Tuesday, February 03, 2009

home

I believe that home is where I live.

It's not a place I used to be in or a place I long to go back to.

I suppose home is where I make it.

I don't have a *hometown* like so many people do.

I don't equate any place in my childhood as *home*

I lived in 4 states before I was 18.

I was born in Lewiston, NY but I didn't live there.

Jason and I have lived in 4 states since we've been together.

I guess we haven't stayed anywhere long enough to build roots.

I do have many fond memories of CA and I lived there as a teen and then Jason and I lived there for 9 years and our two oldest children were born there. That was the longest I've lived anywhere.

I know some people that long to go back home and I just have never had a place call me like that.

We are coming up on 3 years here and I have no ties or roots.
I could move again, although Jason doesn't want to.
Last night I told him that AZ is warm and the homeschool laws don't suck :)

We aren't going anywhere right now but I guess I have a sort of detachment to places. It could be because I've moved so much and my parents are divorced and I never had a *real home* as a child.

I want to create that kind of home for my kids, the one they don't want to leave and the one they will always come back to when their grown.

I suppose it might be time to plant some roots and stick around for awhile.

Jason and I like it here and so do the kids.

It's not like PA where I wanted to leave as soon as I got there, that was a long, hard 7 years of my life.

I grew a lot and changed a lot and I know it was part of my journey but boy I don't want to do that again.

So I guess this is home and we'll be sticking around here.

2 comments:

Tina said...

Home is where you make it. Especially when you come from a divorced family. That family house is long gone. And if you've moved a lot that kinda stops those homey feelings.

I think, having been here 11 years, my kids will equate this house with home. However, we will probably move again. And they feel that Maryland is their true home.

Oh egads....

the roller skating party tonight was such a farce. Feeling so out of touch with some of these people around here.

The Guillaume Family said...

What you write about having a detachment to places resonates so much with me. I feel this way too, just havn't ever been able to put a word on it. Dh and I have moved...euhm...something like 15 or 16 times since we met eachother, that was 14 years ago...which gives us an average of under a year in the same location. I think that's a pretty good shot at the gold medal for rootlessness huh?!
Anyway, my parents weren't divorced and I lived in the same house from I was 9yo till I left home...so, if I'm "rootless" it doesn't stem from too many moves in my childhood.
I think how we lived our childhood can have an influence on these things, but it's only on aspect. That said, I also like the idea of the "childhood home" - a family home actually - that place that belongs to a family for generations, my husbands parents house is like that...it's nice.