Thursday, July 19, 2007

Respect

I have talked about respectful parenting before and we are dealing with a few issues here and I just want to reassure you ladies that I am trying my hardest to practice what I preach.

Tonight the kids got rowdy while I was in the tub and woke up Jason. It isn't pretty when they wake up daddy, ya know!?

I realize they get caught up in the moment and forget that it's 1:30 am not pm but it has happened a lot lately. Thankfully this was the first time in awhile they actually woke dh up.

Some days are just plain difficult and I feel like I'm talking to the wall...

I know my kids have good hearts and don't mean to be loud and hurt each other. The past few days they have been putting the mattresses on the floor and jumping and doing all sorts of stunts. It really is inevitable that someone will get hurt, right.

What happened tonight was that Brenny accidently kicked Jared and he flipped out and ran into the bedroom and woke up dh because he knew I was in the tub.

You all know WHY I was in the tub!!! Yikes, I'm doing better now but today was pretty painful so I've been sipping the Merlot and soaking.

Anyway, geesh are you ADD or something??? No, Jared keeps telling me to look, he is playing Lego Star Wars, mom watch!!!!!

Tomorrow the kids and I need to have a talk about when daddy goes to bed and about being nice and treating each other the way you want to be treated and all that good stuff :)

Can I just vent a tad??? I have posted on this before but when I see the phrase *I'm an unschooler not an unparent* I get really ticked. It implies neglect or something.

Parenting mindfully and respectfully takes SO MUCH work, setting rules and limits and punishments and bedtimes is the EASY way out. There is no thought in the matter, no modeling and respecting the individuals in the house as well as the family as a whole. All that does is make the parents feel like they are in control of people who are smaller then they are.

I just get so riled because I DO PARENT so much, it takes time and effort, some days I don't want to do it, like the past few actually... I have to do it for my kids, I have to parent them the way each of them needs it not by some arbitrary rule made for my convenience.

It isn't easy but it's worth it, my kids are worth it, I just need to refocus and get things in order.

I wonder about those people who even say the unschool but don't unparent because I really wonder what *unschooling* means to them.

I had someone unsub from RCU today and the reason was that we are to extreme in the childrearing. I was thinking what??? We don't spank or make our kids do chores and have bedtimes, what is extrenme about that??? Those were my first thoughts, dh saw the email and he said what?

3 comments:

kelli said...

**I have posted on this before but when I see the phrase *I'm an unschooler not an unparent* I get really ticked. It implies neglect or something.

Parenting mindfully and respectfully takes SO MUCH work, setting rules and limits and punishments and bedtimes is the EASY way out.**

Yeah, I'm pretty sure people don't get what we're doing when they say things like that. I had a friend who had at the time just started homeschooling. She had looked into unschooling and talked with me and responded, "I just don't have it in me to do what you do. I can't unschool." So, I think she actually got it more than some others.

Hang in there, it is hard sometimes, especially at those monthly times. But we know that it's worth it. :)

jewlsntexas said...

I think this can be a matter of semantics - because you do not unparent your children - you are parenting in an better way - in mho.

Anyway - bummer that we are so extreme that someone had to drop off the list. Interesting that that they had to make that comment - instead of just saying "no thank you - this is not for me". But oh well - we don't need any negativity anyway - not that questions and curiosity are bad - but either you get it or you don't at some point.

Discussions about respect - are you sure we don't live in the same house!

Hope you're feeling better. Just FYI - there are 3 of us - me and the 2 teen girls - who cycle together much of the time! UGH.

Tina H. said...

Steph,
It's at those difficult moments that you have to be the most alert of your own feelings, ya know?
I chant "you can do it, you can do it" to myself. Ha!!
You can do it, too
Tina