Stress...faith...realism

Why do some of us feel stress and internalize it and get ill, or externalize it and be mean. Why do some of us just relax and let things roll off our backs?

No worries mate!
Don't worry, be happy!

I am the type of person that can worry, I try not to, I am concerned, I want to know what will happen and how it will happen and when it will happen, yeah I know that isn't possible.

I am a realist, I call it like I see it, I'm honest, forthright, I do not have my head in the clouds. At the same time I have been trying to be more positive, this is what we have and we have an abundance. I am trying not to dwell on the problems or what we don't have. I am trying to keep my chin up and be faithful. I believe that God will provide the way, he ALWAYS does, not always in my time frame, well what is in my time frame??? I want answers now, I am not the most patient person, which is funny because so many people tell me I have patience when they see me with my children. I sure don't have enough, I want it all and I want it now. Patience is not a virtue it's a pain in the ass, it is hard and long and not something I am good at.

When I ask for someone to do something, I expect them to do it now... Which is why I am a terrible delegator, I just as soon do everything myself than ask for help BUT when I ask(it means I need it) I expect it.

These are trying times, things are not hunky dory, I'm trying to be real here like my friend Julie has been lately.

Jason and I had a long talk tonight and he laid it out for me and I am taking it to heart, I have prayed a ton, I always do and God always comes through.

Anyway praying and trying not to worry are not enough for me, I can't help it, all it takes is one thing and then it's all down hill, a slippery slope. One thing leads to another and another, now I'm channeling The Fixx.

Give it to me straight, here it is, let's just say we lose everything, I mean everything, worst case scenario.

We will still have our family, we have US, who cares about the stuff, we have our family!

He is such a good man, I don't know how he puts up with me :)

Children living in fear

Tonight was another example of how different we parent than others.

The kids were here and they were playing outside in the mud and having fun. They needed to wash off and so they hosed off their feet but little J got her clothes wet.

It's bad enough that they *aren't allowed* to do anything fun, why do you think they spend every moment they can at my house?!

I got over yesterday, I am the neighborhood mom and my house is open to these kids.

She came to me upset because she was going to get in trouble. She wasn't dripping just her shorts and the bottom half of her shirt were wet, she kept trying to dry off with a towel. I let it go until it was time for them to leave. This little child was afraid to go home because she would get in trouble. I told her and her brother to just tell their mom what happened. They didn't think that was a good idea, I asked what would happen. Well he said that she could get a whooping, I said I was sorry and that I don't believe in spanking.

The fear in these kids is real, it's not the first time I've seen it. We talk sometimes, they ask me questions and I answer the best I can. I really have to watch what I say because they are living in this situation. I pray that an opportunity would arise where I would have the right words at the right time to say something.

It happens all the time in many homes, kids are afraid of getting in trouble.

I told Cassie after they left that she never has to be afraid to tell me something, she knows that but I needed to say it again.