I used to be...

So involved in unschooling discussions. I used to debate. I used to share my political views. I used to talk about parenting respectfully and I used to just be active online and in person. I used to promote my thoughts and opinions.

Then....peri-menopause hit me like a two ton heavy thing. Also life has thrown lots of punches in the last few years.

Now I'm just some crazy whacked out hormone imbalance that can't get it together anymore. My emotions are all over the map and I can't seem to pull myself together.

I used to be so strong and confident and determined. Now I feel weak and down. I don't want circumstances to beat me down. They are and I don't know how to stop them.

I don't know how to get out of this funk that I'm in.

Letting Go of School

                             

Letting go of school is a process that I believe is imperative to Unschooling successfully. When you start out homeschooling you go through a deschooling phase. This phase usually takes longer for parents because they have been indoctrinated longer than their children have.

If you have 12 plus years under your belt it may take you several months to deschool, maybe longer. Your children don’t have the luxury of waiting for you though. I recommend that you leave them out of it.

While you are detoxing from the system allow your child the same courtesy. If they have been in school or homeschooled they need to undo the damage of schooling.

 So many people try to unschool and then freak out and go back to math lessons or curriculum. Then they try again and keep failing. This can really confuse your child and it’s not good for you to panic about schoolish things.

School is artificial, Unschooling is natural, let it flow from one day to the next. Make one more connection, have one more moment without school. Pretty soon you won’t be thinking about grades or tests or lessons, just real life.

Education isn't about schooling at all; one is educated by learning what they need in this world. We all have different needs; we all have different abilities. That is why there are so many choices as to what one can do in life.

If you don’t completely deschool you will never fully unschool.

I’m not saying everyone can or should unschool. There are many people out there interested in Unschooling, curious as to what it’s all about. They try it on but never fully let go of school and just can’t seem to grasp it completely.

I may be in the minority but I believe that mass government compulsory schooling is doing so much harm to our youth. It makes no sense to attend an outdated institution for 12 years of your life. Being told what to do, what to think, what to believe, it leaves little for the imagination. We all know that textbooks are boring and full of mistakes and if you disagree with the teacher even if you’re right, you’re wrong. Being graded and tested is degrading to a child.

Learning is a natural thing but people have lost the ability because they have been taught that learning is a chore. It’s hard, boring and painful; it’s work, not fun.

This is of course not true but it’s what schooling will lead you to believe. Work hard, study hard, get good grades so you can grow up and join the rat race and celebrate mediocrity.

I say forget that! Venture out of the school box, let go of grades, tests, teaching, scopes, sequences, lessons, curriculum and textbooks. Let it go far away from your mind. Those things are not necessary for life learning.

Children who have never been schooled learn in a natural way. They know how to learn, they know how to think, they know how to get information.  Real learning, real education is about knowing how to obtain information.

Life...How it's been lately...

My friend said I should write about what is going on. I didn't think anyone would really want to know what's been going on but here goes...

 Things have been very tough. Three months ago my husband was let go of his job. He does own his own business and has been building it part time while working a full time job  for almost 2 years.  Just over two years ago he lost his job and was unemployed for 4 months. That was a very difficult time and I really didn't want to repeat it.

 Last year was a very prosperous year and he made more than he ever has, maybe not a lot for some people. Trust me the tax man took a big cut. We were blessed to be able to help many others in their time of need.

I really wonder why this happened again? Was I too comfortable? Was I spoiled with wine, chocolate and rock concerts? Too used to certain things because now we are going without things.

My attitude has been in a really bad place. In September he was hit, our van was totaled. We went through a 6 week ordeal dealing with bureaucratic bullshit. Long story short it was securing a loan so they paid off the loan and we have a broken van. I am not satisfied at all with this but I have tried to let it go. I admit that I still get pissed if I think about it. Things don't roll off me, they stick around until I'm good and ready to be done with them.

Times are very tough. Business is very slow. We get to where it seems something will happen then it is taken away. Doors keep closing and walls keep going up. I sure haven't seen one open after one closes, nothing to replace what was lost.


I hate all of the cliche's that you hear about going through trials. I have a hard time having faith or hope. I just don't have much evidence.

 I have been forcing myself to list the things I am thankful for everyday. I know it could be worse. I am thankful for many things but I am just so mad about so much also. I have to feel what I feel.

It really feels like so much is against us, the last 3 months have been very stressful. My body isn't doing well, my hormones and anxiety and blood pressure and stomach all need me to release the stress. I don't want to worry about the rent or the water etc.... I want to live.

I've been a   bit withdrawn and not being the best wife, mother and friend that I used to be or can be. My attitude has been sucking to say the least.

I'm trying to see the good and believe that it will be ok but it's really hard. I have no idea why this is happening or how we'll get through it. We got through it two years ago and I really thought that horrible time was over. We had a fresh start and now that is gone too.

There is something comical though. We were all used to having certain things and have had to go without or make substitutes. I bought generic cat food and the cats won't eat it. It's just funny to me that even the cats are pissed, you should see how they are acting.

The thing with these cats, they were strays that decided to stay here. They live outside because I'm allergic, I told them to go catch a mouse.

The kids are adjusting but I can see that some things are a bit hard for them. Mostly just adjusting to not having certain things or being able to go places. They do really well through this all though. I don't want them to see me being a negative bitch, I'm trying to keep it under raps. I'm trying to make the best of it, they are trying too.

Unconscious Mutterings week 460

1. Crushed ::smashed, squished, sad
2. Thanks ::I am trying to give thanks for what I have
3. Steam ::hot shower
4. Bulletin ::board, message
5. Budget ::Don't have one
6. Value ::cherish, worth
7. Aquarium ::fish
8. Logo ::letter, symbol, icon
9. Information ::internet
10. Lend ::a helping hand, an ear, money

Luna Nina

Good bye Honey

Honey was part of our family for three years. She fell sick yesterday and hung on
until about 2:40 am.

Cassie spent the day holding her and keeping her warm and comfortable. She lasted longer than we thought after the symptoms arrived. Cassie was very close to Honey and is very sad. This was our 5th guinea pig and we are taking a break for awhile. Cassie gets so attached and they just don't live very long.

Uninspired

I haven't blogged in awhile and I haven't written an article for An Unschooling Life since September.

Any thoughts, questions, ideas?

I need something to run with to get my head back in the game.

Too much stuff going on and I am completely uninspired...I got nothing...

Help?

Anyone?

Bueller?

Sleep?

This is just a little follow up that just happened right after my article was released.

We have been renting this house for 1 1/2 years and the owner decided he didn't want to own it anymore. Today it was auctioned off.

All week we have been cleaning and decluttering to prepare for the sale. We had to get up about 7:30 am to get ready by 9:00 when people would be allowed to walk through our house.

You know that out of the 6 of us only 2 do mornings well. We tried to go to bed earlier but it didn't work. I only slept from 3-6am, I just can't sleep when I know I have to get up early.

The kids only got a couple hours of sleep also. Everyone got up and got ready and had fun, well I wasn't having fun, I was miserable.

When the auction was over 2 kids napped, I laid down and went semi unconscious for an hour and the other 2 kids are doing fine.

I guess I'm just saying we got up, did what we had to do and moved on with our day.

This is an example of an outside force imposing on our natural sleep rhythms. It is difficult to go to sleep just because someone else deems it necessary. We had no say in the time of this auction and had to do our best to handle it.

As of now all of us have had a nap and some of us are really out of sorts. It will be nice to go to bed and wake up naturally.

Why do some people have kids?

I really do believe that there are lots of people out there that should not have had kids. That is another story...

I do wonder why some people have kids and then bitch about them. Tonight at the store I witnessed a mom with 3 kids bitching about her kids with the cashier. I really couldn't hear everything, I was in another lane, it just bothers me. I see so much bad parenting out there but to just complain about it to strangers????

If you change your thinking and your attitude about your children I bet they would start acting differently. You get what you give. If you are always bitching you aren't going to get happy children.


Most small kids do not like going to the grocery store as it is, it's not fun, they have to sit in the cart and they can't have any treats in the check out aisle.... They keep asking and keep getting denied....

Well actually my kids can have a candy bar or pack of gum....they get one almost every time we go. Now that my kids are older I usually go shopping by myself or just one will tag along. Now they ask me for a Twix as I'm going out the door.

I guess my point really is that we need to be aware of how we are treating our children in public and at home.

Some parents are just so dramatic and rude.


We all get tired, we all have bad moments, the key is to recognize it and do something about it to make it better.

Bitching and moaning and woe is me I'm so tired can't these damn kids behave....That will get you exactly what you give!

Sleep Freedom

My latest article at An Unschooling Life:


Sleep Freedom

Just wondering

I have seen several times over the years unschoolers turning to school or some version of school at home.

I can't help but wonder why? What happened? I also wonder if they were really unschooling in the first place. Just because you don't use a curriculum it doesn't mean you are unschooling. For my purpose here I mean learning through living, learning naturally.

I'm thinking that unschooling from the start heeds different results then coming to it later. While I have seen people leave school, deschool and unschool, it seems that some just can't quite get there. They have that niggling feeling that they need to be taught. Maybe they lack confidence in themselves or lack trust in the learning process.

Schooling interferes with the learning process. Teaching conditions people to think they need to be taught.

I'm not talking about structure, some people have the need for their day to be structured, that's fine, I think they should structure it however they wish.

My kids all have different learning styles, abilities, personalities, interests etc...

Yet they all learn, they all thrive, they all don't have the need to be taught. They don't seek out school, they know it's there, their friends go to school.

I don't believe that some people are born with the need for school, I just don't believe that. School wasn't always around so people used to learn without it. I do believe that school has come and messed up the natural learning process and some people just can't escape it for whatever reason.

It does baffle me because I live in a house full of learners.

Autodidact

Autodidact means self taught.

My children have always been unschooled, they learn naturally. They look things up, ask questions, think and figure things out.

There is a quote from Ivan Illich that says:

"School prepares for the alienating institutionalization of life by teaching the need to be taught"

My kids do not have that need, they have never had teaching, lessons, curriculum and tests.They are incredibly knowledgeable about various things. I could not have begun to teach them what they know. They have truly learned so much in their own way and time. It's their life and mind and nobody should control that but them.

They don't have fear of learning or trying something, they just dive in and figure it out. I'm here as their facilitator not their teacher.

My youngest son is 9, he has now created 3 websites, he did 99% of it himself, he asked a few questions along the way.

When one hasn't been hindered by schooling or teaching, learning is as natural as breathing.

My kids are amazing people!

Breathing

I have been having a hard time breathing for several weeks now. In May my allergies started up and it has progressed and moved into my chest. I used to have asthma when we lived in PA. I haven't had trouble since living here in TN.

I am allergic to ragweed and the weed pollen has been very high all summer. We have had and are still having an extremely hot summer with very little rain. I can't remember the last time it rained, I forgot what rain looks like. The forecast is hot and the weed pollen is high with no end in the near future.

It got so bad that I went to a clinic today and got a steroid shot and a new prescription for albuterol, I have a nebulizer and have been using some old stuff for the past few days. My chest is so tight I can't get a deep breath to get the medicine in there.

I'm hoping the shot will open me up so I can breathe again.

Anti-School

I've been seeing it around the web lately that we shouldn't be anti-school. We shouldn't be out talking against school.

I am anti-school, I will not apologize for that. I know why schools were started and they are outdated and useless, IMO.

Schools are not necessary for learning. They are a place to herd children while parents work or a place for those few neglected children to get a hot meal and safety from their abusive parents.

I do not see value in school, never have, I went to school from preschool through 2 years of college.

If homeschoolers want to get their panties in a wad because I don't like school, oh well.

I promote partnership parenting and unschooling. If I happen to diss the system that is my prerogative.

My main goal when sharing on here or facebook or wherever is to show what the purpose of school is and to show there are alternatives to school. Many people have never even given a thought to NOT sending their kids. It's automatic, it's normal, it's what society expects one to do. When more people wake up and opt out and make different choices then maybe we can actually change the system.


I'm not against having a place for kids to go because I know that most people won't home educate. The compulsory institution just isn't it.

People are people

We are all different, I don't expect anyone to be like me. I'm surprised when I find people who actually get me.

My viewpoint is unique to me and it's not usually popular.

My opinions are my own as are yours.

Sometimes I talk about things that I care about. You don't have to read it and you don't have to care.

I'm very passionate about children being raised in environments where they are respected.

I'm passionate about Unschooling. You don't have to share my passion and you don't have to Unschool.

If you are here reading I assume it's because sometimes I actually have something interesting to say.

Why do people even utter the word?

Why do homeschoolers say I'm not an unschooler but? We were unschooly today... After the books the kids did _____. Why do they have a list of excuses of why they can't be unschoolers?

Why don't they leave us out of their equation? I have often wondered why so many people are ready to talk about unschooling even though they aren't doing it.  I think there is some sort of weird affiliation, jealosy? curiosity? hatred? I really don't know.

All of these people who hate labels yet publicly use the word unschooling when they aren't unschoolers makes me wonder.

I think some people are misinformed but some think they know what we know and some just plain say hey we are unschooling at this time of day and that is what it is.


Unschooling is equated with not using a formal method of textbooks or teaching so if the kid goes off and actually looks something up they are unschooling? Really?


I've seen people say they enforce the basics but encourage *unschooling*   UGH!!!!

The basics are learned through living life, they don't need to be enforced! Stop enforcing things on your children! Live with them, listen to them, be with them, love them. Academics are such a waste of precious life.... Anyone can learn when not forced but lives in a loving environment. Nobody needs enforcement of the basics! What are the basics? Reading, writing, adding, subtracting, cooking, cleaning??? One person's list is not anothers. Hey teacher leave them kids alone!

You can tell me to shut the fuck up and back off but in reality Unschooling does mean something, it is a  real philosophy, it is a real way to live with your children.

I'm really sick of all of the bullshit on the web and people who use the term. If you aren't unschooling, admit it, move on and forget about us...Please!!!!!

Unschooling and electronics

 My latest article at an Unschooling Life
http://anunschoolinglife.com/unschooling-and-electronics/

One size does not fit all

I firmly believe this in anything. I have never fit anything, if we are talking about clothing I need an in between the sizes. If we are talking medical, I don't fit any profile and can be quite frustrating to doctors. Anything I do or say is all me, I don't fit any mold, I will not conform. I have my own unique take on everything as I'm sure you do too.

So when we are talking about learning or education yes there are many different approaches to this.

Unschooling could fit anyone because I believe it's highly individual.  Unschoolers come from all walks of life with all sorts of abilities and personalities. So I really do believe anyone could embrace the lifestyle. Many people won't because they've been conditioned to being taught. Many people have situations going  on and just can't embrace it, that's fine too. For those that can and will, it truly is wonderful.

My 4 children are very different, yet all learning, growing and thriving with unschooling. As a facilitator I help each one in the way they need it. So unschooling has many sizes to fit the individual, what's not to love about that?

"School is the advertising agency which makes you believe that you need society as it is." ~ Ivan Illich

Fantasy...or reality?

I'm starting to think I live in a fantasy world where school doesn't exist and children are free to live and learn and be and do and think and grow and create...


Actually that is reality at my house. I wish everyone could experience life with their children not complicated by school. School is an outdated institution, it is unnecessary to life and learning. We do not need to sit in a classroom all day being told what to know and think and be tested and graded.... It makes no sense to me...at all...

Schools as we know them need to be wiped out and started over. I think privatizing schools would create so much good. Little learning centers would start popping up all over the place offering different things. People who wanted or needed a school situation would have so many choices....

I know fantasy right? The only way anything will change is for people to wake up and realize the failed system can't be saved and needs a complete overhaul...But chaos would surely ensue as the sheeple wouldn't know what to do without being told.... Harsh? maybe....but true, yes I believe it is.... Except for those  that escaped the dumbing down and would do something with this new found freedom...

Alas....Until then I'll live in my real world fantasy with my children.

Meeting online friends

We had the pleasure of meeting Jen's family this week, she is the one who blogs at The Path Less Taken

They were on a 3 week family vacation and we were on the end of their trip. I've known Jen online for a few years, I think, I can't really remember when we first met online.

They drove 12 hours that day and came for dinner and stayed almost 5 hours. We had a great time talking, laughing and just being together.

Our kids all got along great and had fun.


Her family is very cool and easy to be around. It was so great to meet unschoolers in person. All of my unschooling friends are online.

We made some nice memories :)

Holding a grudge

Someone is holding a grudge against me and a friend. I honestly don't know what I did. Something happened 2 years ago on my friend's facebook wall, it was political. I don't recall commenting or getting into a debate or anything with this person.

She unfriended me and I still saw her all over the place because we had mutual friends...so I blocked her so I wouldn't have to read anything she said. We have a significantly different political view but I'm friends with lots of people that I don't agree with politically.


She was apparently still subbed to my yahoo group and I sent out a special notice to all members. She replied saying she didn't want anything to do with it after what *you two did to me*

I seriously don't know what I did. I sent her a nice email asking her to tell me what the  problem was....I talked to my friend and I just decided to let it go....

Then today I get an email from her that said *Bite Me*

I am really baffled because I have no idea what her problem is.... I'm letting it go, trying to be the bigger person here... But the feisty part of me wants to reply and tell her to FUCK OFF!

That is why I'm writing about it here, that way I get it off my chest and I can just ignore the bitch. She just better never contact me again though I can't guarantee I'll be so nice next time.