Quiet time

It's so weird now but I get my quiet time in the morning .

That would be my morning 11am to 1ish...

I'm up with the kids well into 2am, sometimes later. Answering questions, listening to them , helping them , feeding them, sometimes we watch a show we recorded.

I go to bed before they do now.

What is holding you back from unschooling?

Once again I have been privy to people say they are: Unschooly, Unschoolish, try to but freak out, some people say I'm unschooling and some don't, I don't care about the label...

I have blogged about this before because you either unschool or you don't. All of those people that say these phrases are not unschooling because if they were they wouldn't say things like that.

If you don't care about the label then why do you use it?

The label is useful for finding others who share your philosophy. Unschooling does mean something, it doesn't mean do what you want and call it unschooling. It doesn't mean we unschool but...we unschool on weekends, after school, we unschool but use a math curriculum.....etc....

In order to unschool you must deschool, it is imperative. You must shift your paradigm and unlearn all the stuff that school taught you about learning.

You must trust the learning process, you must trust yourself and your children.

I'm not trying to tell anyone that they should unschool.

I do get bothered by the muddy waters that these homeschoolers put out there that blurs the lines about what unschooling really is.

You might say so what, who cares?

I do apparently :)

If you aren't willing to examine why you are holding on to school then just admit it and be a homeschooler.

We have unschooled...aka...lived our lives without school all along. It is completely possible to totally unschool.

Living the Unschooling Life

This is my next article at An Unschooling Life.
Please Check it out :)
Thanks!

Grocery Store Exchange

I just had an interesting little conversation with the cashier and bagger at Kroger. I am at this store all the time, kids keep eating :)

It started with hey you are here early(I usually shop later at night) are the kids at home?  I said yes it's too hot and the fact that I'm here now is because we are out of food AGAIN.

He said yep with kids out of school they are home eating more...

I said oh we homeschool.

The cashier: Really? Wow! Do you like it?
The bagger: I could never do that, I love sports...
Me: Yes we love it and homeschoolers can play sports, they can do anything they want to do.
Bagger started talking about school, sports, homework etc....
Cashier said, "And they still learn?"

I said, "We don't do anything like school, we follow our BLISS!"

Her jaw dropped and I rendered her speechless....

I was just thinking no they don't really learn because you can only do that between 8-2, Monday-Friday with a qualified teacher....  BWHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

See, so many people have never even relished the thought of NOT sending kids to school....It blows my mind...

I'm planting seeds and putting it out there all the time!

Growing up...

I experienced separation anxiety yesterday...

Kieran, my first born son flew out to Arizona by himself and will be there for 8 days. He has a wonderful opportunity to meet some family members and visit places like the Grand Canyon. I am happy for him!

I was having some anxiety and just didn't feel well. I teared up a few times, I didn't want him to feel it. He knows I miss him and that it's hard on me.

He has been with me for 16 years, he is my buddy, my right hand man. The only times we were away overnight was when I gave birth to his siblings. That is it!

He is an awesome person, he is bright, intelligent, witty, sarcastic, kind, helpful, responsible, mature...he is down right wonderful....

I look forward to the pictures and the stories that he will share when he returns.

I just don't know how people have a baby, put them in a crib in another room, send them to daycare, preschool, grade school, high school....Away...away... away.....

The time with our kids is precious and short lived, enjoy every moment...I've blogged about bonding before, we have a bond that will last forever.

The time goes to quickly, my baby will be 16 next week... I blinked, he's not a baby anymore, he is a young man who I admire and love.

Why would you choose this?

The older my kids get the more I realize how little time we really have with them. I have always been home with my kids, I didn't have kids to send them away. This was a very important decision to me. I was career oriented, I was in college. I believe that you can't have both successfully, one will suffer and usually it's the children.

I changed my mind, I dropped out of college and had babies. It was one of the best decisions I have ever made.

I just wish that people actually thought before they had children. Pregnancy is preventable....

Children are not convenient and are not something to fit into your life, you need to fit into their life.

We never planned on sending them to school... I can't imagine being apart for 6-8 hours a day/5days a week for 12 years. What kind of family life and relationship do you really have?

It's coming up to that time every year that lots of parents can't wait for school to start. You see it everywhere you go, parents really can't stand to be with their children. It is a sad state to be in. I don't understand why people have kids if they don't want to be with them.

I've had more people than I care to remember say to me about homeschooling...*Oh I could never do that*  They can't stay home and be with their kids, watch them grow and learn and be their partner in life.

I believe that a big part of what is wrong in this country is the public school system and the government getting involved in the family. So many parents turn over the care of their children to the system. I don't even know if it's a conscious decision or they just do it because it's what society preaches. Little kids are groomed that one day they will go to school, adults always ask kids questions that pertain to school. What grade are you in? Do you like your teacher? What did you learn in school today? On and on...

How about we ask kids what they enjoy doing?

It's just a big beef of mine. You can say live and let live.... I try to but I can't NOT say something when it is so clear to me that there is a better way to life than school. I'm advocating for all of those kids with no choice, no respect, no time to be free and think their own thoughts.  So many kids are being stressed beyond belief to pass the test, make the grade etc....

All for what? To join the rat race of mediocrity?

There is so much more to life than school, school is unnecessary.

Why have kids and send them away for someone else to raise? Government schools are the worst place for children to grow up. They need love, nurture, respect, partnership, trust and freedom to grow up healthy, happy and whole people.

What topics are you interested in?

I'm doing a monthly article for An Unschooling Life, my next one comes out next week.

I'm looking for more ideas to write about.

Any questions about unschooling, parenting etc... that you have?

Kids grow up too fast

Today is Jared's 9th birthday. He was my last baby. We actually thought we were done after 3 kids and were planning on making that official and then I get bit by the baby bug.

You know the baby bug? Every time I saw a baby I got all emotional, I needed another baby...

So Jason saw this reaction keep happening and I told him I wanted another baby and he said OK!

Jared is such a bundle of intense energy. He has caused me to be a better, patient, understanding parent.

I have been his partner all his life, I have run intereference and helped him handle situations that other kids may not have a problem with. We would only go to Jared friendly places so he could be himself.

He was very different from my other babies right from the start. He used to scream from 1-4am the first few weeks of his life....

His perspective is different, he is intense and he thinks deeply and feels deeply.  He is  awesome, talented, artistic, has a photographic memory and can be very focused or get very frustrated.

I love this little boy more than I can express here!

Happy Birthday dear Jared!  I'm so thankful you were born!


Next month my oldest turns 16...WOW!


Enjoy your babies because you blink and they aren't babies anymore!

Real money

Our kids are doing great at saving their money in order to buy something.


Kieran saved up and bought his own computer. He did all of the research and picked all the parts and assembled it at home with his dad.

All three boys have been saving for an XBOX 360 since Christmas. They just got it this week along with a few games and another controller and flash drive for extra memory.

They all still have money left.

We are trying to instill good money habits with our kids. We don't want them in debt like we are. We have learned our lesson about credit cards the hard way.  Jason and I weren't taught to save, we were taught to establish credit....

Kieran works with Jason and earns money and now has his own bank account. The other kids have saved money from Holidays and Birthdays so far.

We are providing the example of a good work ethic and to save and pay cash because then it is yours, you own it!

Kieran's computer is awesome and he did it all and now the boys finally have a new game system.

How do you Unschool?

There is a lot of information about unschooling  on the internet. Some great and some not so great. Two favorites of mine are Sandra Dodd and Joyce Fetteroll

Many people new to the concept just want to know HOW to do it. Where to begin? What do  we do if we don't do school.

My advice is to first deschool. It is imperative to rid yourself of the years of indoctrination. This can take time, hopefully not too long. While you are detoxing from the system allow your child the same courtesy. If they have been in school or homeschooled they need to to undo the damage of schooling.


Children learn through play if  you have young kids you can check out my article.


Unschooling is living and learning, it is natural. School is artificial and school is what you need to leave behind.


Be with your kids, be interesting, curious and inquisitive. Talk about everything, discuss current events or your favorite thing.

We unschool by living our lives. My kids wake up each day and choose what they want to do. They play games, watch tv, look at books, maps, draw, create, imagine, talk, ask, research, explore etc... Each day is new, we all have a loose routine but we take each day as it comes.

Learning is happening all of the time, it's inevitable.

How do you know?

People ask homeschoolers/unschoolers questions like, "How do you know they are learning?"

That is right up there with *What about socialization* for me....

How do you know without testing or grading or curriculum?

How do you know?

Well I live with them for starters, pay attention to your kids and you will be amazed at what they know.

I do have an example.

My middle son reads articles online and then tells me about them. That is reading comprehension, right?

He reads, absorbs, and then reiterates in his own words.

Each day my kids learn so many new things and they explore ideas and concepts and discuss them.


Children absorb and make connections everyday, they are learning beings. I know that they know because they exhibit knowledge and understanding on a daily basis.

Testing, grades and curriculum are unnecessary tools in the game of real life learning.

Those are school tools and they don't measure true knowledge or understanding. They are artificial markers just as school is an artificial environment not conducive to real learning.

The way of the future or the status quo?

I believe that the way of the future will be gotten by unschoolers, out of the box thinkers and entrepreneurs to name a few.

Public school and even homeschoolers following the traditional path are not the wave of the future, they are the status quo.

School is producing more and more cogs in society, just going around that hamster wheel, not inventing anything new or blazing a trail.

Peter Thiel awarded 20 people with $100,000 to start a business and skip college. I believe that these kind of people are what the future needs. We need real change and if we as a society keep staying on the traditional path and don't get out of that box, change isn't going to come.

Some schooled people do escape the box, I did and many of you reading here did, we managed to see through the bullshit and not get dumbed down.

I see homeschooled people going through the same traditional path even after opting out of the system.


I believe that unschoolers are going to be the change. I have seen many grown unschoolers emerging into the world lately. Great things can happen when non traditional ways are followed.

Blake Boles who was an unschooler just started Zero Tuition College
I think it is an awesome idea!

I hope my kids will be entrepreneurs and innovators creating change in this world.

Parenting

My parenting convictions are rooted in trust, respect and partnership.


I have been building a foundation for 16 years. It takes time to establish trust and respect. I parent as a partner with my children. I do not believe in top down rules and arbitration.

I want the lines of communication to be open. My kids can tell me anything without fear of punishment or ridicule or shame. I do not believe in force or coercion, it undermines the child's autonomy.

I have always spoken to my kids like real people who deserve respect. I'm not perfect, I make mistakes, I apologize and do better in the next moment.

My kids are getting older and require a different level of parenting from me. It's so different when they are babies, toddlers and little people. I now have two teens and two coming up on those years quickly.

I expect that we can handle anything that comes up because of the foundation I have worked so hard to build.

As unschoolers, life learners we take everything as it comes. Each child and situation is different and warrants a different approach.

I do my best as a mother to listen to and respect my children's individuality. I never punish or shame or take anything away. I think it's wrong to act like that.

When a behavior or situation arises I want to get to the why. Acting out is always a symptom, but getting to the heart of the matter is more important than worrying about the behavior.


Talk, ask, listen, discuss, listen some more, connect and be where they are at.


They grow up so fast, I want their childhood to be pleasant and something they look back on with fondness.

Riptide

Why? I just don't get it!

I honestly don't get why the majority of people send their kids to school.

It is an artificial environment set up based on age segregation. Kids are locked away for 9 or more months of the year then let out on break only to be shuffled away to something else.   Summer school, summer camp, vacation bible school etc....

Kids don't get much time to just be kids, relax, think, reflect, choose their own path....Every waking moment is scheduled so after 12 years of in the box indoctrination they graduate into the real world.

Many can't read well, articulate a thought or do real math... Why do people believe that school is where they go to get an education? Many parents think school is teaching their kids what they need to know and don't supplement their learning by real life application.   I know there are involved parents that send their kids to school and I don't know why they bother.

Who wants that kind of education anyway?

School is nothing more than government babysitting. I'm sorry for those that are neglected at home and school is also a free meal and a place to get away from home. Those instances are rare though, at least I hope they aren't the norm.

I just stand here in awe and watch people send their kids away each year for what I don't know...

Now it's graduation time or what I affectionately call * I survived indoctrination and all I got was this lousy piece of paper*

Until people wake up to the purpose of government education our society will keep spiraling downward into the depths of sheeplehood.

I leave you with this quote:


"School is the advertising agency that makes you believe you need society as it is."

Ivan Illich

My first little article

http://anunschoolinglife.com/unschooling-the-early-years/

Writing

I keep saying I'm not a writer in person and I know I've written it here before.

I need to stop criticizing myself.

The reason I say I'm not a writer is because I have friends who are writers. I don't paint pictures or tell beautiful stories. I do tell it plain and simply, that is how I write.

There are all kinds of writers and I'm just different, doesn't mean I suck, like I think I do...

I can talk to you and answer questions about unschooling and parenting. It's so easy for me to share my philosophy in person.

I had a wonderful conversation with my aunt that I hadn't seen in 22 years. She was a school teacher for 35 years and was asking me about homeschooling. I explained what we do and how we live and she was open and said so it's like *organic learning*   Yes! See I can explain it well. I lose something between mouth and fingers though. I could dictate and have someone else write :)

That was the best talk I've ever had with a teacher, it was nice and she was so thrilled to learn what we do. She loved the kids and could clearly see that what we do was working.

Why this post?

I was asked to write an unschooling article and I'm not sure how I did... If it gets published I'll let you know.

The loss of friendship...

I had a best bud in high school, we did lots of stuff together, not all legal or right.... 

We were there for each other's tough life...

Jason and I moved to CA and we lost touch for a few years....Reconnected by phone when I was pregnant with Kieran....lost touch for several years...

We moved to PA and somehow I found her and she was in PA just a couple hours away... We had all 4 kids by then...She drove up for a visit and it was really great.


We moved to TN...she moved to another state...we found each other online again....

Then we connected on  Facebook and  found out that we have nothing in common.

As a matter of fact my views on schooling and vaccines put us at odds... Other things as well...

I just realized the other day that she unfriended me.... I guess even with our history she can't get past our differences....

Too bad, but oh well, nothing I can do, I'm leaving it and her alone....

Good - Bye!

Why is it better?

I was asked, "Why is homeschooling better than public schooling?"

I use the term homeschool lightly, there is a wide spectrum of styles. This website has the methods listed down on the left hand column.

We fall under unschooling, we don't do school at all. We live and learn period.

Some reasons why I believe home is better are :

Freedom to learn what, how and when you want. 

Freedom to eat when hungry, sleep when tired, use the bathroom as needed without permission.

Freedom from being graded and tested.

Freedom to be who you are, to figure out who you are, your likes, dislikes, strengths, weaknesses, interests, style, hobbies etc. without being forced to conform.

Having control over your own mind and body.

Real, natural learning.

Learning in your own way and time.

Not having to conform to school standards.

Closer family.

Freedom from school schedules and constraints.

Living and learning in the real world, real life, not an artificial environment such as school.

Pictures for the indoor hockey arenas...

Jared and Brenny play hockey in the kitchen and living room so Jared made signs for the arenas.