The loss of friendship...

I had a best bud in high school, we did lots of stuff together, not all legal or right.... 

We were there for each other's tough life...

Jason and I moved to CA and we lost touch for a few years....Reconnected by phone when I was pregnant with Kieran....lost touch for several years...

We moved to PA and somehow I found her and she was in PA just a couple hours away... We had all 4 kids by then...She drove up for a visit and it was really great.


We moved to TN...she moved to another state...we found each other online again....

Then we connected on  Facebook and  found out that we have nothing in common.

As a matter of fact my views on schooling and vaccines put us at odds... Other things as well...

I just realized the other day that she unfriended me.... I guess even with our history she can't get past our differences....

Too bad, but oh well, nothing I can do, I'm leaving it and her alone....

Good - Bye!

Alone in my thoughts

I went to the park today with some homeschoolers we meet with and am utterly exhausted from not getting much sleep.

We don't do mornings, we didn't get there until 1 ish, but we are all so tired.

Anyhoo, I just sit and listen and interject a comment here or there.

I am so far off the spectrum that I just decided to *smile and wave*

I really, really, really want to meet a family with similar interests and philosophies and if they kept later hours like us that would be a bonus, oh and in my neighborhood or close proximity.

Thanks!

Asking too much?

I think not!

It will happen I know it, we can't be the only ones around...

I'm not saying anything against these folks, I like them I'm just sooooo different.

finding like minded people

It's time to make some new friends.

I want to find some unschoolers but relaxed homeschoolers would be great too.

It would even be better to find someone who keeps similar hours as we do so we could hang out when it's natural and not have to make ourselves get up and go before we are ready.

It seems that some things come in seasons, people in our lives are there for a bit but don't always last.

We were very close to a family a few years ago but we have drifted apart.

We are on different paths and have different interests. Our kids do different things now and quite frankly we haven't gotten together in a long time.

We don't fit into their crowd... christian homeschoolers.

I guess I want it to be easy to meet others with similar interests.

I don't want to travel far, it's not my thing.

We do have a group that we get together with once in awhile but they all have girls. That works great for only one of my kids, my boys need friends too.

I'm the only unschooler I know in person.

Special friends

Jared taught his buddies how to play Texas Holdem.

I found her!!!!

I knew persistence pays off, I found my friend!

I love the internet!

I was searching and all that kept coming up were services that you have to pay for.

I finally remembered where she went to college and knew she had a published paper so I found her that way.

When we found each other in PA, it had been 10 years since we were in contact. I thought she fell off of the planet.

She visited us twice and it was so great to see her.

Things are so different than either of us planned.

My best friend who my dad thought was a bad influence on me is now a Ph.D.

T (I'll call her T) and I are the reason that Michelob Classic Dark stayed in business 20 years ago. They don't make it anymore...

We had so much fun together, we went through so many things, good and bad and plain heart wrenching.

She has come out on top and I am so proud of what she overcame.

I overcame a lot too, we just had different shitty circumstances.

I am just thankful to have found her and she has also left PA and is about 7 hours from me.

My friend Jewls knows the road trip, I don't want to give details of her life without her knowledge.

WooHoo!!!!

get together

Yesterday was our weekly get together with the homeschoolers we have been meeting.

We went to Pump it Up, it is a place that has those huge blow up bouncy things the kids can jump and slide and bounce away on.

Of course they had a blast.

I was able to talk with a few moms, it is so weird that I am not the one chasing toddlers, nursing babies or changing diapers anymore.

Wow!

It is a fact that my kids really are growing up, we have been out of the baby stage for awhile now and it is bittersweet.

I enjoy watching the others with their little ones but I don't have that longing anymore.

I am happy to watch my children grow and wait for grandbabies.

We met our group there but also some friends that we haven't seen in a long time were there too, they also homeschool.

She is always picking my brain and asking me questions, she is very intrigued by radical unschooling. She talks to all sorts of homeschoolers to get a feel of where they are and how they do things.

She uses me as a reference point, which is funny. She is very relaxed in their homeschooling but she gets nervous if a few days go by and she feels like they didn't *do* enough reading or math or whatever. She told me that is when she thinks of me and wonders what I would do and knows that I don't *do school* of any sort.

I told her I am far off the spectrum and that I don't know anyone in person who is where I am but I have a few online friends who are.

An evening with moms

The homeschool group that I have been going to has decided to do a moms night once a month.

Tonight we met at a coffee shop that had live music.

I hardly ever leave the house without Jared, he brings new meaning to attachment parenting, but he is almost 6 1/2 and he has let me leave him twice this month.

I told him that just the moms would be there, no kids, he asked me about the dads. I told him the dads were staying home with the kids so the moms could meet.

He was ok with it :)

We had a great time, good conversation, we are still getting to know each other.

It's so funny because all I have ever done is try to make social networks for my kids but in the process I have met some great ladies.

We all get along and we are learning more about each other and accepting where we are at in life.

It was fun, I had a cafe mocha for my inquiring friends, if you can mix coffee and chocolate you are on to something wonderful.

Jared called me because I told him I would be an hour and it turned into two, we were just conversing freely.

He was so cute and told me he missed me and informed me that I missed Numb3rs, one of my favorite shows.

I told him it was ok, I would watch it online and I would be home soon.

It's nice to make friends, I am so alone in my beliefs sometimes that I can forget there are others out there who may just understand where I'm coming from.

Cassie is so excited because she is making new friends with all of the girls, she has been surrounded by boys all of her life.

Life is good, chocolate, coffee, friends, wine, I'm a happy camper :)

Now if my hormones would cooperate... LOL!

I won't bore you, I'm working on it, my hormones cause my blood pressure surges.

Oh joy!

Sunday

Good food.
Good wine.
Good friends.

We are blessed.

Real friends

Where to begin?

Tonight we met in person but we have known each other online for 1 1/2 years so it was just like old friends hanging out.

Wow! We just ate and talked and the kids played and it was just so cool.

Julie you are so awesome! I loved just sitting here talking, and your kids are so cool.

Brennan told me that it seemed like he met Kullen before, he wasn't a stranger, he was a kid he already knew.
That speaks volumes coming from Brennan, very comfortable, very real.

Cassie was so excited to meet real live teenage girls and Jared was just excited to meet all of you.

Kieran and Jason had a great time too :)

I love the internet, we would have never met otherwise.

It is so wonderful to know that the person behind those cyber words is a living breathing human being.







Cassie, Kaitlyn, Kendra, Julie, Stephanie, Kullen, Jared

Julie and me :)

All of the kids, we took these right before they left, it was late and everyone was still smiling :)

I don't even know what to say, you guys rock I loved just hangin out and being ourselves.

I keep writing and deleting ...ugh it's 3:18 am and I must get to bed :)

Love ya girlfriend, talk soon!

for my friend

If you feel so inclined please check this out from Jewls

It's an interactive planner called The Master Plan.

I feel the love

Thank you my friends!

I appreciate your encouraging words, thank you for taking the time to comment.

Thanks to all who read and don't comment too, I understand that sometimes you just don't know what to say.

meeting people

I met a homeschooler!

Cassie is in soccer now and practice is twice a week, on Tuesday a mom introduced herself to me and all the while Jared and I talked with her older son.

I felt totally cool and comfortable with them, we met her dh too.

Today I saw her again and we sat next to each other and just talked freely.
Guess what?
DUH!

They are homeschoolers from day one, kids never in school. She is very relaxed, they have some curriculum around but she learned that they don't do well if they follow it. They are very go with the flow people, not unschoolers but a relaxed, not uptight homeschooler is awesome to find.

We are just getting to know each but we have many commonalities already.

For one she is a believer but doesn't go to church, how cool is that? We talked briefly about God and that we both believe it's about personal relationship opposed to institutions. I told her about Gatto, she didn't know of him, my book is loaned out but when I get it back I'll loan it to her.

Just one of those people that I felt connected with, I love that, we'll see how time goes on, we might become good friends.

Friends

I LOVE YA SISTA'!!!

Girlfriend and Sister's Week

I am only as strong as the coffee I drink, the hairspray I use and the friends I have.

To the cool women that have touched my life. Here's to you!

Contest

My friend Jewls has created an awesome planner and I am just spreading the word. Go check it out.

http://jewlsntexas.blogspot.com/2008/05/drumroll-please-master-plan-is-ready_30.html

Fish out of water

Do you ever feel totally out of place in a group setting?

Anyone who knows me knows that I'm not one who tries to fit in, I am a non-conformist and always have been. It's a big thing that Jason and I have in common, we are glad we don't *fit in* BUT... we must get along with those that we have nothing in common with.

Must we?

We just spent several hours with people that we have nothing in common with, we are so different and it shows. I am just not into the little clique's, I never was, this is why I really don't like women. No offense! I have come to really value and appreciate many of you I have met online and I have about 2 real life friends. It's just easier to hang with the guys...

I don't even know how much to say lest I be found out, I mean people show up here by google searches everyday. Oh well...

We were at a friend's house with their friends from church, all homeSCHOOLERS. I am very disturbed by parenting practices that demand respect but don't give any. One phrase I heard after minutes of walking in the door was a child saying, "I know" and the mother saying, "It's not I know, it's yes ma'am." Ouch, I know this is the south but I don't agree with this and I actually have seen these people treat their children less than more than once.

I tried to get along, I kept sitting next to them I even interjected a comment here and there but they weren't really talking to me anyway.

I really don't know what they think about me or what my friend has told them. I'm sure she speaks kindly of us.

Jared did have a couple loudbursts and he had reason to. One was an accident involving a hockey puck and his brother. The other one was soon before we left, several were playing a game and there were two teams, Jared was on the team he wanted to be on and then someone wanted to trade and wanted him to trade. He didn't want to, he came storming into the house and yelling it made no sense, he wants to be on this team and if he can't be then he quits.

I took him outside and tried to find out what was going on and calm him down, but he was really upset. Jason came out and carried him and talked with him and walked with him and he finally calmed down. It was so stupid I'm sick of others making up rules with no regard of how they play out in reality.

Jason was playing with them the night before, it was a friend's birthday and they had them over. Jason wasn't doing anything wrong, just walking around stretching his back but he was supposed to be in jail and it was against the rules to walk around, he said, "I don't follow the rules very well." LOL!!! This is my husband speaking to other adults for crying out loud, it's a freakin game already.

YIKES!!!!

We came home and had lots to talk about and I haven't even scratched the surface of our issues. We have decided that next time we are invited to a thing with the same people that we will be busy.

A trip to the zoo

Here is JW1 and JW2 on the merry -go- round.

Kate and Cassie.

We had beautiful weather yesterday so we decided to go to the zoo, well apparantly everyone else in the greater Nashville area had the same idea. I have never seen so many people there, it was so packed.

We ran into some friends and had a good time, I got to see my girls too, they need a bath :)

I Love the Internet

I love the internet for so many reasons...

Being unschoolers for one, we love having information at our fingertips, Google is our friend.

The latest thing I've been googling is caucus and primary, like in WTF are they :)

I don't know about you but I do not remember covering that in school and if we did it wasn't relevant to my life so I don't remember it. What really is relevant to a child's life at that time that it is covered in school anyway??? Well I digress not going on a public school rant.

I was talking with Kieran about how I am planning to learn whatever I can about the election process this year. We learned a bit 4 years ago and followed the election and charted some of it, I plan to go deeper this time. He is interested about the process and the candidates and where they stand on issues. He will just miss the next election, he'll be 17. The same thing happened to me, my first election was 1992, I voted for Ross Perot, you bet your sweey bippy, independant business man... I digress again...

This was not intended to be a political post, but I will say I am on the fence at this point and will continue to do the research. In case you care I will not be voting for the socialist, the baptist or the mormon (who has my maiden name, btw) That much I am sure of.

So what am I getting at I love the internet for all of the unschooling info and groups and cyber friends. I love the blogs and the articles, the sharing of unschooling lives and learning.

The internet has also brought me some real life friends as well. About 6 months ago we met an unschooling family that we love to hang out with. Now we are meeting a new family next week that literally lives about 6 miles from me. WOW! The internet is awesome, I would have not met these people otherwise, how could we? So we are excited to be seeing our friends tomorrow and meeting new ones next week :)

Giving and receiving

They say (whoever *they* are) that it is better to give then to receive. I understand the concept but that doesn't make the one on the receiving end feel that great. We all give and we all receive one is not better then the other.

We have been in a position many times that we have been on the receiving end. I posted just a couple months ago how we just made it through a very tough time. We have been talking about being sick of being on the receiving end and hoping that soon we will have the ability to give.

Giving comes in many forms, it's not just monetary, it can be giving time or service as well. In those times that we know someone in need and aren't able to do anything physical we can always pray that God will provide someone who can help.

I have also realized that when someone gives we aren't supposed to pay them back. You know the feeling you have if someone gives you money or helps you out in some way, you want to pay them back. I think that instead we need to pay it forward, we need to help another in their time of need.

Of course we are thankful to those that help us but we shouldn't feel obligated. I believe it is best to give from the heart without ulterior motives or strings attached. God loves a cheerful giver.

It is hard not to feel like we owe them but I believe it is part of the giving and receiving process. One gives then another then another and so many people get help when needed because one person stepped out. I do believe that what comes around goes around and I believe that everything has a purpose.

The giver and receiver are both blessed and are able to keep the process going. If you look back over times of hardship or abundance I believe that you will see where the giving and receiving happened.

The Lord has layed it heavy on my heart tonight, we are blessed to give and to receive.

Friends

I am enjoying getting to know many women in my online contacts.

I have never been the social one or needed a lot of friends, especially women, LOL!

In highschool I had 3 girlfriends, they were all different and they were not friends with each other, they were acqainted only becuase of me.

As I got older and moved I really didn't have any true friend's, just lots of casual friends and acquaintences. All of those years in church didn't produce any real friends either.

In PA, I joined a home ed group and met other mothers but didn't see them outside of the monthly meeting, well except one, we did get a little closer because my dd and hers were friends. She was also relaxed and liked to hear me talk about unschooling.

Then I met someone and we clicked and it felt great to be friends, I mean the come over and hang out and chat kind of friend.

Recently I made another true friend, we hit it off and so did our kids. So I have 2 real friends that I can talk to and hang out with. Except for Jason he was and is and always will be my very best friend. I was talking about women though, I have always had tons of male friends, they are so much easier and a lot less maintenance. Actually this is kind of funny because Jason has always had lots of women friends, he has a few close guy friends but the women love him, always have :)

I have casual friends, I'm not really needy and I don't want one that I have to work hard at. If we get along that's great but if we don't I'm not forcing it. You know the kind of people you meet and it's a chore just for conversion to flow, I have met some moms like that at homeschool groups.

This brings me to my online friends, so many of you are becoming a part of my life. I look forward to checking blogs and emails to see what you are doing. I love the comments that are left for me and I try to comment on your blog so you know I was there.

I feel blessed to have so many friends, it happened without really trying hard, some of us connect at different levels and some of us are casual.

I hope to continue to get to know you and I look forward to meeting new friends as my online community grows.

What is the meaning of life?

LOL! Beats me, let me in on it if you know!!
Ok so I haven't been online much lately, 2 computers 6 people, do the math!

I have tried to go to bed early well for 2 days anyway. One night by 1:45am still awake until 4:00, the next night by 12:30 awake until 2:30am. So my theory remains the same, going to bed earlier does not insure more sleep or even rest for that matter.

My kids also went to bed earlier but Cassie came in at least 3 times to tell me she couldn't sleep. Jared who sleeps in our bed did not want to stay up without me so he came to bed and babbled for like an hour. He asked me all sorts of questions and I told him that I was really tired and couldn't talk, LOL! So he finally falls asleep and there I am still awake, sheesh.
Everytime I try to go to bed earlier it backfires, but I figure I'll give it a shot :)

The truth is we were more tired and definitely had some cranky issues. So I say go to bed when you want and wake up when you want! I have always said that but sometimes I do these little experiments to keep me on my toes.

So much to say where to begin? Well you all know that we love unschooling, we love the freedoms we have. Case in point, our new friends who are unschoolers and free in other areas also... Our kids will talk on the phone while playing computer games until well into the night. Usually our phone battery dies then they have to say good-bye. The freedom to do that is really wonderful.

Last weekend our neighbor's went out of town and the grandma stayed with the kids. The boy called up Brenny and they were playing Runescape and talking on the phone and he said his grandma didn't care if he was up and that he wanted to stay up all night. This is no big deal to Brennan who goes to bed when he wants but it was huge to W, he told Brenny that it was *my day* so funny he is 8 years old and partying while mom and dad are away... They stayed up until 6:30am.

Such a small thing to us but a huge thing to him to stay up all night like it's something magical.
Actually Brennan just told me that W said that he is going to homeschool his kids that he doesn't ever want them to go to school, he is 8!!!

I know that we are having a profound affect on these kids lives and are showing them a glimpse of how things can be. They practically live here, just tonight another example of someone else's rules... They spent all day here from like 12:30 to 5:30, then they went somewhere and W came back around 6:30 and said that he could play in our yard, front or back but not in the house. Brennan told me he didn't feel like playing outside right now, of course I told him he didn't have to but he needs to tell W.

Shouldn't it be up to me whether or not they are in MY house??? Oh well so W went home, and tomorrow is back to school, they have had a 2 week break.

More and more my kids realize how different things can be from one house to the next, I always knew. The thing is if the opportunity doesn't present itself I really have no business saying anything. That is what is so hard even with our own friends we really have to be careful what we say but we can definitely be examples.