One size does not fit all

I firmly believe this in anything. I have never fit anything, if we are talking about clothing I need an in between the sizes. If we are talking medical, I don't fit any profile and can be quite frustrating to doctors. Anything I do or say is all me, I don't fit any mold, I will not conform. I have my own unique take on everything as I'm sure you do too.

So when we are talking about learning or education yes there are many different approaches to this.

Unschooling could fit anyone because I believe it's highly individual.  Unschoolers come from all walks of life with all sorts of abilities and personalities. So I really do believe anyone could embrace the lifestyle. Many people won't because they've been conditioned to being taught. Many people have situations going  on and just can't embrace it, that's fine too. For those that can and will, it truly is wonderful.

My 4 children are very different, yet all learning, growing and thriving with unschooling. As a facilitator I help each one in the way they need it. So unschooling has many sizes to fit the individual, what's not to love about that?

"School is the advertising agency which makes you believe that you need society as it is." ~ Ivan Illich

Fantasy...or reality?

I'm starting to think I live in a fantasy world where school doesn't exist and children are free to live and learn and be and do and think and grow and create...


Actually that is reality at my house. I wish everyone could experience life with their children not complicated by school. School is an outdated institution, it is unnecessary to life and learning. We do not need to sit in a classroom all day being told what to know and think and be tested and graded.... It makes no sense to me...at all...

Schools as we know them need to be wiped out and started over. I think privatizing schools would create so much good. Little learning centers would start popping up all over the place offering different things. People who wanted or needed a school situation would have so many choices....

I know fantasy right? The only way anything will change is for people to wake up and realize the failed system can't be saved and needs a complete overhaul...But chaos would surely ensue as the sheeple wouldn't know what to do without being told.... Harsh? maybe....but true, yes I believe it is.... Except for those  that escaped the dumbing down and would do something with this new found freedom...

Alas....Until then I'll live in my real world fantasy with my children.

Meeting online friends

We had the pleasure of meeting Jen's family this week, she is the one who blogs at The Path Less Taken

They were on a 3 week family vacation and we were on the end of their trip. I've known Jen online for a few years, I think, I can't really remember when we first met online.

They drove 12 hours that day and came for dinner and stayed almost 5 hours. We had a great time talking, laughing and just being together.

Our kids all got along great and had fun.


Her family is very cool and easy to be around. It was so great to meet unschoolers in person. All of my unschooling friends are online.

We made some nice memories :)

Holding a grudge

Someone is holding a grudge against me and a friend. I honestly don't know what I did. Something happened 2 years ago on my friend's facebook wall, it was political. I don't recall commenting or getting into a debate or anything with this person.

She unfriended me and I still saw her all over the place because we had mutual friends...so I blocked her so I wouldn't have to read anything she said. We have a significantly different political view but I'm friends with lots of people that I don't agree with politically.


She was apparently still subbed to my yahoo group and I sent out a special notice to all members. She replied saying she didn't want anything to do with it after what *you two did to me*

I seriously don't know what I did. I sent her a nice email asking her to tell me what the  problem was....I talked to my friend and I just decided to let it go....

Then today I get an email from her that said *Bite Me*

I am really baffled because I have no idea what her problem is.... I'm letting it go, trying to be the bigger person here... But the feisty part of me wants to reply and tell her to FUCK OFF!

That is why I'm writing about it here, that way I get it off my chest and I can just ignore the bitch. She just better never contact me again though I can't guarantee I'll be so nice next time.

The little girl next door

I mean little, I think she is 3.

She is cute.

She is strong willed, I like that.

She wants to play with Cassie all the time. At first Cassie loved playing with her. But she has proven to be annoying and not listen.

It's not her fault... I won't get into too much detail but she lives with her grandparents(our neighbors) most of the time... Her parents are irresponsible... I won't get into my beef on that.

She is a sweet cute little thing and I want to be kind to her.

She comes over, she just walks in without knocking and she doesn't want to leave...

The truth is that kids like to be at our house, they always have.

While I pride myself on having that environment I suppose we need to draw lines.

When we lived at our old house we were the place to go for the neighbor kids. Two of those kids have become best buds with my kids. Even though we moved we still go get them at least once a week and they come and spend the night

We are the fun house... Sometimes it's exhausting and expensive...

I love kids! I hate that they are subject to their parents fuck ups and have to endure so much bullshit....

That is why we are so inviting.... They don't sense that crap here..

Quiet time

It's so weird now but I get my quiet time in the morning .

That would be my morning 11am to 1ish...

I'm up with the kids well into 2am, sometimes later. Answering questions, listening to them , helping them , feeding them, sometimes we watch a show we recorded.

I go to bed before they do now.

What is holding you back from unschooling?

Once again I have been privy to people say they are: Unschooly, Unschoolish, try to but freak out, some people say I'm unschooling and some don't, I don't care about the label...

I have blogged about this before because you either unschool or you don't. All of those people that say these phrases are not unschooling because if they were they wouldn't say things like that.

If you don't care about the label then why do you use it?

The label is useful for finding others who share your philosophy. Unschooling does mean something, it doesn't mean do what you want and call it unschooling. It doesn't mean we unschool but...we unschool on weekends, after school, we unschool but use a math curriculum.....etc....

In order to unschool you must deschool, it is imperative. You must shift your paradigm and unlearn all the stuff that school taught you about learning.

You must trust the learning process, you must trust yourself and your children.

I'm not trying to tell anyone that they should unschool.

I do get bothered by the muddy waters that these homeschoolers put out there that blurs the lines about what unschooling really is.

You might say so what, who cares?

I do apparently :)

If you aren't willing to examine why you are holding on to school then just admit it and be a homeschooler.

We have unschooled...aka...lived our lives without school all along. It is completely possible to totally unschool.

Living the Unschooling Life

This is my next article at An Unschooling Life.
Please Check it out :)
Thanks!

Grocery Store Exchange

I just had an interesting little conversation with the cashier and bagger at Kroger. I am at this store all the time, kids keep eating :)

It started with hey you are here early(I usually shop later at night) are the kids at home?  I said yes it's too hot and the fact that I'm here now is because we are out of food AGAIN.

He said yep with kids out of school they are home eating more...

I said oh we homeschool.

The cashier: Really? Wow! Do you like it?
The bagger: I could never do that, I love sports...
Me: Yes we love it and homeschoolers can play sports, they can do anything they want to do.
Bagger started talking about school, sports, homework etc....
Cashier said, "And they still learn?"

I said, "We don't do anything like school, we follow our BLISS!"

Her jaw dropped and I rendered her speechless....

I was just thinking no they don't really learn because you can only do that between 8-2, Monday-Friday with a qualified teacher....  BWHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

See, so many people have never even relished the thought of NOT sending kids to school....It blows my mind...

I'm planting seeds and putting it out there all the time!

Growing up...

I experienced separation anxiety yesterday...

Kieran, my first born son flew out to Arizona by himself and will be there for 8 days. He has a wonderful opportunity to meet some family members and visit places like the Grand Canyon. I am happy for him!

I was having some anxiety and just didn't feel well. I teared up a few times, I didn't want him to feel it. He knows I miss him and that it's hard on me.

He has been with me for 16 years, he is my buddy, my right hand man. The only times we were away overnight was when I gave birth to his siblings. That is it!

He is an awesome person, he is bright, intelligent, witty, sarcastic, kind, helpful, responsible, mature...he is down right wonderful....

I look forward to the pictures and the stories that he will share when he returns.

I just don't know how people have a baby, put them in a crib in another room, send them to daycare, preschool, grade school, high school....Away...away... away.....

The time with our kids is precious and short lived, enjoy every moment...I've blogged about bonding before, we have a bond that will last forever.

The time goes to quickly, my baby will be 16 next week... I blinked, he's not a baby anymore, he is a young man who I admire and love.

Why would you choose this?

The older my kids get the more I realize how little time we really have with them. I have always been home with my kids, I didn't have kids to send them away. This was a very important decision to me. I was career oriented, I was in college. I believe that you can't have both successfully, one will suffer and usually it's the children.

I changed my mind, I dropped out of college and had babies. It was one of the best decisions I have ever made.

I just wish that people actually thought before they had children. Pregnancy is preventable....

Children are not convenient and are not something to fit into your life, you need to fit into their life.

We never planned on sending them to school... I can't imagine being apart for 6-8 hours a day/5days a week for 12 years. What kind of family life and relationship do you really have?

It's coming up to that time every year that lots of parents can't wait for school to start. You see it everywhere you go, parents really can't stand to be with their children. It is a sad state to be in. I don't understand why people have kids if they don't want to be with them.

I've had more people than I care to remember say to me about homeschooling...*Oh I could never do that*  They can't stay home and be with their kids, watch them grow and learn and be their partner in life.

I believe that a big part of what is wrong in this country is the public school system and the government getting involved in the family. So many parents turn over the care of their children to the system. I don't even know if it's a conscious decision or they just do it because it's what society preaches. Little kids are groomed that one day they will go to school, adults always ask kids questions that pertain to school. What grade are you in? Do you like your teacher? What did you learn in school today? On and on...

How about we ask kids what they enjoy doing?

It's just a big beef of mine. You can say live and let live.... I try to but I can't NOT say something when it is so clear to me that there is a better way to life than school. I'm advocating for all of those kids with no choice, no respect, no time to be free and think their own thoughts.  So many kids are being stressed beyond belief to pass the test, make the grade etc....

All for what? To join the rat race of mediocrity?

There is so much more to life than school, school is unnecessary.

Why have kids and send them away for someone else to raise? Government schools are the worst place for children to grow up. They need love, nurture, respect, partnership, trust and freedom to grow up healthy, happy and whole people.

What topics are you interested in?

I'm doing a monthly article for An Unschooling Life, my next one comes out next week.

I'm looking for more ideas to write about.

Any questions about unschooling, parenting etc... that you have?