Welcome to the south

Ticks...
Two of my fears in moving to TN were ticks and tornadoes. Last night Jared had a big tick in his scalp, it was really in there. We had a really hard time getting it out and are slightly concerned that we didn't get it all. Jared was in so much pain it was truly awful.
We are just watching him and praying that he doesn't develop any symptoms of illness from it.

Last year Cassie had one on her neck and last month Brenny had one crawling on him but this was by far the worst for Jared. Of course I'm afraid, I hate the thought of ticks, ewww yuck.

As for the tornadoes we have had some touch down around us and I hope it doesn't come any closer then that. Of course we had tornadoes in PA also and I never realized that when we moved there.

Oh well there are trade offs for living here but it's worth not having months on end of sub zero temps and snow,I don't like winter.

So it's time to start the nightly tick check on the kids and get some Bug-X.

Information overload

Wow!! This week I have so much new information from my Homeopathy course, my brain is swirling. Last night I was reading and I had to stop because there is so much to take in.
I was dreamimg of acute miasms and succusions and triturations and belladonna and reperatories and Hering's Law of cures and...

I hope I can really remember and absorb, their is so much to learn. I have been loosely reasearching Homeopathy for about a year but I really needed the information presented this way. I love the internet!!!!

Quick check in

I haven't posted anything new in quite awhile except for the quotes. I have been taking an online course in Homeopathy and that takes extra time from my week. I love it, I'm gaining a huge amount of knowledge and I will be able to treat my own family in first aid and acute conditions. I also plan to go on to the advanced course, it's all online so it's great for me.

The kids are doing great, Kieran and Brennan have been playing lots of Runescape, they'll each use a computer and get on at the same time and help each other out. Brennan is learning how to read as he goes, it's been such a natural progression for him, it's awesome to watch natural learning unfold over time.

Jared has been even more intense then usual and having major outbursts, we are working on helping him figure out his world. It's really hard to reach him sometimes and I am doing my best not to react and yell at him. Of course that is totally counterproductive and I've been doing pretty well, it's hard not to get frustrated when he is flipping out and yelling.

We are supposed to have major storms tonight, it's been really warm and now there is a cold front coming. We have the A/C on and will need the heat this weekend, bizarre.

Today is our 14th wedding anniversary, dh brought me lovely flowers and we had a nice family dinner.

Please Vote for your favorite quote

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www.jewlsntexas.blogspot.com/

Quirky quotes contest entry 2

"There is no difference between living and learning...it is impossible and misleading and harmful to think of them as being separate"

John Holt in "What Do I Do Monday"

Quirky quotes contest entry 1

"So if you sleep until you're 18... Ah, think of the suffering you're gonna miss. I mean high school?
High school-those are your prime suffering years. You don't get better suffering than that."

Uncle Frank(Steve Carell) Little Miss Sunshine, 2006

Now I see

I had a nice talk with my best friend and we (well she) pointed out that I am a perfectionist. I want to do everything the best possible way and some of my standards are unreachable.
I really never thought of me that way but when we talked about practical examples of things I do and how I do them she is right I'm a perfectionist... There I said it do I need to join some club now like perfectionists anonymous
I am who I am and it's ok to be me :)

Something I'm not

I've been thinking a lot lately about who I am, I mean really am...
It seems I'm always trying to change myself and be something I'm not. Change is good I've changed a lot over the years but my core, true self hasn't. I guess I mean trying to conform to some idea or standard of what I should be. Let me think of some examples, I am naturally strong willed, tell it like it is, honest, I've been told I'm brutally honest and I don't think it was a compliment. I don't mean to come off harsh or uncaring, my personality is that of a choleric/driver if anyone knows what I mean. There are many good traits to this also, as with any personality there are pros and cons, people are different.

I like to talk straight, if you know me this really isn't a problem but in many situations in the past, I just sit back and don't let my true self be known. For many years in church, nobody ever knew the real me, I felt like the *fake Stephanie* This has nothing to do with my faith in God or my belief system it has to do with really telling people how I feel or what I think. Some people are easily offended and it is never my intent to offend, I have learned over the years that those people had other issues they were dealing with and something I said hit them the wrong way.

So for years I have been trying to make myself be what I think I'm supposed to be, I pray to God to make me *patient, kind, loving, compassionate* I guess I am these things but in my own way. I'm not quiet or meek or tame. I think things that I never say out loud but God knows my thoughts.

I want to be the best person I can be but I think I have set these unrealistic expectations and for things that really aren't me. I'm not a nice touchy feely supportive lovey dovey kind of person. I don't even know how to explain what I'm feeling, I just want to be me without trying to be something I'm not.

Target practice

Kieran has decided to start shooting his gun again. He got this for his birthday and hasn't shot it in a few months. He is shooting at soda cans and he keeps track of hits and misses and writes down his percentages.

Hockey in the living room

It's been cold here lately so the kids improvised.

My 4 reasons

My 4 reasons to be the unschooling, mindful, respectful parent that I know I can be. It takes a lot of mental energy and deleting old tapes in my head from my childhood. Every time I screw up I just remember to do better the next time.

Elephants

My favorite creatures, they are just gorgeous! This is at the Nashville Zoo, they have 3 beautiful African elephants.

I hate being sick

I have been sick since Christmas and enough is enough! I should be laying down but I'm sore and I have so much to do but don't have much energy. I feel a little better today considering I have spent the last 2 days in bed for the most part.
I am a terrible sick person, I feel violated, I get cranky and miserable. YUCK!!!!!

My dad and stepmom came down from NY to visit and I tried my best to not act as awful as I felt. We even went to the zoo, it's amazing that I walked through the zoo when I should have been in bed. That is probably why I got worse but I didn't want to ruin it for my kids.

There was a highlight to that, I got to see the elephants :)
Anyone who knows me knows that I love elephants. Oh they were just gorgeous, Jason got some pictures and videotaped them for me. I can't wait to go back and visit them and the kids are looking forward to the next trip to the zoo. It was a great time even if I was feeling lousy.

Now it's time to take down the Christmas decorations and clean the house. I did a little bit so far but I'm just really out of it.

For the past several days I have been pushing the vitamin C, taking Oscillo and Oil of Oregano and trying to rest. I even took some hot baths accompanied with Chardonnay, I was trying to sweat it out or flush it out with alcohol

Oh well I know I'll be better soon it just sucks to be ill.

Christmas in Opryland

Here we are in front of a gigantic tree in Opry Mills Hotel. They have it decorated beautifully, we saw a water show done to music also.

There were many trees and decorations inside and out and a huge Nativity scene outside made out of ceramic, and so many lights...

There were so many people there that it made it a little too stuffy but it was worth going anyway.

New addition to our family

This is Caramel, she joined our family about 10 days ago. The kids just adore her, the dogs still aren't sure what it is. We introduce them as often as we can and they sniff her and lick her. We will not let them near her unless we are holding her. We are being careful because they get jealous.
She squeaks alot and her favorite food is celery.

Unschooling does not mean unparenting

I have seen this phrase more than I care to *I'm an unschooler not an unparent*

It bothers me on many levels mainly because it implies that unschoolers are unparenting, that couldn't be further from the truth. To truly unschool you have to parent differently than the main stream, many many public school kids are unparented because they drop the ball on the system.

Truthfully it's the parenting part of unschooling that is so challenging, I parent my ass off and don't like it implied otherwise. We are whole life unschoolers, radical if you will, I have no misgivings about how children learn naturally and in a rich, loving environment conducive to learning will learn everything they need when they need it. It's the parenting that I'm consumed with, trying to do it respectfully and mindfully. I don't care about math and science and any other subject because that is all part of everyday life. I care about the inter personal relationships, and learning how to get along in this world.

74 and Sunny

It's beautiful here in TN, the kids are having fun playing in the dirt.

What to do on a rainy day

Get wet of course! They were painting mud on their faces and running around doing an army scene. My other pics turned out blurry, it rained quite a bit today.
We just made peanut butter cookies and the house smells nice and the kids are full of smiles and praise. They said I'm the best cookie baker :)

My own worst critic

Do you have high expectations that you will probably never live up to? Well I do... I know this is a challenge that I have always had, I don't know where it came from. I'm not really a perfectionist but how I want to be and how I am are two different things. People tell me that I'm too hard on myself and they don't see the issues that I see.

For example, my parenting skills, to outsiders I'm patient and kind, my friend thinks I beat myself up too much. Last night I lost it with Cassandra, I was just plain pissed off, then I felt terrible and starting criticizing myself for getting mad. Now she had been acting this way all day with several outbursts and it was 1:45 am and I couldn't take anymore. Does that make me a terrible mother, in my eyes it does. I notice a hormonal pattern because I just realized that I'm getting irritated and going off about everything all of a sudden. Gotta love those hormones, while it's a valid reason it's still no excuse.

I hate getting mad at my child and I hate yelling but sometimes I do rant and rave...

Since my goal is mindful, respectful parenting this really ticks me off when it happens. I'm not perfect so what is wrong with making a mistake? I am aware and I try to do better in the next moment and apologize if I'm way out of line.

At least my kids and husband don't share in my *terrible mother* mode, they think I'm a great mother. It's just in my own perception, I just need to get it out of my head.

I will continue to strive to do better and be proactive not reactive but hormonal tirades just take over my good sense sometimes.

We have 2 neighbor kids that always come over and last night the boy went home to eat and his sister stayed here. When he came back and knocked on the door she opened it and said *come on in to the fun place* she is about 4 1/2 and he is 7. So I guess I need to get over myself, that's my advice...

Ok... I admit it

I am a person who likes things clean and free from clutter. Clutter bogs me down and weighs on me, it drives me nuts. Recently there were discussions on a couple unschooling groups I am on about clean houses, I didn't write in because I never seem to have a chance at the right time. I am apparantly on the other end, many people were talking about cleaning as it needed to be done but not worrying about it.

Someone wrote that they have sayings between friends like * if you don't clean for me I won't clean for you* or * If you want to see my house make an appointment but if you want to see me come anytime* Those are two I remember off the top of my head, I just giggled quietly...
I don't care how anyone else keeps their house but I seriously need to clean, not every day it does go in spurts.

I do the usual stuff every day but right now my house is a mess of course my friend doesn't believe me she thinks my house is never a mess
Well it's a mess to me, today we spent the day at the park so when I came home I did the dishes and laundry but that's all.

The bedrooms are a mess now I admit that lots of times I just pick up the kids rooms as I go and sometimes I ask them to pick up their rooms.
I let the mail pile up for a short while and stuff piles up then I have to declutter and get rid of it.

We have been playing lots of boardgames lately so those are out in the dining room along with papers, folders, books, crayons, legos, army men etc...

Jared always has something exploding, usually legos, they are everywhere :)

But... I need to get rid of the clutter, I'm not talking spotless just picked up and neat, well I do like to vacuum, I know I'm deranged, LOL!

Being an unschooling family of six plus two chocolate labs you can imagine that the house is nowhere near the way *I* would like it. I do try and keep it liveable for all of us though so it works.
I actually told my hsband the other day that if I could I would have the house not looked lived in, how crazy is that? I'm just compulsive seriously I want it to be warm and inviting but also clean and decluttered, I'm looking for the balance.