I don't get it

How much is environment and how much is genetics and personality?

My kids are living in a completely different environment with completely different parenting yet... They are little versions of us, aren't they? They can tend to emulate the not so wonderful traits.

I'm not just talking behaviour even though Jared displays a ton of hostile, explosive, mean outburts even though we do not treat him like that.

He just had an episode, I usually try to buffer things but I was in the tub when this one happened. I hate it when it escalates and it could have been avoided had I been there. I keep seeing him improve then backslide. Lately it has been really rough with him. I remain calm and I talk to him even though he is yelling, it's not easy for sure. If I treated him the way he treats us it would be called abusive. He processes everything differently, he always has. I have learned so much about parenting from this child's perspective, I'm not perfect but I have really come a long way. It's hard because when he acts out it disrupts the household and I feel responsible and I try to fix it but in reality I can't control it. I can just be here and help him and buffer everyone else as much as possible.

Damnit maybe I'll just make them go to bed! HAHA! Kidding, I'm not one of those parents who thinks that kids are convenient little trophies that we put away whenever we want.

What about general feelings, physical and emotional. Cassie and Brenny continually exhibit symptoms of being my child. I mean the not sleeping, headaches, freaking out about just plain not feeling well.

My daughter is straight and hard headed and stubborn and sometimes mean, well... she is my kid. Don't forget control freak, you should see us try to shop or cook together, we are both trying to be in contriol, it's rather comical when I look at it for what it really is.

I am doing my best not to act like that but my point is it's in her blood. I have done so much to try and change myself but I realize now that I am ME and that is that. I'll say things to Jay like why does she have to take that tone and sound so mean? He told me she comes by it naturally... YIKES!

Even though I think I am being nice apparently I don't have the nice tone, LOL!

I am not some meanie, really I'm just Me, take it or leave it I guess I don't really care.

Now I wonder where she gets that from?