When children explode

I'm sure every child has exploded a time or two but some kids explode from birth.

My precious little boy is the explosive type, he screamed from 1-4 am the first few weeks of his life.

You think by the time you have 4 kids you got it all down pat. Surprise! Each child is unique, while they may have similarities to your other kids they are their own person.

Jared has stretched my parenting to heights I never knew existed. He has shown me his unique perspective and caused me to become a better parent than I thought I was.

I have been consciously practicing not getting emotionally involved or affected by his outbursts.
This has happened over the course of the years he has been here.

I am doing very well separating myself, my issues, the tapes in my head that I've been fed and the things that kids *should* or *shouldn't* say or do.

I fall short once in awhile, usually if I'm tired or hormonal but overall I am able to separate my reaction from his behaviour.

I encourage you to stop the tapes in your head and just be present with your child. Look at that litttle person.

What caused the upset?

Look at how they are flailing their tiny bodies.

Listen to their crys.

Let them get it out.

Put yourself in their position.

Do not take it personally or as a reflection on you because quite frankly it has nothing to do with you.

Try really hard to relate and empathize while just being there for them in whatever capacity they need.

I have found that in Jared's case he needs to get it out and then he is calm and usually comes over and leans on me to get a hug.

We can't let ourselves get caught up in the heat of the moment and be bothered by what they are saying or by their anger.

It is so important to feel what you feel in a safe environment.

I suspect if I had been allowed I wouldn't need therapy as an adult to deal with my childhood.