Tuesday, November 04, 2008

A few thoughts

Today was an interesting day, I didn't sleep well and woke up a few times before I actually got up. I woke up anxious, my heart was beating too fast and it felt like my blood pressure was elevated. I got up feeling like crap because I was tired and started my day that way.

Today I had to go to the lab to get my blood drawn for a retest because there was a screw up with a test they ran. I wasn't consciously nervous but my subconscious has a mind of it's own. This happens all the time, if I have to go to the doctor or make a phone call or go somewhere that I've never been. My heart rate was really high this afternoon but my BP was normal. I felt like crap though.

I don't know how to control my subconscious, I don't know how to control anxiety and how my body responds to stress. I can't afford $150/hr for a therapy session with my doctor, I had to cancel my check up this week because I need to get my bill paid down before I add more to it.

So much of my responsiveness is engrained and reactionary and out of my control. Trust me when my heart is beating fast and I try to *relax* it actually gets higher.

When I wake up feeling this way then I was obviously thinking about stuff while I was sleeping.

Does anyone know what I'm talking about? I need help!!! I need to figure out how to deal with this stuff on a conscious level so my subconscious cooperates.

I'm sure I'm anxious about the election too, gee ya think?!

I am holding out HOPE that the majority of the American people do NOT want socialism. I am putting faith in them to vote for freedom and against big government.

I don't get why people are all gaga over Obama, he creeps me out. He stands for bigger government and higher taxes and redistribution of wealth instead of creating wealth. Not to mention he is a liar.

I don't know when the belief that the government will take care of you and owes you a living came from. I don't understand why some people want to sit on their ass while others work hard. I just don't understand why some people aren't proud to be an American. If you are voting Obama because of abortion or gay rights you are really missing the BIG picture.

I do understand why some people are fed up with the 2 party system, so am I. I don't believe that this is the election to vote third party in. It is too critical, yes we need to stand up for what we believe in and protest the audacity of the government.

I am pretty much Libertarian, I want a small government that protects our borders and keeps us safe from terrorists.

I believe that the federal government is way TOO big and needs to be scaled way back. We have lost so many freedoms and we have gained so many social programs.

More control needs to be handed back to the states and that includes issues like abortion. I'm not even going there right now.

If you are not proud to be an American, if you are not patriotic, if you do not believe in the constitution and do not believe that you live in the greatest country on earth than I say leave.

I'm not kidding, get the fuck out.

Michelle Obama was never proud to be an American, if you aren't happy leave.

Freedom isn't free.

Socialism and oppression don't work.

The democrats need poor people to keep them poor, if you want more from life, if you desire to work hard and spread your wealth as you see fit then please do the right thing when you go to the polls.


Deanna said...

First, have you tried yoga to help calm you? Biofeedback is another good option although that costs money.

Second, while Obama isn't who I'd like to see as president (neither is McCain...I wanted Ron Paul), we should be very careful about insinuating that Obama supporters are unpatriotic or don't love America. The ones I know personally DO love their country but happen to not like the direction we have taken in recent years.

Likewise, it really bothers me when people (not you, specifically) insinuate or even say outright that Democrats or liberals in general cannot be Christians. We all have our own priorities but there are some Christians who believe that caring for "the least of these" in terms of providing for the poor should be near the top of the list.

We don't have to agree with one another but I truly believe that if we make an honest effort to understand where each of us is coming from, rather than simply listen to all the rhetoric being spouted on both sides, we can at least respect each other and our individual choices.

Ultimately God is still in control, no matter who wins this election.

Donna said...

I was going to suggest Yoga too, see Deanna beat me to the punch.

I know I did cognitvie therapy way back when I used to have panic attacks. That helped.

I've been anxious too. I have decided I have to know god is in control. I don't beleive he chooses who we elect, I believe we have free will, but in the end, he knows what is going to happen, and in the end, whatever that end may be, he remains victorious.

I certainly do not want to live in a socialist society. I really do hope it doesn't come to that. None of us can forsee the future, all we can do is focus on what is important closest to us, our families. I will still be the mom, home with my girls, trying to raise them to be decent, God loving individuals. They can take away our rights, they can take away our money, they can take away our freedom of speech, but they can't take away who we are and what we believe. We have to hang on to that.

I know one of the things I used to do to slow my heart rate down when I would be in the middle of a panic attack was take a deep breath through my nose, hold it a second, then release it through my mouth while slowly counting to 10. I would do it a 1/2 dozen times or more, if need be. Focus on your breath and breathing, think only about your breath and the inhale and exhale, and the counting. You need to block any other thoughts from your mind. I used to have to tell myself I wasn't dying too, because in a panic attack I always thought I was dying.

Things will be ok, no matter what happens with the election, we need to have faith and believe that.

Praying for you!

Colleen said...

I'm a little late on reading this and hope you have figured out how to calm yourself. I think you were stressed about this election (don't blame you, it stressed me out and I couldn't even vote!). But now that it is over, we need to pray diligently for our new president and for the country.