So...
I talked to my dad tonight, I haven't called since Christmas. Let's just say I only talk to him every 3 or 4 months because then I have to detox from the comments he makes.
A few were about Bush, flu shots, school, just stuff.
We are opposite politically, we don't talk about religion, medicine or school, he is a teacher and I am an UNSCHOOLER.
I told him that Jared was reading and instead of saying something encouraging he got on me about Cassie not reading.
She is 8, she can read a little here and there but not sentences and she doesn't try very hard.
He said if she was in public school since Kindergarton that she would HAVE to be reading by now or they would be looking for a problem as to why she wasn't.
I said is there some law that all kids have to read at 5? He said *no*
I said one of the reasons I homeschool is so that my kids can learn things when they are ready.
She is FINE!
I really can't talk to him about much of anything, it is so frustrating but his derogatory comments are uncalled for. This always happens, he said I need to farm them out because they are with me all day. I already blogged about that the last time he said it...
http://learningthroughliving-stephanie.blogspot.com/2007/12/something-my-dad-said.html
Ya know my mom used to always ask me about testing and all sorts of stuff, I tried to explain unschooling to her, I can't even go there with my dad. Maybe when the kids are older and he is retired...maybe...
I finally told my mom 2 years ago that I know what I am doing and that we aren't discussing it anymore. She hasn't brought it up since.
YES!!!! I REALLY DO KNOW WHAT I AM DOING!!!!!!!
That's better :)
After I got off the phone and ranted a bit I had to clean something, I'm ok now :)
Off to the tub soon...
4 comments:
Feel your pain. I have NO ONE in my family supportive. I also have a really lousy relationship with my Dad. Some things are better left alone. Some things can not be changed. Some things have to stay superficial. Hang in there.
My mom and I don't share much. However, I do know she loves me very much and is in constant worry about me and my children well being. She can't relay to me simply because our ways of life are so different--the optimist daughter meets the pessimist mom! There is something to appreciate in every person. I am losing out when I push her and her ideas away--or even people who have a lot of good--simply because I cannot see past the negative.
For example, I really enjoy your thoughts through RCU and Blogspot. That doesn’t mean necessarily I agree with everything you say, EVER. We are made different people. I respect you, your ideas, and your beliefs. I agree with you many of the ideas. Most importantly, I appreciate when we have different ideas. You and I offer each other something new to consider. Your ideas don’t threaten mine when they are not the same. Likewise, I don’t wish to threaten anyone with my ideas. It’s just about sharing and appreciating each other. We cherry-pick all throughout life. Then again, perhaps some don’t because they'd rather take an easier route--accepting everything as either black or white which requires less mental effort. Or maybe it’s just a bad habit. Wonderful thoughts to consider anyway…I do pray for you to find peace with your dad someday, Stephanie. After 25 years, I still regret not having a chance to reconcile with mine before his passing.
We do a lot of don't ask, don't tell here. I'm the queen of diplomatic answers that soothe the doubter's worries without compromising how we do things. It's a fine balance to walk at times.
I can so relate Stephanie...neither of my parents are living but I have answered other family and friends very generally when it comes to our "schooling." I must say, that's one thing that makes it nice being a geographical distance from them...there's a lot of freedom with homeschooling here in Arizona, thankfully! We did have one instance last year, where a couple of friends here asked something specific about Heather so I just flat-out told them what we do. They were pretty quiet and just haven't said anything since. I wasn't rude about it, I just told them honestly that we do something called unschooling, where Heather learns what she wants, when she wants and as much or as little as she wants.
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