Thursday, September 27, 2007

disappointed kids

Not mine, LOL!

A new example of parenting that I do not understand nor can I do anything about.

Picture it, tonight dinner is done and the neighbor kids are here. Many times we tell them that the kids are gonna eat and then will come out to play, many times we have plenty and offer it to them.

Tonight we made homemade pizza, a big sheet of it, I was getting it to the table and Brenny asked if W could eat over. I said it looks like we have plenty so sure he can. They left and were gone for several minutes, in the meantime his little sister was here and I gave her a plate.

We were all eating when they came back, I asked what took so long. W said that his mom kept asking him questions and are you sure they have enough. The jist is he was told that he could not eat here all the while his sister was here at our table.

I asked him a few questions and he was so upset, just sitting there watching us eat.
I apologized to him, I did not say anything about what his mother said. Some of you know me and know how hard I bit my tongue.

He also told me that the other day his sister got in trouble for eating a brownie we gave her because she didn't have dinner yet. It was like 7:00pm the kid was hungry, we told them we were making them and they got called to go home and we sent them home with a brownie.

I felt so bad for him and within 5 minutes the phone rang and it was his mom asking us to send the kids home, Jason said she sounded snippy.

You have no idea what we have done for these kids, they are here almost everyday, I feed them I listen to them, I am the lady with the paints and markers and games. They get off the school bus and are at my house within minutes.

I feel bad for them and I feel like I really have no place to confront the parents, you have no idea how many times I wanted to. I'm afraid they would get banned from here, so I just do what I can and hope that we are a light for them.

I really want to smack some parents upside the head, this particular family has so many stupid rules I can't keep it straight and sometimes it infringes on my life with my kids who don't have stupid rules. If you are interested I could compile a list just from what I see.


mrsdebus said...

Oh my goodness... I so agree with you! We have had the same thing in every home we have lived in- we have it in our own family even- and so many peole want us to parent the same because it's "character building"...I'm hoping to build a different kind of character :0) Hooray for you for beign someone kind and fun!

Grace Walker said...

Stephanie, I am interested in a list, if you want to compile one. I would like to read more. That is truly sad. Wow!

Penny said...

How sad for them. At least you're giving them a model of what freedom can be. They'll remember that.

justjuls said...

The woman is your neighbor and she had to call to get the kids? We KNOW she's not busy making dinner.
I hate that - because if you do confront the adults - the kids are the ones who will suffer - hers and yours. They probably enjoy playing together.
I just hate situations like that - authoritarian adults ruling the lives of young people.
Good for you holding your tongue. I knew you had it in you!

About the missions trips - I understand your hesitation - we were happy to get to go with a group of other Christians outside of church - but I think we may be nixing the whole idea. Too stressful and too much money to raise in such a short time. I went a few years ago to an indian reservation - and I LOVED just hanging out with the kids and getting to know them. No agenda.

piscesgrrl said...

Hi there,

Stopped by after seeing a comment you posted on another blog. Just have to chime in on this one with a "been there done that." We have to tread very lightly with our neighbors as well, but in the end I think it is worth it because if we p*ss off the mother, we'll never see the kids, and if we never see the kids, we'll be sad and so will they. It's a tightrope we walk, and I talk and talk (and talk) with my son about why we must bite our tongue and why I can't go off on the mom and why it's better for the kids and for us if we keep the peace so we know that at least at our house, they can have a dose of freedom and love. And they get it nowhere else.

*sigh* It's tough stuff.

Happy unschooling to ya!