Oh yeah that is when my internet shuts off and my music stops and I wake up. Yes, the silence wakes me up.

  2. Wall :: Brick, like talking to some people.

  3. Killed :: All the bad guys get killed.

  4. Wishful :: Thinking...

  5. Poodle :: Poor dog

  6. Sullen :: Sad

  7. Do not disturb :: Hotel door sign

  8. Philadephia :: PA

  9. Anticipation :: waiting in pure excitement or fear

  10. Sidewalk :: chalk

  11. Luna Nina


Doesn't always work...

Here is a real example that happened tonight.

Cassie and Jared were playing in the boys room and Kieran came in and wanted them out. He wanted to watch a new episode of a show he likes and they were playing.

They didn't want to leave because they were there first, they took everything out of the closet and were building some sort of fort.

Kieran wanted to watch tv in his room alone.

I offered different solutions but nobody budged. Cassie has her own room so I even offered to take everything out of her closet so they could play in it.

She didn't want that.

I asked Kieran if he could watch his show in her room or in the living room, we have 3 tv's and the other 2 were available.

He didn't want that.

I talked about respect, I talked about compromise I talked until I turned blue(ok I'm exaggerating a little)
I remained calm and I tried so hard to come up with a solution BUT nobody wanted a solution, they wanted what they wanted.

So running out of patience I played the trump card and said bottom line, it's Kieran's room and he doesn't want you in here so you have to get out.


Cassie and Jared left.

Cassie went in her room, not happy and turned on the TV and then left a minute and came back.

Jared goes in and sits on her bed and starts watching with her and then she starts saying she wants to be alone.

This was out of the blue he wasn't doing anything but sitting there.

So he said he didn't want to leave so she stormed out to the living room crying.

Jason calls, *Stephanie*

Yeah, I'm on it :)

I asked Jared if he could do something else so Cassie could be alone. At first he said no because he was just watching tv with her but then he said fine and went and played in another room.

She went in her room and within minutes was fine.

I spend a lot of time helping my kids communicate and usually we do come up with a solution that everyone agrees too, just not this time.

Everyone is fine now.

This was just another learning experience that I'm sure we will reference to in the future. We do that from time to time, remember when this happened and we did this?

Sunday, April 13, 2008

A quick thought

You know how we try to really say what we mean and speak literally about learning. For example unschoolers don't teach they facilitate...

Quoting Sandra Dodd here:

" The question about how to research something sounds to me pretty schooly.

I know it might not be what was thought, but it was the way it was stated, and I'd like to riff on that in general.If we were in a graduate class, researching it would involve finding recent studies done probably by other grad students or PhD candidates.

How do people learn naturally about such things, though?

Observation, conversation, comparisons, extrapolating from what you know already about various things:

If "How do we learn more?" replaces "How do we research this?" the answer becomes clearer and way more about unschooling, too."

This is not her whole post I was just interested in the researching point.

I use that word often and while it does sound very schooly to me I wasn't sure how else to say what I meant.

It reminds me of School of Rock where Mr. S asks Freddie what he like to do, he says, "I don't know, burn stuff."

Doesn't pyrotechnics sound more interesting than burn stuff?

I have no idea where I'm going... I think that choosing our words carefully is important especially when we are talking about unschooling to those who may be new to the idea. We should be as specific as we can and not use a lot of fluff, just put it out there. I can simply say *I like to learn instead of research*

Truthfully research sounds boring and drawn out where learning is fun.

It's ok if you don't follow me, my thoughts have been so jumbled lately that I need to start writing them down.


Jason and I went out to dinner tonight for our anniversary.

We haven't been out in 4 years!

We are blessed with a friend that Jared likes and he did great, he hardly realized we were gone for 2 hours.

It was so weird to be in public alone without the kids.

We went to Outback Steakhouse, it was sooooo good, we are so full.

I really love their slogan, "No rules, just right"

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Prevent abuse

I have been thinking way too much and not writing at all.

Some stereotypes and labels bother me, what bothers me is the people that make the stereotypes true.

First I'm talking about Christians who give us a bad name, you know the ones I'm talking about?

People hit their kids and the man rules over the wife and children and it's all because they are Christian. I have had to stand up lately and say hey I'm a Christian and I don't do that or believe this and it really pisses me off that non-Christians are getting the example of Christianity from people who I believe are misrepresenting Christ because the Jesus I know would not act like that and He definitely wouldn't hit a child.

My friend Deanne has posted about National Child Abuse Prevention Month and I wanted to pass it on.

Sunday, April 06, 2008

Beautiful Day

The sun came out, the sun came out!!!!

All day and was warm in the 70's!

Thanks to whoever gave pudge some peanut butter :)

If you think I'm off my rocker(well I am) you must not have seen Lilo & Stitch.

Jason and Kieran did lots of yardwork, my baby ran the weed eater and mowed, he wasn't big enough last year...growing up on me fast.

I went for a walk and went outside as much as I could and did various things around the house. Nice weather makes me want to clean and declutter and organize, I must be nuts!

Hope you all had a glorious day!

Saturday, April 05, 2008

Unconscious Mutterings

  1. Nutritious :: Delicious

  2. Graduate :: How do you graduate from life?

  3. Tonight! :: the night we make history...

  4. Located :: Found

  5. Weapon :: BAR Browning Automatic Rifle

  6. Jumper :: Cables

  7. Collectibles :: Elephants

  8. Dennis :: The Menace

  9. Hostile :: Missiles

  10. Vivid :: I can see clearly now...

Luna Nina

Unschooling Voices Issue 14

Issue 14 is up, check it out when you can.

I didn't post an entry this month, I started to write one it's in my drafts, I just wasn't happy with it. It's like being put on the spot, I know you don't have to answer the question, oh well.


Who gave Pudge tuna?

Don't you know it's an abomination?

Someone please give that fish a peanut butter sandwich, I need sunshine!

Friday, April 04, 2008


I am feeling BLAH!!!!

I guess I am affected when we have more than one rainy day in a row, where did the sun go???? Come back come back!

It's also post menstrual and I do have a few down days after that so I figure I'll be fine tomorrow.

I guess I have a lot on my mind and I have a lot I want to do and I don't know where to start.

I also am bothered by some things that the neighbors tell me that their teachers say.

School is so damaging to families it just separates them and indoctrinates the kids, it really saddens me.

I wish I could save them, I would shout from the rooftop, I would hand out Holt and Gatto books at the street corner if I could afford it.

All I can do is not participate in the system and help those who want my help to see the light.

Some people complain about the system, the teachers, the homework but still keep sending their precious children there. They are full of hot air and unwilling to step out of the box and do something about it.

Many people just think it's what they are supposed to do or feel trapped, I believe everyone has a choice and where there is a will there is a way.

I will do whatever it takes to keep my children home with me.

Unschooling Rocks!

Learning through living is what we do.

Thursday, April 03, 2008

I got the goods

Here is what my sweety got me today. He's the man!

These flowers are gorgeous and they smell so good.


We have been married for 15 years now, together for over 19 years.

We have grown together and it keeps getting better.

This is our song *Just Between You and Me*

Wednesday, April 02, 2008


So Jared and I are in Kroger's parking lot and I'm putting the stuff in the van and he is dancing around.

The people next to us are putting their stuff in their car and the lady asks Jared what he has. He is shaking a thing of Tic -Tacs and she goes, "oh you have tic tacs you must have been good in the store, were you a good boy so you got a treat." Jared just went *HUH*

I didn't say anything, what could I say?

No he didn't get a treat for being a good boy because he isn't a freakin dog!

He gets something EVERY time we go to Kroger, it's part of his gig...

Sheesh I can't believe people say things like that!