Adolescence

Noun:
the period in human development that occurs between the beginning of puberty and adulthood

I believe that our society has made adolescence into  a stuck period of time. High school is basically age 14 - 18. At a time when young people are growing and maturing we lock them up with others the same age.

It's a hormone fest for one thing. It's full of Cliques, peer pressure, bullying, grades, tests, stress, trying to be yourself or someone you're not, following the rules, breaking the rules, following the crowd, not thinking for yourself...

High School is a collossal waste of time and of youth.

I believe that teens can and should be following their interests and learning what they need when they need it. I believe that for every child.

Teens can be doing meaningful work, real work, getting paid.

I just don't see the point of high school. It is not to prepare you for the real world. What in the real world resembles school?

Nothing! Nothing at all!

School is an artificial environment set up to control the masses. It is very simple.

It is an escape for teens to get away from their controlling parents. While the school officials attempt to control, it's really the home environment that controls.

Instead of being controlled they need to be thinking and doing.

People need to be free to learn and grow and think for themselves.

They do not need to be stuck in a classroom all day being fed bullshit and regurgitating it on command.

“Your teacher cannot bridge the gap between what you know and what you want to know. For his words to ‘educate’ you, you must welcome them, think about them, find somewhere for your mind to organize them, and remember them.Your learning is your job, not your teacher’s job. And all you need to start with is desire. You don’t need a schoolteacher to get knowledge – you can get it from looking at the world, from watching films, from conversations, from reading, from asking questions, from experience.”


“Real learning requires meaning. Meaningless information can be memorized and repeated, but it’s not learning.


Grace Llewellyn

Sweet

Big brother playing with little brother :)

Importance of bonding

noun:

Bonding: A relationship that usually begins at the time of birth between a parent and offspring and that establishes the basis for an ongoing mutual attachment.

I believe that it is imperative to bond with our babies right from the womb and time of birth. I wonder if many people actually realize that it has a lasting impact on that persons life. Some may even think that babies don't remember, oh I believe they do. I am going to be the example here, I didn't realize the impact until a few years ago. 

I would say I was detachment parented. I was not breastfed or held all the time, I was left to cry, I never bonded with my parents. I did have a bond with my grandfather that I have held dear to me but he is gone and he didn't raise me. He did hold me on his chest, I was a colicky baby and he soothed me and loved me.

The bond with my grandfather lasted into childhood and adulthood even though we lived 3000 miles apart most of the time, it was there, it was special, it's still there and he died years ago.

My parents were teenagers and really not ready to be parents, I'm thankful that I'm here, that my mom had me. I had a rough childhood and a worse teenagehood. 

I didn't realize until a couple years ago what was happening, lots of memories coming back of things I wanted to forget. I had a few therapy sessions with a doctor and he said I need to parent myself. I need to be the mother to the little girl inside me that is screaming to be loved.

I need to take a break...tears...

My parents loved me in their own way, I suppose. Even now it comes with conditions at least from my father. My mom and I have come a long way but we are still very far. I know where she came from, I know my grandmother, so my mom was ridiculed and belittled her whole life, my grandmother just stopped bringing up every mistake my mom has made a few years ago. In that respect my mom did better than what she had...

Babies need to bond with their caretaker, they need to feel loved and secure. They need to know when they cry someone will pick them up and hold them and talk to them  and find out what they need. It is vital to healthy attachments later in life.

I have kept people at arms length my whole life. It is very hard for me to love and trust completely because I've been hurt so much for so long. I need to find a way to nurture my inner child, she is in there somewhere and once in awhile I do feel like that scared little girl hiding in the closet. She didn't last long though, she turned into a cold hearted bitch and that worked for her for several years.

Now she is vulnerable, feeling things she doesn't want to feel, real emotions that make her sad, hurt, alone, misguided, pissed off, damaged...



I am damaged goods and it sucks to say  that but I think it's true...



I just had a breakthrough in the tub that I will leave for a part 2...



One thing about having had therapy, I can also do it myself, it's not quite as effective but I learn new things and it's much cheaper.

Balance

–noun

1.

a state of equilibrium or equipoise; equal distribution of weight, amount, etc.

2.

something used to produce equilibrium; counterpoise.

3.

mental steadiness or emotional stability; habit of calm behavior, judgment, etc.

These are the first 3 entries at dictionary.com

I am not a balanced person literally, figuratively or physically, mentally etc...

I think that society shoves this at us, we must be a jack of all trades and master of none. We must have exposure to everything. School promoters want us to be well rounded, have a well rounded education.

–adjective

1.

having desirably varied abilities or attainments.

2.

desirably varied: a well-rounded curriculum.

3.

fully developed; well-balanced.

Well balanced , LMAO! 

So yes I do need my hormones to get in balance, but what if I can't? I've tried lots of things and what I'm on now does help. I still have certain days where I am all over the place. I've been quite freaky today. I chart my *symptoms* by day of cycle, there is a pattern. I don't always write things down, my husband knows me well and when I start having certain symptoms he says *Yep it's that time* he doesn't know what day I'm on but he knows.... 

In my regular non hormonal life(if there is such a thing) I am extreme, I love you or I hate you, I'm pissed off or I'm fine, I eat too much or not enough, I drink too much or not at all, I swear  too much or make up really fucked up words trying not to swear. My kids get a giggle out of that. I drop things, I break dishes, I am not graceful. I like my music loud, I like to drink, I like to swear. It is the real me.

Moderation is not my thing!

–noun
 

1.

the quality of being moderate; restraint; avoidance of extremes or excesses; temperance.

NOT ME!

So love me  or hate me I really don't care but I gotta be me! I do not like to be restrained or controlled so back the fuck off!

I'm getting myself back, I got lost somewhere along the way. 

That is why I say you unschool or you don't. People think there is a gray bar, really I know there is a progressive line but you either do or don't, it's so simple in my mind...

Unschooling is the way, it is the key to getting back a society of free thinking people. Our children are the next generation so lets not fuck them up!

Any questions??????????

 

 

Physical growth

My kids are growing up on me!

Kieran (15) 5'7
Brennan (12) 5'7 1/2
Cassandra (11) 5'1 1/4
Jared (8) 4'5 1/4

More Rockin

I forgot to mention My Darkest Days

We saw them with Evans Blue.

They put on a hell of a show!
Excellent band!

Rockin

Jason and I have gone to 3 concerts the last few months. It's awesome to hear live music, just awesome!

Our kids are finally old enough that we can leave for a few hours and not have to worry.

It's bittersweet.

We have only gone out a few times in the last 15 years, we just didn't leave the kids and didn't really have anyone to leave them with.

We have seen Evans Blue and  Framing Hanley and we have seen several local bands and one that opened for Framing Hanley I absolutely love. We have seen them twice now, they are Adalene 
I'm listening to their CD right now, we bought it at the last concert.

I love rock music, rock on!

Random about me

I used to blog a lot about unschooling, public school, parenting, politics etc... I kind of went in a hole the past two years.

I've been dealing with a lot of personal issues coming up from childhood and hormone, anxiety and blood pressure issues to name a few. We also dealt with unemployment and moved a year ago.

I want to get back into being out there and saying what's on my mind.

I've been to many doctors, I've had many tests, I kind of know a bit about what my body needs but it's hard to stay on supplements and good food, it costs a lot of money.

I'll be 40 later this year and I really want to have all of this shit figured out, I want to be healthy and feel good and have some sort of balance.

I was thinking though, I am an extreme person so maybe balance isn't all it's cracked up to be.
I'm quite fun and interesting with my hormonal swings... Except when I cry for no reason, that's not fun...

Yesterday I was feeling really off, I mean weird..er...than usual. My husband says it's your hormones, roll with it, some people take drugs to feel what you are feeling...

I'm a bit better today but I had a blood pressure spike at 8 am that woke me up... I'm erratic still, I'm on meds that I want to get off, so fixing what is causing this would help.

I'm way better than I was a year ago, I was having serious issues, I don't remember if I blogged about it here, it was probably on my private blog. Anyway if I look back I can see how much better I am.

I've also lost about 22 pounds the past few months, that makes me happier, I still would like to drop another 20,  if it happens, it happens.

Today

Well technically it's yesterday because it's after midnight. My day starts and ends when I sleep and wake and has little to do with the time or calendar...Oh the life I live :)

So I just had wine and a hot bath, I'm temporarily warm, it's 13 degrees out, nuff said.

School has been cancelled this week, I know that in states where it's usually cold and snowy they don't get out of school but here in middle TN they do.

My daughter went to her friend's house today and when I talked with the mom she said she hopes they go back to school tomorrow.

She said *I don't know how you do it* They eat all day etc... How do I do IT? I know them and I guarantee they are driving her crazy and she only has 2 kids.

She isn't the first person to say that to me in the last 15 years. I choose to do it, that is HOW I do IT!

So I've been away from this for awhile now because my kids needed me... Makes it hard to remember what the hell I was saying...

I choose to be with my kids, it's that simple. I want to be with my kids, I want to be here, they want to be here. School was never an option and still isn't, school doesn't exist in our lives.

I can't imagine being the parent who can't wait for school to start, it's sad and wrong and sad...

I had more but it will wait until next time.

Freezing!

I may not blog about anything profound again until I can defrost! I am so cold!

I just went to the store and the wind chill just went right through me.

I was not made for this weather.

I thought I moved South but shit that is out the window.

I know I can't control the weather and it sucks that the weather affects me.

I'm trying not to let it get to me, most days I don't have to go anywhere, so I got that going for me.

I freeze in the house too, I just can't stand to be frozen.

My feet are numb.

Coffee just warmed me up, mostly, it hasn't reached my feet yet...

Not really bitching just stating my dislike for freezing my ass off!

I don't like it when it's 100 out either!

But this is absurd and not normal temps.

Sleep freedom

I've written about sleep and arbitrary bedtimes before.

This is just a little more insight into watching my children truly sleep when they are tired.

When they go to  bed varies usually between 1am and 5am.

Lately Cassie has been all turned around. She was staying up all night and sleeping all day for a week or two. Now this past week, she has been sleeping around 5-6pm until 3-5am. So she has been up in the day and asleep at night. Actually last week it was something like sleep 2-6am, get up and then go back to sleep around noon, just really odd...

Tonight she went to bed at 5 and is sleeping now. She'll wake up sometime early in the morning.

She is on a growth spurt. The last time she switched her sleep around, she ate, slept and grew. I wrote about it in the post Late Night Life, no linky at the moment....

She is 11 and is preparing for womanhood, she has grown a couple inches already. They literally grow in their sleep.

I am just so glad that she can do this. When I was a kid I suffered migraines and exhaustion among other things because I had to get up and go to school even though I just fell asleep.

She is truly listening to her body and sleeping when she needs to no matter what the clock says.

Freedom is beautiful!

I still don't sleep right. I'll leave you with  Holt:

"I can't help noting that no cultures in the world that I have ever heard of make such a fuss about children's bedtimes, and no cultures have so many adults who find it so hard either to go to sleep or wake up. Could these social facts be connected? I strongly suspect they are."
~John Holt~

Counter

What's on you bathroom counter?

It was hard to get it all in one shot. Lots of bowls of dyed water, all special colors.

See that pan and Karo syrup?

That is a tar pit and that little action figure was stuck in it.

All sorts of stuff goes on in the bathroom...

HodgePodge

So It's like a freakin blizzard here in TN!

Cold, 15 degrees, 3 inches of snow, wind blowin,freezin my ass off!

I am not an eskimo, I didn't move here to freeze!

Prisons are closed tomorrow, that's good for the kids. My son's friend stayed the night last night and he wanted it to  snow so bad so school would be closed. Well he got his wish!

On a good note, I don't have to go out in it and my kids don't have to wish for it so they don't have to go to school.

My kids went out and played in it, 15 damn degrees because  they wanted to.

My kids have never been to school so don't long to have a day off.

They are free everyday!

That my friends is a BEAUTIFUL thing!

Spanking IS abuse!

So there has been child abuse awareness going on around facebook lately.

My friend posted a quote that I have seen and posted before and it sparked some comments :

‎"When a child hits a child, we call it aggression. When a child hits an adult, we call it hostility. When an adult hits an adult, we call it assault. When an adult hits a child, we call it discipline." ~Haim G. Ginott



In reality when an adult hits a child it is assault, it is abuse!
 
People justify hitting children in many ways but it is completely UNACCEPTABLE!
 
Do you realize the damage you are doing to that child?
 
Do not tell me it is fine to swat a toddler in a diaper. There is no justifiable reason to spank a toddler.
 
I love this one:
If a child hits another child, the parent teaches them that hitting is wrong by spanking them!
 
I would love to slap these parents and see how they like it!
 
Hitting, spanking, whipping, whopping, swatting, call it what you want, it IS abuse!
 
So yes I am calling all of those loving parents who spank their kids abusers.
Deal with it!
Step up, get help, seek alternatives.
Kids do not deserve to be hit by people who claim to love them.
 
Get real, be real, be honest, control yourself, stop the cycle!

Do not tell me you spank aka discipline your child out of love, you are delusional!

If you were spanked, you are damaged, it is not right, it is not good, it is not healthy.
Think about it, really reflect on your experience being humiliated and beaten...Do you want to do that to your children? Do you want them to beat your grandchildren?

Yes I use the word beat interchangeably, think about it!

 
God is not telling you to beat your kids, trust me!
 
Do not hit your kids, STOP hitting your kids!
 
Please, their mental, physical and emotional development depends on it.
 
Check out these links:
 
No spank
Non violent communication 
Parenting in Jesus footsteps
The natural child project

Just please do NOT hit your kids anymore!

Real life example

Kieran came to me the other day and told me he needs to earn some money because he has decided that he wants to buy a new computer.

In the past few months he has gone to some jobs with his dad to help and he gets paid of course. He is developing a good work ethic, he is mature enough to stick with a job and he does it well.

Jason has several clawfoot tubs he is working on and Kieran is helping him do prep work, mostly sanding, bondo, cleaning.

We also have two tubs that Jason just bought in order to refinish and sell. They have buyers now and need to be finished.

Kieran has been researching online at several websites, building the computer he wants. He is doing so much groundwork in order to find the right specs so it plays World of Warcraft and other games efficiently, but mostly WoW.

The internet is the greatest tool we have at our fingertips, so much info, so much to learn. You just keep looking until you find what you want.

Not really

So I'm not really calling off dinner, just annoyed about the gluten issue and am not prepared to make anything gluten free.

We'll  be making turkey breast, mashed potatoes, gravy, biscuits, squash, corn, stuffing, apple and pumpkin pie, that will make my family happy.

As for what I'll eat, not sure yet.

I have a lot to be thankful for.

Last year was one of the most difficult in my life. Jason was unemployed last Thanksgiving so I'll just deal with the gluten issue.

This year is so much better.

We have a warm house, food, internet,work and healthy  unschooling kids :)

It's all good :)

Calling it off

I'm calling off Thanksgiving dinner  due to gluten!

I tell you I've been having a pity party.

My favorite part of dinner is stuffing, biscuits, gravy and apple pie!

Sure these items can be made gluten free but do they taste good?

I am not going to experiment trying to make these items in two days when I haven't even figured out how to do it regularly.

I pretty much just avoid gluten, I have it once in awhile by choice.  Sure I could eat regular stuff and possibly suffer .

UGH!

So WAHHHHHHH!!!!!

I'm not sure what we are having for T day dinner anyway, it's just us.

Just venting...

Unconscious Mutterings

1. Emotional :: I never used to be emotional but the hormones get to me now.
2. Bite ::  Bite Me! My favorite phrase!
3. Get off my :: back!
4. Heroic :: extraordinary
5. Clothing :: optional
6. Home :: is where I am
7. Spelling :: Spelling is one of my strong suits
8. Attitude :: I've got plenty of attitude!
9. Argument :: I like to win an argument!
10. Satan :: Satan can Kiss My Ass!

Luna Nina

Imaginary friend

Jared has an imaginary friend named Bobert, he is always talking about things Bobert does.

Today he said that God doesn't want Bobert and either does the devil so he will live forever. I just thought it was cute.

Here is part of a cartoon he drew, there are several pics but I'm just posting these two.

Ever changing world

I'm going to attempt to make this coherent. I've had thoughts in my head, read articles and have exchanged with others via email.

Education isn't about schooling at all, one is educated by learning what they need in this world. We all have different needs, we all have different abilities that is why there are so many choices as to what one can do in life.

A one size fits all school system that isn't changing is not preparing kids for the future. Can one really be prepared? How can one know what they will need to know in the future? The world is ever changing, I have heard that from more than one source lately.

Since we can't know what knowledge will be most needed in the future, it is senseless to try to teach it in advance. Instead, we should try to turn out people who love learning so much and learn so well that they will be able to learn whatever needs to be learned. ~ John Holt

One source was in favor of school saying my kids need to be in school to be prepared for the changes in the world. Well obviously that is nonsense.

School is an outdated institution, it is not growing or changing or adapting to the ever changing world. They teach the same thing over and over every year. Some things will never change, 2 + 2 will always be 4, I think...

Technology is constantly improving, look at what a cell phone can do these days.

I believe knowing how to think, how to find answers, how to adapt, how to communicate, those are abilities that will help you in the world.

A college degree isn't what it used to be and is only useful in certain areas, medical and engineering come to mind, I know there are others. Overall most jobs can be obtained without a college degree.

I believe that being an entreprenuer and having a marketable skill are wonderful ways to earn a living.

I hope for my kids to find something they love and can earn a living doing it. I don't encourage a college degree, I'm not discouraging it but why start out your adult life thousands of dollars in debt?

College can be done at any time it does not have to be done at 18, so many kids are forced into it because of the ingrained mindset of society. Go to school, get a good education and get a good job.

Really? Is that all there is to life? Join the rat race, be miserable, stay in school it prepares you for the misery that is to come.

Get out of school. Quit school and get a real education!

Information is at our fingertips, this is a wonderful time to be living in this ever changing world!

Unconscious Mutterings

1. Freezing ::  It is freezing out right now.
2. Bikers :: Harley
3. Infrequently :: not very often
4. Mickey :: Mouse
5. School:: Prison
6. Textile :: mill
7. Obstinate :: Stubborn...Oh I'm obstinate :)
8. Guard :: prison
9. Release :: Catch and Release..awesome movie
10. Authentic :: real, totally real, I love authenticity

Luna Nina

Childhood

Childhood is not a preparation for life...childhood is life.

When I think back on my childhood, I didn't really have much of one, I really wasn't a kid very long and I surly didn't enjoy being a kid. I couldn't wait to turn 18 to get out of my parents rule.

My circumstances were different than many and maybe similar to some. After my parents divorce I took care of my brother and sister and the household duties while my mom worked two jobs. I was 12.

This wasn't going to be about that so I won't go into any details at this point.

What I really want for my kids is for them to ENJOY being kids. I want them to live and learn everyday without the stress of adulthood looming.

So many kids are pressured each day to perform, to get good grades, listen, obey, respect authority etc...

To prepare for their future job and mortgage.

Kids today aren't able to just BE.

My kids have never been to school and have always had the freedom at home to follow their interests and to learn in their own way and in their own time.

They are growing up right before my eyes.

Unconscious Mutterings

1. Everything ::  and anything
2. China :: Made in China
3. Essence :: pure
4. Immediate :: NOW
5. Obstruct :: in my way
6. Force :: Do not force me to do anything!
7. Constellation :: Big Dipper
8. Intuitive :: mindful
9. Complain :: I try not to complain much
10. Train :: of thought, I lose mine all to often

Luna Nina

Jared's opinion

We went to Publix last night and they were giving out balloons and candy.

On the way home Jared was reading the warning label on the balloon. It said "Choking Hazard, children 8 and under can choke or suffocate on balloons" Adult supervision needed etc...

Jared is 8, he was beside himself.
He said mom, that is stupid, kids my age and 6 or 7 should know better that to stick a balloon in their mouth.

He said that should be a warning for 3 and under.

He was insulted to say the least. He talked about it for a bit.

Unconscious Mutterings

1. Sarcasm ::  You talkin to me?
2. Coke :: have a coke and a smile
3. Frank :: Maier
4. Party :: Animal
5. Witches :: brooms
6. Intentional :: on purpose
7. Crisp :: and clean
8. Lockers :: eww...gym lockers...eww...school...
9. Walking :: around the block every day
10. Fundraiser :: begging for money

Luna Nina

Questions

Last night I had a quick conversation with a young man at the wine store. We have a bit of rapport, I've been going there for awhile now.

Over time it's just been quick hi, how ya doin stuff. I don't know what prompted it but last week I mentioned that I have 4 kids and homeschool. He only knew of my youngest son because he comes with me alot.

His mouth about dropped, he is 21, dang kid was born the year I graduated from high school.

So last night, he brought it up that I am the first person he knows that homeschools. He asked me why.

I did a quick, I'm against public school, the very nature of it to produce factory robots. I asked him if he knew the history of public school and why it was started, he didn't.

He liked school and he is a schedule type guy. I said you can still have a schedule and have some freedom. He was puzzled to say the least.

I said we aren't those strict curriculum types, we follow the interests and ability of the child. I said my kids are smart and it's not because of me, it's because they are free to learn in their own way and time. He mentioned that they must be curious, I said yes, very and google is our friend. I don't know everything but I know how to find out.

I mentioned with the library and the internet available, school is unnecessary.

I told him that I thought high school was a collosal waste of time and that little kids shouldn't be holed up in a classroom all day, they should be free.

We talked a little more, I don't remember everything, but he was definitely enlightened.

He really appreciated me talking to him, this is a totally new concept to him.

I thought it was great and it reignites my fire to plant seeds and share my views :)

Why?

Why do I focus so much energy on dissing the public school system?

Many of my posts here and on facebook are about the downfalls of school.

Why don't I just post happy unschooling stuff? Well I do but I am trying to plant seeds. So many people have never even questioned the institution. They just blindly and willingly send their kids there.

Of course I don't know if anyone reads here who isn't already homeschooling.

The system is broken, I don't think it's fixable. Sure we could improve it, I wrote about that recently.

I am just very passionate about unschooling and very passionately against compulsary schooling.

I just want to share my views and the realities speak for themselves. There is so much in the media about failing public schools.

It's a huge political agenda, politicians are clueless. They just think more money and more testing will fix it.

Getting rid of testing would be a huge step in the right direction.

I don't think it's a waste of my breath or that it takes away from unschooling.

Heck I just have to tell someone! ha ha!

Some people just don't get it

I'm not going to name names but sheesh! I guess the indoctrinated really don't know that they are indoctrinated.

The system sure works in that regard, it gets many to where they can't see learning or education without schooling.

To me school does not equal education. Schooling does more harm than good.

I am against compulsary schooling, the very nature of it's existence and it's purpose.

I realize I am in the minority, I have never been with the crowd. Always a non-conformist rebel.

It's how I roll.

Ask me anything, my answer may surprise you.

I don't apologize for being against school.

As a matter of fact, I think the world would be better off without it.

Things would be so different if parents actually raised their children and not the school system.

They would have to be resourceful and responsible

I had my kids on purpose, I don't believe that children are mistakes. I believe that people are irresponsible and having unprotected sex doesn't warrant you to be a parent.

Well that got off my  original thought but it's how I feel.

Rock Island

We took a day trip to Rock Island State Park yesterday. The weather was just beautiful, the scenery was gorgeous.

We had a picnic and then fished and explored a little.

The kids collected shells and rocks.

They found a millipede skin and a fish vertabrate.

They caught a few sunfish. They walked along the rocky shore just checking things out.

Definitely a great day!

Glad I live in modern times

I have always been thankful to live in the technological age, I like modern amenities and I also like the fact that women have a voice in their lives.

I realize some cultures still make women less than, there are still arranged marriages and such.

I just watched the movie The Duchess, with Kiera Knightly, based on a true story.

Whenever I see these movies based on true stories it really gets me in the gut.

What women had to endure. Everything was about class, and what family you came from. You weren't worthy if you were a mere peasant with no financial offerings.

Women were suppressed, controlled, raped, only worthy if they produced a male heir. They suffered greatly, it's tragic.

I am so glad to be able to voice my opinion, to vote, to have worth. I don't take free speech and freedom for granted!

We are having beautiful weather here, finally! 70's-80 in the day 40's at night. I went for a walk today, got the kids out on their bikes.

I love this weather, sunshine, slight breeze, I just soak it in, get lost in it. This is what I wait for.

We had the hottest summer ever, you know global warming and all
I'm serious I was bitchin!

So I plan to enjoy these wonderful temps and get some exercise in the process.

I told  the kids to come out with me today. We used to go out in the spring, then in the summer we went out at 10 o'clock at night. Then stuff happened and we didn't walk... I hate when stuff happens, it messes everything up.

It's time to make it a habit again. It's important to get sunshine. Since it was so damn hot we didn't go out much this summer.

I am vitamin D deficient and take a supplement, I may give the kids some  since they haven't gotten much the past few months.

I hope fall stays this beautiful before the cold winter hits.

I don't like hot and I don't like cold. I like it just right, like it is now!

Enjoy Life

I just want to enjoy my life!

That may sound so easy to some but for some reason it's not for me, I'm way to serious. I have always been caught up in what is wrong that I need to focus on what is right.

I have to stop dwelling and worrying, it's really ridiculous.

I'm not a pessimist but I'm sure not an optimist, I'm a realist.

Some people are so happy and joyful no matter what, I just want to feel a little of that.

I just need to refocus my thoughts.

I am happy, I guess I just don't show it.

I am so blessed, I have the best husband and children, I love them so much and am so thankful to spend every day with them.

That is all that matters in reality, everything else just needs to back off.

Part of this may be conditioning, my mom was pretty negative and always worrying, glass half empty, I grew up around that example. It was always scarcity, no abundance.

I want to focus on the little things everyday that are important.

Stop worrying about what is *wrong* with me and work on fixing it.

I am awake and alive, each day that I wake up is a good day.

So what if I'm tired?

 I just have to get up and go and stop bitchin about being tired.

school, bullies,choice

Today on facebook, a friend mentioned how she hated sending her child to school when she felt like she was walking into a lion's den.

I would not send my child to school ever but under these circumstances wouldn't you reconsider things?

Especially with all of the media coverage about bullying and suicides.

I just don't understand how you can set your child up for abuse. School is bad enough but add in bullies and the stress can be unbearable.

I know that everyone won't homeschool, can't for whatever reason, but many people can and choose not to.

I feel so bad for all of these kids being treated less than human, being abused, ridiculed and picked on.

For what?

Surly not an education. School has nothing to do with education. School is an outdated, obsolete institution that's sole purpose is to control the masses and babysit kids while their parents work or worse have *me time*

So yes, it's their choice to send their kids to school and it's my choice not to.

Do I agree?   Hell no.

Do I respect people who send their kids away?

What do you think?

Who Am I?

That's a good question. So many of us know who we are and others are trying to figure out who they are.

I know what I like and what I don't like but I don't think that defines who I am at my very core, my inner self, the one that I kept buried for so long. Well I'm coming back around, I don't know why I got so quiet and sheltered my thoughts and opinions.

I have to be me even if it offends you.

It's not my intention to offend but I really am sick of being quiet. Yes something happened today to cause me to say that, that will be a separate post.

I  am opinionated, I'm extreme, I tend to be an all or nothing personality, it's hard to do baby steps and moderation, it's just not natural to me.

When asked a question I give the answer based on my extreme views of things...

 School...you will get an earful, everything I talk about ends up back to public school being the root cause of the issue.

 It's kind of funny but it's true.

Unconscious Mutterings

1. Intruder :: Alert!
2. Repelled :: grossed out!
3. Trench coat :: flasher
4. Lipstick :: The familiar taste of poison
5. Humongous :: Elephant
6. Oven mitts :: hot pads
7. Case :: just in case
8. Daughter :: Cassie
9. Attorney :: The Defenders
10. Shaken :: but not stirred

Luna Nina

Why do you unschool?

October theme for Enjoy Life Unschooling blog carnival is *Why Do You Do What You Do*

Why do you unschool?

Why do we unschool?

Short answer is unschooling is natural and school is artificial.

We planned on homeschooling before we had kids, sending our kids away was not an option that we wanted.

I always treated my babies like people from birth, worthy of trust and respect. I held, rocked, nursed, slept with, talked to, shared with them etc... Just because we don't know what they understand, I always talked to them and told them what I was doing. Since I held them all day they were doing everything with me.

They learned how to sit up, roll over, crawl, walk and talk in their own way and time frame. I did not *teach* my children to walk and talk and either did you.

Learning is as natural as breathing when the process isn't interrupted by teaching and schooling.

When my oldest was 6, I like many people were under the impression that it was time to start school, homeschool in our case.

I did buy curriculum and we worked on it 1-2 hours a day for about 4-6 weeks. It was awful, he resisted, I pushed. We just got to where we would hurry up and finish so we could get on with our day, our life. That isn't natural. Making my son write spelling words didn't teach him how to spell, it made him hate to write.

We weren't happy so I put the books on the shelf and left my son alone. I got online and searched for others. I knew there had to be a better way but I needed to deschool because even though I disagree with school, it was the only model I knew.

It didn't take long to figure out that unschooling was awesome, that people learn by living. That his 6 years of life he learned so much, he didn't need me messing with that. I found so much info online, joined a bunch of yahoo groups and the rest is history... That was 9 years ago since my son is 15 now and has never been *schooled* since.

My other 3 kids were never subjected to curriculum or lessons, they are truly always unschooled, my oldest was only *schooled* for 6 weeks out of 15 years so I think that's pretty awesome!

Our parenting principles made the idea of life learning and respect very simple. We never had rules and chores and limits on activities. We are open and honest, we discuss things as they arise. No two situations are alike and therefore warrant different courses of action.

"Birds fly, fish swim, man thinks and learns. Therefore, we do not need to motivate children into learning by wheedling, bribing or bullying. We do not need to keep picking away at their minds to make sure they are learning. What we need to do, and all we need to do, is bring as much of the world as we can into the school and classroom (in our case, into their lives); give children as much help and guidance as they ask for; listen respectfully when they feel like talking; and then get out of the way. We can trust them to do the rest."
 - John Holt  "How Children Learn"  

"I never see the negation as negative in a value-judgment sense when I use the word--to me unschooling is as positive as unchaining, unbinding, unleashing, unfolding, unfurling, unlimiting....


"All mean freedom and growth and vast possibilities to me."
~Suzanne Carter


I don't even know if I answered why...Why not? Unschooling is awesome, kids are awesome, they are only with us a short time and sending them away is not something I'm willing to do.

Unconscious Mutterings

1. Mustache :: Victor Newman
2. Person :: noun
3. Restore :: rebuild, fix
4. Discretion :: secretly
5. Lamp :: shade
6. Pillow cover :: case
7. Arousal :: stimulated
8. Seattle :: Seahawks
9. ATM :: card
10. Custard :: ice cream

Luna Nina

Zuko

Jared wants to be Zuko for Halloween and he drew this and made a list of what he needs.

minus one

So today I noticed that I had one less friend on facebook and one less follower on my blog.

Coincidence?
Probably not.
Wonder who I pissed off?

Hee hee :)

Unconscious Mutterings

1. Gangs ::  initiation
2. Contact :: me
3. Surprisingly :: funny
4. Penciled :: in
5. Ignore :: button
6. Let’s go! :: Buffalo!
7. Cornerstone :: building
8. Influential :: I hope to be influential
9. Holistic :: medicine
10. Lovesick :: sad

Luna Nina

Jared's cartoon

This is so cool if you click on it and bring up a bigger picture you can see it better.

Cassie's Door

I guess her brothers were bothering her last night.

Ridiculous (to me) statements

These statements were made in a conversation about my homeschooled children with someone in the system, very in the system.

*The world is changing and they won't be prepared for the future*

*They need to go to highschool to get scholarships for college*

*They are missing out on experiences that their counterparts are experiencing*

*I would hate to see them living at home when they are 30*

Yes, I need to let it go but it is so absurd that I had to tell someone!

Just to be clear I did not mention Unschooling, this person thinks what they think about homeschooling.

Tuesday

Why do mosquito bites itch?
Hawaiian Islands
Cyborgs
Robots
Pictionary
Clue
Wallaby
Butterflies
Kangaroos
Rabbits
Tongue Twisters
Legos
PS2
WOW
TV
Internet
Store
Drawing
Lots of questions and talking

That's off the top of my head,
I have a hard time remembering everything. I normally wouldn't care but  need to  learn how to keep track of stuff when I start registering.

So I think that I will try to keep tab on things we learn about.

Unconscious Mutterings

1. Bangs :: head
2. Diaper :: bag
3. Coffee table :: haven't had one in 14 years
4. Cops ::  a plea
5. Matches :: fire
6. 250 :: 300
7. Hurricane :: Earl
8. Bad :: attitude
9. Confirmation :: number
10. Fiber :: flaxseed

Luna Nina

I used to play this every week, it can be fun, try it  :)

Enjoy Life Unschooling giveaway

Enjoy Life Unschooling is having their first giveaway.

There will be five winners.

The winners will receive an organic cotton (natural color) tote with the Enjoy Life Unschooling logo in Terracotta.

Check out the link, these totes look cool.

Good Luck!

Sleepover aftermath

The kids had fun, boy it sure is a mess :)

OY!

I can only be so hopeful for change and then talk to someone who would never change. Some people will never shift, they like their box, they like the school model and live by it accordingly.

It is frustrating for me as I am speaking of my own father. I can't figure out why he thinks my kids won't be prepared for the future, the world is changing and school is the best preparation?

What?

My kids have an advantage because they are free to learn as they wish. I think they will be more ready for the world because they live in it. They aren't holed up in some little box all day being carroted around.

I think I made a new word...hee hee, I was referring to the carrot and stick...

I don't usually get into these discussions with people I know are unwavering. It happended though because my dad and I have a very strained relationship, it's more so now that I spoke up.

The truth is I'm glad we are not nearby so he can't constantly critique my children. I know that seems harsh but it's how I feel.

I usually let things he says roll, but I have to speak up now and again to defend myself.

I am not a complete idiot and I'm pretty confident that my kids are fine and will continue to grow and learn at their pace.

Changing the system

My husband asked me how would I start to implement change in the school system because in reality you can't just close schools.

Unfortunately not everyone will homeschool...

I think that first I would lift the compulsary attendance law or at the very least raise the age. People shouldn't be forced to send their child away to an institution at a young age. Children should be with their parents for as long as they can.

I would do away with grades. When people are learning, they shouldn't be graded on their process. When you learn it for real, you know it, you retain it. Real learning is an individual process and is disrupted by schooling, teaching, grading and testing.

I would also do away with standardized tests or any tests for that matter for the reason stated above.

If school was more interesting and less rigid about pushing grades and tests more kids would learn and more would enjoy being there.

My ideal if you will... is schools being  run more like libraries or community learning centers.

They will be there for people who can't or won't homeschool.

Not compulsary, if it's so great people will choose to attend.

Facilitators who love what they know and want to share their knowledge could host *classes*

People of all ages could pick and choose what they wanted.

I disagree with age segregation. Age has nothing to do with knowledge. Everyone is individual and should be able to learn at their pace.

The whole system is outdated and obsolete as a way of learning.

If our tax dollars are going to be spent on *education* we should make it productive and useful and even enjoyable.

All the lawmakers are doing is throwing money at those with high test scores and doing nothing to improve the quality of life for these kids.

I don't expect to see much *change* in the near future. Many people write daily on the woes of public schooling but nothing is being done to change it.

I believe that too many are ingrained that school is the way and it's hard to get them to shift their paradigm's.

Sure it's nice to think of ways that the kids who have to be there could be nourished and not depleted but I don't know how to go about that.

Just putting some thoughts down, wish I could remember everything I said to my husband. He was playing devil's advocate and asking me lots of questions.

Keeps me on my toes :)

Picking Up the Pieces

It’s easy unschooling when everything’s going well, but what about when it’s not?

Last year my family went through a serious financial crisis, my husband lost his job and was out of work for 4 months.

We have never had a lot of money, always lived on one income, paycheck to paycheck but when there was no paycheck for months life was  completely different.

We have always unschooled and in my mind and life unschooling isn't about academics, it's about learning through living. Unschooling is a philosophy and it's a lifestyle, we live therefore we learn.

So I was very stressed out, high blood pressure, anxiety, hormones out of whack, just not well. I've been having health issues for awhile and the stress from that situation really made me much worse.

The kids really did well, I mean we all adjusted going without things we were used to having. Relying on help from friends and strangers. So many of my online friends helped us through, I will never forget the generosity, I hold it in my heart.

It was hard but we were honest with the kids about not having any money, we ran out of things and couldn't replace them. We did just eek by with the bare necessities. We only lost power once, briefly and lost internet for a week or two.

We stayed home mostly and just used the things we had in the house to play with. We met some wonderful *angels* who blessed us greatly at Christmas. Yes, we had Christmas with presents and food all given to us by kind, generous people.

We learned a lot about kindness and helping others. We also learned that some agencies that are supposed to help you in time of need was just a bunch of bureacratic bullshit.

I believe because we have always unschooled that the kids just kept doing what they do the best they could. We learned a lot of real life stuff in those months. We grew stronger and closer and had to work together even more than usual.

We had to move (foreclosure) so we just did what we had to do to pack and clean and move. We are in a much better place physically and mentally now. My husband got a job at the end of December and we are climbing our way out of the hole that unemployment caused.

We have also been able to help several people in the past few months and it feels so good to help someone who truly needs it.

So while things seemed to be going all wrong, we perservered and stuck together and got through it.

Unschooling for us truly is a way of life, we adjust and go with lifes turns and twists all the while learning so much each day.

Because I am that mom, I lost count on how many times Jared said *mom, look* so my train of thought is gone...

This post was inspired by the Enjoy Life Unschooling Carnival.

I'm that mom

This post is inspired by Ronnie go to the link and see lots of entries in the comments :)

I've been trying to think about what makes me *that mom* I mean honestly I just do what I do for my kids because they are awesome people who deserve to be loved, respected and really listened to.

I honor their likes and dislikes, I cut the crust off the bread, I make them what they want to eat regardless if it's what I made for everyone else.

They play hockey in the living room and build forts and do experiments in the bathroom.

I'm that mom that inspires neighbor kids to want to spend all day at our  house and ask me to adopt them.

I'm that mom that let's her kids BE kids. Play in the mud, play in the rain, play in the hose, get dirty and explore. Guess what kids are washable :)

I'm that mom that reads the same book over and over, that answers countless questions each day, that comes when called to:

Mom, come here.
Mom, look.
Mom, what is this?

I'm that mom who does her best to find a way to say yes, even if it's not now but let's figure out how we could do that.

I'm that mom that will play a game with her child even if she really didn't want to because it makes the kid happy and in turn it makes me feel good.

Today I was that mom who let her 8 yr old play with a plastic produce bag in Whole Foods. He had a blast playing with that bag, it kept him occupied the whole time :)

I'm that mom who wants her kids to be happy and free and does her best to make that possible.

Learning happens

We all know the phrase *shit happens* right?

Well *Learning happens*

It is natural, it is individual, it is real and it is part of being alive and kicking.

Learning happens!

No shit!

Some days it explodes!

Some times there is so much info being shared, discussed and researched in this house that I can't keep up.

Lots of great stuff was discovered tonight, Jason said is it after midnight yet?

Ha ha! Of course we learned lots of stuff on Learn Nothing Day because we know it's impossible not to learn.

Annual Learn Nothing Day

Well it's that time again when unschoolers try not to learn anything.

We all know it's impossible but it's fun to try.

I'm sure I already failed and it's only 12:38 am :)

Enjoy your day.

Learning happens.

You can't stop it.

Just wish the mainstream folks picked up on that :)

When did this become the *Norm*

I think about things a lot and sometimes I actually verbalize them or write about it.

Soon after birth we(as a society) send our kids away for at least 12 years. If we do daycare and preschool then it's much longer than that.

Then in the high school years we push them about getting into college, then we send them away for another 2, 4, 6 or 8 years depending on how long they stay in college.

How does this promote families?

How is this a good thing?

 How is this considered the thing to do?

How can you have a real relationship with them?

Do you even know them?


I did not have kids to send them away. It never even crossed my mind to send them to school.

We planned on homeschooling before we had kids.

I left college to be a mother.

Being a mother is the best decision I have ever made.  We have 4 awesome people to share our lives with, why would I send them away for somone else to raise?

Why send them to government daycare ,aka prison, aka school?

I just can't understand how sending our kids away during their young years is a good thing.

Well it's not a good thing at all.

Happy Birthday Jared

Happy  8th Birthday to my sweet boy!