Sunday, September 17, 2006

Respectful parenting

When I was growing up I was treated poorly, I was treated like a second class citizen and that my opinions didn't matter, I was verbally abused and hit. This treatment came mostly from a stepparent in my early teen years, what a time to be treated like shit.

When I was 14 I moved in with my dad and it took a long time for trust to be built up on both sides. One thing that my dad did for me was listen to me, he respected my opinion even when he didn't agree. I am very thankful that he did that, he still does, he is a public school teacher and he has never said one thing against homeschooling.

When I became a parent I really wanted to do things differently, I did not want to repeat the mistakes of my parents. I mean we all make mistakes but when we know better we do better.
I believe that respect is one of the most important things in a family, it goes both ways. Children that are treated with respect will learn how to be respectful. Of course this has to come from me first, as they grow and learn it will become part of them. Modeling and discussing are such important parts of parenting.

We do not have any rules to be broken or privileges to be taken away, we all live together and boy there is a whole lot to learn from that :)

This is no easy task, I spend a lot of time diffusing conflicts between the kids. Something that I repeat often is *treat each other the way you want to be treated*

I want them to show respect and be respected, we have to learn how to get along and compromise and be flexible. It is also so important to think for yourself and form an opinion and problem solve, I want my kids to have these qualities.

Of course what I want really doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things they have to want it for themselves.

I am hoping to model positive behaviors and qualities for them, of course I'm far from perfect, it seems they pick up on my negative qualities too

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