Entrepreneur

Our oldest son worked at Wendy's for the past 15 months, he just left this weekend. They hated to see him go, they loved him, he showed up on time and did his job. They offered him a management position, but he knew the salary just wasn't worth the hours and the stress.

He has been planning on starting his own business for quite sometime now. Learning, researching, saving his money and buying equipment and products. He has finally launched it, he has only done a few jobs so far and customers are very pleased with his work.

We are just so proud of him for finding something he loves to do and to be able to make money and be his own boss. We raised them to follow their interests and passion and to be anything they want to be.

I believe that he will be successful in this because it is what he wants and he is willing to work for it.

Here is a link to his Facebook page, he will be getting a website up soon.
https://www.facebook.com/Glossworksmd?fref=ts

school, bullies,choice

Today on facebook, a friend mentioned how she hated sending her child to school when she felt like she was walking into a lion's den.

I would not send my child to school ever but under these circumstances wouldn't you reconsider things?

Especially with all of the media coverage about bullying and suicides.

I just don't understand how you can set your child up for abuse. School is bad enough but add in bullies and the stress can be unbearable.

I know that everyone won't homeschool, can't for whatever reason, but many people can and choose not to.

I feel so bad for all of these kids being treated less than human, being abused, ridiculed and picked on.

For what?

Surly not an education. School has nothing to do with education. School is an outdated, obsolete institution that's sole purpose is to control the masses and babysit kids while their parents work or worse have *me time*

So yes, it's their choice to send their kids to school and it's my choice not to.

Do I agree?   Hell no.

Do I respect people who send their kids away?

What do you think?

Unschool article/chores

My friend Joanne posted an unschooling article and it was a good piece but one thing stood out to both of us.

The kids had required chores every morning before they could get on with their day.

I know some people just unschool academics which really makes no sense to me.

We live and learn.

We don't have arbitrary rules and chores.

Here's my take on it.

If someone required me to do x,y and z before I could get on the computer I would be mad to say the least.

I get up and I check my email while I have my coffee. My friends live in my computer, I love my computer.

I have grown close to many people and we keep up with each other daily. If I don't hear from someone in a couple days, I'll email them and make sure they are ok.

Our kids have a life too.
It could be their video game, or tv show, or they want to go outside, or play with a friend or whatever they like to do when they get up.

Nobody should be *required* to do anything upon waking.

What a way to start each day, dreading a chore or moping around because you HAVE to do something before you can get on with your life.

I'll do the dishes and laundry when I am ready, it could be 3pm or 10pm, does it really matter? Is there some law that says dishes shall be done before playing?

Heck, now if it's nice out I get my butt outside for fresh air and sunshine, dishes can wait.

I wasn't always this easy, I am a compulsive, control freak, I used to clean before going out. I used to make sure all the dishes were done before I went to bed. Who wants to wake up to a sink full?

Life has it's way of happening and I have been on crutches for 6 weeks. My kids have been doing the dishes. Dishes aren't that high on a kids priority list until there aren't any clean ones and they want a bowl of cereal. Then they wash a bowl and spoon so they can eat, they they think hey maybe it's time to wash some dishes.

I'm not saying let things go and pile up, I'm just saying change your perspective and don't let household tasks take over your life.

I personally don't mind dishes or cleaning in general but I have learned to let go and just go with the flow.

Back to kids and chores.

I just don't believe in assigning chores to kids or adults.

We live together, we work together, let's just do what needs to be done.

Dishes

Dishes are fun!

That is what Cassie told me tonight.

She has been doing the dishes the past few days and she likes it!

Who knew?

I have never required her to wash dishes :)

The boys don't think dishes are fun but hey, they are missing out!

true choice

Let me backtrack a second...

Cassie has started watching the Brady Bunch and Little House on the Prairie. I get LH on Netflix for her.

TV Land plays them both on weekends starting at 2 am. Yesterday she was ecstatic that it was Saturday so she could watch Brady Bunch.

It wasn't on last night, she cried. I looked online, they don't play full episodes of it, I checked Netflix, no instant play.

I checked the listings and it is on tonight. She was still upset last night but I found a movie for her on instant play that she likes and that helped a little bit.

She is going to stay up and watch all of it tonight, 2 episodes of each that will bring her to 5 am before she goes to bed.

I asked her if she was sure about watching it all and she said yes she is planning on it.

I guess I'm just saying that it is her choice to stay up and watch and fall asleep afterwards.

That is real freedom of choice.

Christian or not? or what?

Some of you will know exactly what I'm talking about and some of you won't.



I'm not judging anyone for their choices or beliefs, I did enough if that when I was holier than thou.



Over the past few days I've been talking with others who are on this same path.



For the past few years I have been undoing what 10 years in the church did to me.



It wasn't all bad and I'm not badmouthing anyone in particular.



I have come full circle I guess, I have gone back to the beliefs of my youth.



I believe in God, I believe in creation, I believe in prayer and I believe that God hears me.



I don't need to go to church to believe.



Sometimes he answers too.



I always prayed when I was younger, I wasn't living in a manner that some would call a believer.



No matter where I was or what was going on I knew that God loved me and he was watching out for me.



In 1994 I was baptized and attended the Church of Christ for 10 years. I went through many changes, I also had 4 kids during that time. I learned alot about the Bible and heard many a man preach the gospel.



I became the *perfect Christian* remember when I do something I do it *right*



I also lost a little bit of myself by trying to be something I wasn't. I also looked down on the weak, judged people, I even went up against my grandpa about baptism being essential for salvation. He was the most *christian* person I have ever known and I was telling him like it was.



Anyway I have come to the conclusion that I'm really not a christian anymore. Not in some manmade idea of christianity. I don't prescribe to any religion or teachings or thou shalt nots.



I believe in relationship with God, he created me, he knows me, he loves me.



If a christian just was someone who believes in Christ that would be fine but it's turned into this whole religion and churchianity. Christians are not all nice and fuzzy, some are downright judgmental.



So I am continuing on this journey called life trusting in my creator and praying a lot.

No Schedules

There really is simple beauty in not having to adhere to strict schedules.



We are so blessed to be able to run our day as it comes. Sure we have a routine, I think that most people do.



After the kids were sick last week I just realized how great it is that we didn't HAVE to go to school or anywhere. We could just do what we needed to do to take care of the situation.

We do what we want most days, when we do have an appointment or are meeting up at a certain time it does cause some stress.

I love how our days ebb and flow and I love the fact that we are free and have the choice in how to spend our day.

Last week is a blur.

Just tonight Jason was asking me about something that was supposed to be taken care of a week ago but he thought it was today.

I said no that was the 8th, he said what is today then, I said the 15th, he was just wondering how he missed a week. I reminded him that the kids were sick and it was a wash.

He does have an 8-5 job with slight flexibility. I mean he could go in late or leave early when needed. We really want to start our own business so he can be here and have more freedom but right now we are just so thankful that he has a job.

To bring this around to unschooling and living and learning and following our interests, you just can't schedule real learning. Learning happens, life happens it's what we do with it that matters.

I am thrilled to report that the sickness is past and the sounds in my house are back to normal.

Lots of playing going on, imagination abounds. A little arguing too :)

My kids follow their interests and do so many things throughout the day. Not one bit looks like school and all of it is learning.

I little while ago I walked in my room to see price tags on all of our stuff, I guess they were having a sale...

I can't possibly list everything they do and you probably aren't interested.

Parenting Peacefully

If you want to live peacefully make the most peaceful choices.

Peace is all about choices.

Choose to breathe consciously.
Choose understanding over ignorance.
Choose to make choices.
Choose awareness over oblivion.
Make choices based on the principles you live by.

~Sandra Dodd

No chores?

Since this has been a hot topic lately I thought I would just give my straight answer right here.

Families live together, learn together and work together.

I will freely admit to doing all the cleaning as my kids were young. They of course as toddlers would want to help. As they grew I would keep them with me and talk to them. I have never forced my children to do any chores.

As they are getting a little older they are helping out more. I ask for help and they usually help. This wasn't always the case, sometimes I would get a grumble, so we talk about why. If they are in the middle of something and I ask one to feed the dog or something, they tell me they will do it when they are done. It's nobody's job to feed the dogs, most days it gets down without asking.

My kids know how to sweep, mop, vacuum, run the washer, do dishes, feed the animals, clean the toilet etc. They know how from watching and from doing.

When the house gets messy I just ask for everyone to pitch in and we can get it down fast. Most days I just go around picking things up or moving them to the right room as I walk through the house.

My kids make lots of messes and they are usually willing to help out.

Some more than others, a lot is personality.

We talk about cleaning and how we all live here and it is nice if we can all keep it liveable.

I still do the majority of cleaning and ask for help as I see fit.

I want my kids to help from their heart not from force.

The beauty really shines when they just go and do something without being asked but because they wanted to.

A recent example is last week Kieran weeded the flower bed in front of the house, he did it as a surprise for his dad.

Awhile ago I woke up and both boys were doing the dishes.

Kieran likes to clean the bathroom, although he hasn't done it lately. Sometimes he sweeps and mops the floors. Cassie likes to wash windows and dust.

This is not an everyday occurance, it is intermittent but it is important because it isn't forced.

Cassie asked me to help her clean her room last night and she really did a lot. Usually I clean it because it gets overwhelming for her.

As they grow and mature it really gets easier.

My attitude is also that if I am the one who wants to clean then I'll just clean.

Life is too short to get worked up about these kind of things.

Childhood is really short and I do not want my kids to spend it doing chores.

The hours we keep

I am a night owl that is no secret but so are my kids. Some days I barely get a moment of silence where I do not have to do anything for anybody. Lately it comes after 4am, Jared just fell asleep, Cassie is still up, the boys are sleeping.

I have no idea how to turn us around a little. I do not do mornings and really have no desire to but I admit it was nice when the kids were asleep by 1am. I won't impose any bedtime on them because... well I won't. They still fall asleep when they are ready to fall asleep. Sometimes I go to bed before them but I don't sleep anyway so what's the point?

What is my point? At this point I have no point, LOL! I just need a few moments of quiet and well if I want it I wait for it :)

We have no reason to keep different hours, I never do anything before noon, I suppose it is what it is. If we have a good reason to change then we will. I'm just glad that stores are open at night and that life doesn't stop because it's dark :) I love the night, I come alive after midnight, it's just natural for me.

Kids Club

It's not what you think, or is it, how do I know what you think?

The neighbors were here today, we haven't seen them in a week, this is very rare. I thought maybe it was the cold weather.

I asked them where they have been after school and W said *kids club*, I'm like "What is that?"

It's an afterschool program where we get to do our homework and then play in the gym after everyone leaves. I said *OH really, is that fun* He said * Yeah I like it*
I was asking if it was everyday or just when his parents were at work. He told me it is some days and that his mom works at kids club now.

His mom has changed jobs 3 times in the past few months. I swear my personality is just screaming *STAY HOME AND TAKE CARE OF YOUR KIDS WOMAN!!!!!!!

I know we all make choices but these kids go to school against their will, I have blogged about this before. I have not had an open door to say something and we are polar opposites in parenting. Jason lost it tonight, it was 52 degrees today the warmest it's been in a few weeks. Cassie wanted to play outside, it was like 6pm, J went home and came back and said that her mom said that she can't play outside because it's cold. BWHAA!!!!!! They can't play in the rain or get dirty either, and when it's hot, no sprinkler, can't get wet, dear God I may have to do laundry...

This was not supposed to be a rant on stupid parenting, I've done my share of those. But really folks is this logical, hell no! I am a logical person and stupid shit just doesn't fly with me. My husband is so much in line with me it is awesome !

Quote

"If I had a normal childhood, I would have nothing to write about"

Sidda Lee Walker ~ Divine Secrets of The Ya-Ya Sisterhood

I love this and it rings so true for me, I have so much to deal with and recover from that I may never run out of things to say.

My kids are better off because of my upbringing, because I vowed to never treat them the way I was treated.

Something my dad said...

I called my dad tonight to talk and wish him Merry Christmas, we talked for 1 1/2 hours, we haven't spoke since Father's day.

He actually mentioned more than once how he hasn't heard from me in a long time, I did email him a link to pics that he never got

We don't talk much, it's hard, we are soooo different BUT I do try to keep in touch.

He said something that has been bothering me all night, I usually let things roll off my back but this one is sticking.

He said that my kids spend too much time with me and that I need to farm them out.

I just danced around that and really internalized it.
I did NOT have kids to FARM THEM OUT!!!!!! Hello!!!! He is a PS teacher if that helps.

He respects my choices and does not cause trouble but his comments do get to me on occasion.

YA THINK!!!

NO farming out, no Public School, NO shit!!!!!

Ok I feel much better now and my kids are happy :)