Saturday, August 16, 2008

preaching to the choir

I have lots of opinions on things but the major ones that get me going are schooling, unschooling, parenting and freedom.

Tonight I was talking to Jason and he just kept nodding and saying uh huh.

I know he gets me, we are pretty much in sync with each other. The differences we have are minor, we agree on the major stuff in our lives.

So I told him that I don't have anyone to talk to besides him. I know he gets it but sometimes I just have to say it out loud.

I have come to the realization (maybe some of you are way ahead of me on this)
that if I want freedom of choice and certain rights that I have to extend that to everyone, even those that I completely disagree with.

This is a hard thing for me because I would just love to go around telling everyone what I think but I realize that I can't really do that.

For example, my parenting philosophy is very different than my neighbor. Our kids play together everyday so I have a frame of reference. We have talked about various things but we are so opposite on parenting and schooling that I do not bring it up.

Now when someone asks me what I think about something then I can share or sometimes a door opens and I can plant a seed. Otherwise I just work on being an example. That does work because I have been complemented more than once or twice.

I guess sometimes I just want to shout from my rooftop and other times I just want to hang out in my comfort zone and not deal with people.

Fall sports have begun and I have already witnessed a few parenting situations that have bothered me. I'm sure I'll see a lot more as the season progresses, well at least I'll have something to blog about.

One example, at one practice this little guy was getting ready to bat and he was talking to me, I was standing at the fence where he was waiting to hit. He didn't know who I was but he was so gung ho about being able to steal a base, this is the 9 and 10 yr old group. He went on to tell me all the times you are allowed to steal and he was so excited.

Well the little guy struck out, he cried and cried and sat down and cried some more.
His dad was on the field helping and he came in, I didn't hear what he said but his mom came over and yelled at him. He was told that he can't do that here and to get a hold of himself, he just said *I can't help it*

It was really sad, he went out in the field and playing resumed but he was still crying. I felt so bad for him because I knew how disappointed he was and noone acknowledged his feelings. He was just ridiculed for crying in baseball instead of asked why he was crying or even allowed to feel what he feels.
Now I realize that crying is looked down upon, especially among boys and definitely in sports but he just turned 9 for God's sake.

I'm not trying to pick on people, I think many parents just don't have any ideas except to follow traditional, mainstream parenting because that is what is readily available. There are people like me that go against the grain, that is how many of us have found each other.


Donna said...

My nephew is a baseball player. He is 15 now, but I remember a few years ago going to a game and something happened that upset him. My sister (his mom) and his dad were riding him because he looked like he was going to cry. When I told my sister to lay off and let hm be, I was told "there's no crying in baseball!" Ugh! I have 2 girls who are not into organized sports. I eventually had to stop going to my nephews games because I just couldn't stand how the parents talked to their kids there. Always yelling and shaming.

Tina said...

I just try to be a good listener. You learn alot and usually those who are talking feel better for having someone just listen.

Sports is a really bad place as far as observing obsessive parenting skills.