Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Fish out of water

Do you ever feel totally out of place in a group setting?

Anyone who knows me knows that I'm not one who tries to fit in, I am a non-conformist and always have been. It's a big thing that Jason and I have in common, we are glad we don't *fit in* BUT... we must get along with those that we have nothing in common with.

Must we?

We just spent several hours with people that we have nothing in common with, we are so different and it shows. I am just not into the little clique's, I never was, this is why I really don't like women. No offense! I have come to really value and appreciate many of you I have met online and I have about 2 real life friends. It's just easier to hang with the guys...

I don't even know how much to say lest I be found out, I mean people show up here by google searches everyday. Oh well...

We were at a friend's house with their friends from church, all homeSCHOOLERS. I am very disturbed by parenting practices that demand respect but don't give any. One phrase I heard after minutes of walking in the door was a child saying, "I know" and the mother saying, "It's not I know, it's yes ma'am." Ouch, I know this is the south but I don't agree with this and I actually have seen these people treat their children less than more than once.

I tried to get along, I kept sitting next to them I even interjected a comment here and there but they weren't really talking to me anyway.

I really don't know what they think about me or what my friend has told them. I'm sure she speaks kindly of us.

Jared did have a couple loudbursts and he had reason to. One was an accident involving a hockey puck and his brother. The other one was soon before we left, several were playing a game and there were two teams, Jared was on the team he wanted to be on and then someone wanted to trade and wanted him to trade. He didn't want to, he came storming into the house and yelling it made no sense, he wants to be on this team and if he can't be then he quits.

I took him outside and tried to find out what was going on and calm him down, but he was really upset. Jason came out and carried him and talked with him and walked with him and he finally calmed down. It was so stupid I'm sick of others making up rules with no regard of how they play out in reality.

Jason was playing with them the night before, it was a friend's birthday and they had them over. Jason wasn't doing anything wrong, just walking around stretching his back but he was supposed to be in jail and it was against the rules to walk around, he said, "I don't follow the rules very well." LOL!!! This is my husband speaking to other adults for crying out loud, it's a freakin game already.


We came home and had lots to talk about and I haven't even scratched the surface of our issues. We have decided that next time we are invited to a thing with the same people that we will be busy.


Donna said...

I agree with you on the women thing. I was always more apt to be hanging with the guys than the girls. I did have my fair share of women friends (more so when I was younger than now) but I always was happier when hanging with the guys. Not as much BS and fake stuff going on.

Evne now, I tend to hang with my dh and his friends if we are at a gathering, rather than going to look for women to commune with.

I had a funny older brother, I wonder if that has anything to do with it? I always just thought the guys were funnier, more laid back and easier to get along with.

Grace Walker said...

I can relate Stephanie, really to the whole thing. Quite a few aspects of the southern culture was a big reason we returned to Yuma. Although living here clearly has its things too, I felt very choked by the expectations to conform by others, especially with having grown up there. I know very well how to play the role but by no means does that mean I want to.

piscesgrrl said...

Can I just yell a big fat "DITTO" to your whole post.


Must've been the weekend for it, eh?

Tina said...

I totally feel you. I've run into this so much in the years that I have lived here in IN. It is so difficult to truly have friends. The thing is my kids have more friends than I've ever had. The kids who come over here come here because they love it. They are free here.

justjuls said...

I totally feel ya.
I was just commenting elsewhere on the whole souther culture thing - I think it was at that blog link I sent you - about the guy that came to meet us about taking Kendra out - he used ma'am and sir in all the right places and turned out to be a slime-ball.

Anyway - women are hard - and we are hard on each other. It is exhausting to be around certain people. It is very frustrating to have to be on your guard all the time. In the past I have accepted company that I did not prefer to being alone - and boy is that changing.

I don't mind people having different parenting styles - I don't like it - but try to model a different way with my own kids. But when adults and kids behave badly - pretending all along to be the ones who are doing the right thing - ick.

Kendra had a similar game situation recently with a guy that she had been interested in - he acted like a big baby in a game because the group was not abiding by some specific rule. Everybody was like, "It's a game - there is some idea that this is supposed to be FUN!" Geesh.

Let's just start a commune.