Logic vs. Emotion

One of the hardest parts of parenting for me is dealing with my kids emotions. I am a logical person, when something happens I offer solutions, I try to problem solve or sometimes I just plain think that they are really being overly dramatic about something so simple. I realize that kids feel differently, they process information differently, they are emotional about things that I think aren't worth being emotional over.

Cassie is my only girl, she is full of emotions, I have struggled with relating to her and being what she needs since she was born, actually Jason is much better with Cass than I am. Brenny is very emotional and he gets upset and flips out and I just don't get it. Real example, tonight he was upset because Kieran said he would help him do something on Runescape and when he called for his help he was sleeping. I told Brenny that it was 2:00 am and he fell asleep and that he can help you tomorrow. NO that isn't possible! He cried and jumped up and down in the chair and banged on the desk. I realize that it was important for him but I don't understand how he doesn't get it that it's late and his brother went to bed.
Things like that happen often and I just explain the facts and expect him to move on, but it isn't that easy for him.

Kieran being 12 and all is experiencing some hormonal fluctuations :)

Jared is so intense all the time that I spend most of my time helping him to understand and handle everything that happens.

Sometimes I feel like I'm not helping my other kids with their situations because I have so much invested in Jared.

I truly struggle in this area, sometimes I wonder if we are all born with feelings and emotions and that we get shaped by our environment. We could just be born logical too, I'm not saying there is one without the other, I do feel, I do experience emotions but I am truly a logical thinker and emotions aren't always first on my plate.

As a child and teen I literally shut my emotions off so that I wouldn't get hurt anymore. Sometimes I wonder if I can get that back, I do feel, it usually erupts out of sheer frustration or to a point where I just break down and lose it though. I mean there must be a healthy way to deal with emotions, feelings and frustrations in a logical way, right??? LOL!

I'm me and my kids are who they are, we are all different, I love them so much and I just want to be the mom they need me to be.

I realized tonight after my bath that maybe Brenny just needed a hug. This touchy feely stuff is hard for me but I know that sometimes Cassie just wants a hug and validation.
I'm working on it...

Is Unschooling right for you?

Unschooling is not for everyone, although I believe that anyone can unschool. We must deschool ourselves, free up our thoughts, let go of all of the ingrained nonsense, and get out of mainstream thinking. You have to be willing to give up all of those schooly ideas...the scopes, the tests, the "this child should know _____at this age", the grading, the ranking, the forced schoolwork at the table.

Research, read about natural learning and not forced schooling, ask questions, find others who are living it. Give yourself time to properly detox from the system. While you are doing this don't impose it on your kids. Let them learn in the way God designed them. Keep your hang ups to yourself.

The basic philosophy is that people (children) are born with an innate desire to learn. Learning is as natural as breathing. Forced, bribed, coerced, compulsary schooling strips that desire away piece by piece. Then learning becomes a chore. It happens by being told what to do and what to think and how to do it. The real chore to be abhorred is schooling, not learning, because school has nothing to do with real, true, natural, life long learning.

While it is possible to unschool academically, I think you are missing the whole big picture. Many people out there unschool but control everything else in their child's life. I believe that electronics and tv and sleep and eating and helping around the house are all part of living together as a family. We are all individuals that contribute to the family dynamics.

I believe that to fully unschool with all the benefits, we parent differently. How can you say that your child will read when he is ready but that they don't know when they are tired? How can you make up arbitrary rules for all to blindly follow?

Many people are hung up on video games but there is a lot to be learned by playing games. I have never limited use. I will tell you that our systems go weeks at a time without being turned on. They know it's there and that they can play whenever they want.

If you aren't willing to truly examine all of those beliefs and practices that you upheld for so long and truly make a paradigm shift, then no...unschooling isn't for you.

It is a wonderful lifestyle to live and learn and observe and be and
do and create and laugh and love without the confines of school or a
closed mind.

Free your mind-UN SCHOOL!

Partners

Daddy's little helper. After they were done Jared said *Dad, we're partners, right? Partners that fix cars*

Daddy said *Yes we are.*

What makes dogs go crazy at night?

A possum up in the tree or opossum depending on how you say it. Of course we had fun watching her, Jason took several pics only a few turned out decent. We googled possum and found out lots of interesting facts and myths. One neat website we found is The 'Possum Pages
As we were watching her I noticed something moving in her belly, she had a pouch full of babies. You can see the lumps in her underside. Possums are not rodents, they are marsupials and also known as the north American kangaroo because they carry their babies in their pouch.

One of the nice things about unschooling is these moments of how learning actually finds us. If we didn't have dogs we would have never known that this creature was passing by our house. Everyone stopped what they were doing to check it out then we spent time online looking it up and learning all sorts of neat things.

What artist should paint you?

>

Who Should Paint You: Andy Warhol

You've got an interested edge that would be reflected in any portrait You don't need any fancy paint techniques to stand out from the crowd!

What Artist Should Paint Your Portrait?

Cassie's hair

Before...

After...

This is the worst her hair has gotten. We had some times before where it got really tangled and then we would work it out but she finally got to where she wanted it brushed. She took care of her hair, she brushed it every day without me saying anything, it was important to her, she was intrinsically motivated.

She wants her hair long but she hasn't been brushing it. This latest one is the worst ever, she wanted help, she knew it was time to deal with it.

So talk about an all nighter, it took 3 movies, homemade cookies and popcorn, lots of conditioner and breaks. Most of all a very patient daddy, I started to brush it, I was as gentle as I could be. Let's face it, this is gonna hurt no matter what. We did our best to not pull it, she had so many knots, Jason had to cut some out.

She is so happy that her hair is soft and flowing beautifully again. I just braided it so it doesn't get tangled over night. She wants to keep it brushed.

Strawberry blonde

I'm still waiting for Tina to tell me why she thought I was a blonde...

This is me at age 17 and 3, my hair turned brown when I was 6, it lightened up as a teen because of all that sunbathing. I don't fry my skin anymore

Replying to blog comments

I have seen other people reply to questions or comments on their blog. At first it seemed kind of odd but then I realized that sometimes people ask a question and it makes sense to answer.

I appreciate those who stop by here and read and take time to leave a comment. So I did respond to 2 recent questions by Julie and Jenny and I will try to reply to others as they come.

Sometimes it seems left open ended when you ask me a question and I don't answer.

So I'll try to respond as needed.

Thanks for stopping by.

Thoughts from the dizzy blonde

Well I'm not blonde now am I Tina? LOL! But I used to be I'll get a picture of me blonde soon.

Dh and I joke about blondes and dizzy and stuff all the time so since I have an inner ear/sinus thing going on I am really dizzy even if I'm a brunette.

I am better than yesterday, my gosh, I was taking a shower and shaving my legs and then I instantly was weak in the arms and legs and I sat down. I started crying, Cassie came in and I was sitting there with soap in my hair and one shaved leg... It was not cool, talk about freakin out, I was shaking so bad...

I have been having dizziness on and off and an ear twinge on and off but I guess it got worse. I am prone to this but it has been awhile, maybe since last winter.

Today I was taking my Xlear nasal spray that dh drove to get after work last night. It is not convenient to buy non medicated treatments, the health food stores are nowhere near us, he didn't get home until almost 7 pm, he is such a good guy :)

I'm off my rocker, today I needed to lay down, pure exhaustion, this is not me, so I know I have a virus. The neighbor kids came over as soon as they got off the bus and guess what their mom is sick, oh joy I don't feel good and I get 6 loud kids instead of 4. Something ain't right here!

I was not myself I told the kids I didn't feel well, my head hurts and I need to lay down...
They were just being loud and goofing and I had to tell them to go outside. I had a little talk about respect with them today.
I realize that there is a huge sense of freedom at my house but you need to respect me :)

I just took a hot bath and had so many thoughts but something about them going down the drain really stinks. I put the hot washcloth on my face and had some wine and just tried to relax.

I also will use my eye pillow when I go to bed, I got it from my friend Penny, I keep it in the freezer.

Here's hoping and praying I'll be better tomorrow!

The Bitter Homeschooler's Wish List

The Bitter Homeschooler's Wish List

From Secular Homeschooling Magazine, Issue #1

1 Please stop asking us if it's legal. If it is — and it is — it's insulting to imply that we're criminals. And if we were criminals, would we admit it?

2 Learn what the words "socialize" and "socialization" mean, and use the one you really mean instead of mixing them up the way you do now. Socializing means hanging out with other people for fun. Socialization means having acquired the skills necessary to do so successfully and pleasantly. If you're talking to me and my kids, that means that we do in fact go outside now and then to visit the other human beings on the planet, and you can safely assume that we've got a decent grasp of both concepts.

3 Quit interrupting my kid at her dance lesson, scout meeting, choir practice, baseball game, art class, field trip, park day, music class, 4H club, or soccer lesson to ask her if as a homeschooler she ever gets to socialize.

4 Don't assume that every homeschooler you meet is homeschooling for the same reasons and in the same way as that one homeschooler you know.

5 If that homeschooler you know is actually someone you saw on TV, either on the news or on a "reality" show, the above goes double.

6 Please stop telling us horror stories about the homeschoolers you know, know of, or think you might know who ruined their lives by homeschooling. You're probably the same little bluebird of happiness whose hobby is running up to pregnant women and inducing premature labor by telling them every ghastly birth story you've ever heard. We all hate you, so please go away.

7 We don't look horrified and start quizzing your kids when we hear they're in public school. Please stop drilling our children like potential oil fields to see if we're doing what you consider an adequate job of homeschooling.

8 Stop assuming all homeschoolers are religious.

9 Stop assuming that if we're religious, we must be homeschooling for religious reasons.

10 We didn't go through all the reading, learning, thinking, weighing of options, experimenting, and worrying that goes into homeschooling just to annoy you. Really. This was a deeply personal decision, tailored to the specifics of our family. Stop taking the bare fact of our being homeschoolers as either an affront or a judgment about your own educational decisions.

11 Please stop questioning my competency and demanding to see my credentials. I didn't have to complete a course in catering to successfully cook dinner for my family; I don't need a degree in teaching to educate my children. If spending at least twelve years in the kind of chew-it-up-and-spit-it-out educational facility we call public school left me with so little information in my memory banks that I can't teach the basics of an elementary education to my nearest and dearest, maybe there's a reason I'm so reluctant to send my child to school.

12 If my kid's only six and you ask me with a straight face how I can possibly teach him what he'd learn in school, please understand that you're calling me an idiot. Don't act shocked if I decide to respond in kind.

13 Stop assuming that because the word "home" is right there in "homeschool," we never leave the house. We're the ones who go to the amusement parks, museums, and zoos in the middle of the week and in the off-season and laugh at you because you have to go on weekends and holidays when it's crowded and icky.

14 Stop assuming that because the word "school" is right there in homeschool, we must sit around at a desk for six or eight hours every day, just like your kid does. Even if we're into the "school" side of education — and many of us prefer a more organic approach — we can burn through a lot of material a lot more efficiently, because we don't have to gear our lessons to the lowest common denominator.

15 Stop asking, "But what about the Prom?" Even if the idea that my kid might not be able to indulge in a night of over-hyped, over-priced revelry was enough to break my heart, plenty of kids who do go to school don't get to go to the Prom. For all you know, I'm one of them. I might still be bitter about it. So go be shallow somewhere else.

16 Don't ask my kid if she wouldn't rather go to school unless you don't mind if I ask your kid if he wouldn't rather stay home and get some sleep now and then.

17 Stop saying, "Oh, I could never homeschool!" Even if you think it's some kind of compliment, it sounds more like you're horrified. One of these days, I won't bother disagreeing with you any more.

18 If you can remember anything from chemistry or calculus class, you're allowed to ask how we'll teach these subjects to our kids. If you can't, thank you for the reassurance that we couldn't possibly do a worse job than your teachers did, and might even do a better one.

19 Stop asking about how hard it must be to be my child's teacher as well as her parent. I don't see much difference between bossing my kid around academically and bossing him around the way I do about everything else.

20 Stop saying that my kid is shy, outgoing, aggressive, anxious, quiet, boisterous, argumentative, pouty, fidgety, chatty, whiny, or loud because he's homeschooled. It's not fair that all the kids who go to school can be as annoying as they want to without being branded as representative of anything but childhood.

21 Quit assuming that my kid must be some kind of prodigy because she's homeschooled.

22 Quit assuming that I must be some kind of prodigy because I homeschool my kids.

23 Quit assuming that I must be some kind of saint because I homeschool my kids.

24 Stop talking about all the great childhood memories my kids won't get because they don't go to school, unless you want me to start asking about all the not-so-great childhood memories you have because you went to school.

25 Here's a thought: If you can't say something nice about homeschooling, shut up!

This has been posted on several groups so I thought I would put it here for reference.

In a house...

Where activity is happening at all hours of the day and well into the night, it is finally quiet.
Shhh, don't tell anyone :)

My friend came over today with her 3 boys and she goes, did the intensity just increase as we walked in? I'm like yeah, just a little, they are happy to see each other, it's almost always loud in here so I'm used to it.

It wasn't just my 4, I had 2 neighbor kids here also.. Their parents are having scheduling issues and I told them that I would rather the kids (8 & 5)come here then be home alone. Heck they are here anyway so I pretty much have 6 kids here most days so add 3 more, hey I'm good. Sometimes the kid across the street is here too, he is just a visitor every other week(divorced parents) so he comes over when he is with his dad.

This is the go to place on the street, I like it that way. I want to know what my kids are doing and they like to be here so in that process we will have other kids here too.

Anyway I started to talk about how busy my house is with just my own 4 kids, it's a constant hubbub of talking, playing, watching, doing, creating, cooking, cleaning, eating, washing, drying...

Tonight Jared and Cassie spent 1 1/2 hours in the tub, they were playing and having a blast and flooding the place.

The imagination that abounds here is so awesome to watch, I always thought I didn't have any imagination, I'm such a realist, but I try, oh I try. The questions that are asked really stretch my mind and make me realize that some things are just meant to be made up and fun.

Tonight Jared and I went grocery shopping around 10:30, I like having Kroger to myself :)

Everything is a game to him, he has to place the food in the cart to make a race car, or space ship or something, you know with tail pipes and stuff. I have to wait for him to set it up, he is always acting things out and living in his imagination. I'm just grasping it, it's important to him :)

Left to their own devices

I see this phrase a lot on unschooling lists, usually it is by new unschoolers who don't really get it. They say *if I leave my child to their own devices* then ____ might happen, or how will they ever learn ____. On occasion I'll see someone use that phrase when relating to someone as in *when I left them to their own devices* _____ happened.

I don't really know where this came from in regards to unschooling. In my mind leaving a child to their own devices sounds neglectful. I don't even know people's motivation for saying it.

I'm thinking that you the parent locks herself in her room with head phones on all day and leave your kids to fend for themselves? How does a parent leave a child to their own devices and still be there? I have no idea, I am with my kids all day, every day, sure we all do our own thing and we all do things together. Nobody is left alone to fend for themselves.

My kids *choose* what they do each day, they are free to do what they want as long as it doesn't involve hurting themself or someone else. I am here, I am available, I answer questions, I watch, I help, I listen, so I am baffled as to how you leave a child to their own devices.

That sounds like pure neglect and it isn't unschooling.

My little boy

Isn't so little anymore. I'm just realizing how time flies and how fast our babies grow up. Kieran is 12 and he is becoming a young man, he isn't a little kid anymore. He loves fishing, he and Jason get up early and go alone while everyone else is still sleeping.

Smashing Pumpkins

Isn't it fun to be a kid :)

A bit about college

Since I was talking about some of my thoughts on high school I figured I'd move on to college.

I went to a community college in CA after graduating high school in NY. Now I always had goals for college I knew I wanted to manage and eventually own a Hotel.

It wasn't as easy as HS, I actually had to put forth some effort in some classes. I took as many business classes as I could, HS economics and college economics were two different things. My professor was a dull monotone guy and I really needed some help. I remember studying harder than I ever did in my life for a test and I got a D. That was a hard earned D, it wasn't that I didn't know the material, it was that I didn't relate with the teaching style, or lack there of...

I had some great classes too, it was an interesting time in my life.

I really wanted to take a year off after HS, I was schooled out :) But I had to go in order to keep my health insurance, so... I could go off on that tangent but I won't right now...

I worked full time the 3-11pm shift and I had an 8am class, oh yeah you get the picture. I also had a night class once a week, so I literally had one day off a week with no work or school. Man talk about stressful... I actually only went 3 semesters, they changed my hospitality management program and God changed my heart.

I got to where all I wanted to do was be a mom, and it's funny because all I wanted was the career, I was so gung ho on the CAREER! Don't underestimate the power of God.

Becoming a mom was no easy task but that's another post.

I don't have too many issues with college, it's NOT compulsary so it's got that going for it, it's not free either, but then either is PS we all pay taxes.

It's also not necessary for most people, we can learn by so many avenues and college is only one and is only needed for a handful of jobs. I think it's overrated and pushed to many teens when they really don't know what they want or aren't able to appreciate it. My sister went to an expensive University and she partied hard, joined a sorority and well partied :)
Lots of kids do that!

Even though it's not mandatory it IS an institution that runs on grades, tests, socio economic class and politics to name a few.

So unless you really have a career goal that needs a college degree I would think long and hard before wasting precious time and money on an instution.

Do I regret going? Nope I don't. Do I regret not getting my degree? Nope I don't.

Like I said I had some good experiences and I especially had one professor who was so awesome, I would say he held the unschooling philosophy. I loved his classes and I actually learned a lot. What was different? He pointed out from day one that he was the *facilitator* he put us in groups and we taught each other, gee that's an interesting concept, this was 1990-1991 BTW. He also did not grade us you either did the work and got an A or you got an incomplete, this was awesome.

I took his classes each semester, but one time I could not work with the group I was assigned, we had way too many differences of opinion. I went to my professor, a little scared but knowing what I could and couldn't do. So he gave me a separate assignment to complete so that I could get my A and pass the class. I will never forget many of the things I learned at that time.

So I hope I'm not boring anyone :)

Badges - NaBloPoMo

Badges - NaBloPoMo

The idea is to post everyday in the month of November.

Deep thoughts by Jack Handy

Or maybe by Stephanie, LOL!

I have so much going on in my head I don't know what to sort out and actually put down in writing. I have always said I'm not a writer but some people have said, sure you are, so what's my problem. I have these stigmas that still creep up I guess, from school, teachers, people, you are this, you can't do that, blah blah blah.

Yesterday I was telling some friends about how I had to go to school but I did it my way. I refused to do some assignments, I took F's and incompletes, I told teachers that they were insulting my intelligence. I'm not running a mile to mess up my hair and sweat off my make up, sheesh.

I had to be there because being a dropout was only for teenage pregnancy or losers, or druggies or whatever but it wasn't for *me*. HA! I Lived with 2 public school teachers in my 10-12th grade years. I really didn't care about school or grades and I hated how they *made* me take subjects that had nothing to do with my major. I went round and round with my *guidance counselor* on many occasions, she actually knew my dad so that was always fun :)

One thing about my dad, he tried not to set guidelines on grades but one semester my junior year he said well why don't you get all A's??? I'll give you $50 if you can do it. Well gee dad sure I'll take you up on that. So I got all A's and I got $50, dad is like see I knew you could do it, why don't you always do it. I said I don't feel like it, I'll go back to my B's now :) Getting straight A's took a bit of time, but getting B's I could do in my sleep, piece of cake. I know it wasn't like that for everyone, I saw people struggle, my dh didn't have it that easy, many friends didn't either. So I don't take it lightly but for me if I actually paid attention in class I got A's. Who cares!!! Grades are for meat and eggs not children (Kelly Lovejoy) I love that phrase!

I always spoke up and let my thoughts be known, I'll tell you what they weren't popular, I would not conform, after 12 years of *so called conditioning* they did NOT win over my mind or my spirit. They pissed me off and kept me fuming but they did not take away the spirit of *me* I was a leader, other classmates looked up to me and asked me for help, teachers asked me to help because * I got* the material, duh, like it's complicated or something...

I really didn't mean to go on about high school but I have been thinking about this so called state of *adolescence* I mean some 16,17,18 yr old grown men and women are stuck in high school sitting behind a desk being subject to some guy who gets his rocks off on being the *authority* and it makes me sick. School is no place for children and it's even worse for teenagers. They should be out doing real life tasks and projects and working with mentors in the field they are interested in and/or figuring out what they want to do and be, not stuck behind a desk listening to some garbage.

Ok I'm tired and I didn't even get to the really good stuff...
My point is and will always be Stay Out Of School, it does the Mind a Terrible Thing!

Birthday Girl

Cassie is 8, today we celebrated with our dear friends and good food and fun.

Blowing out the #8.

Playing with new squishy play doh.

Cassie and daddy having fun with play doh.

Wow 3 kids have hit the 8 year mark, 8 year old girls are definitely different than 8 year old boys :)

We all had a great day together.

Halloween

Jared didn't want to kill his pumpkin so he painted it.

Ahh, pumpkin guts.

The 3 jacks.

All 6 of my kids ready to trick or treat.

Afterwards, checking out the candy.

And eating it... They ate it all night long...

Here's a little tidbit, this is the first time my kids have trick or treated, yes Kieran is 12. How does this happen you ask???

Well actually it's all my fault:) Halloween does nothing for me and I never made a big deal out of it. When we lived in the country nobody was around so it made it pretty easy to ignore. Last year we went to the harvest carnival and they had a great time but we didn't trick or treat or hand out candy, we just left the house for awhile.

This year they asked to go and at first I told them I didn't want to but Jason set me straight... it's not about me, no really, LOL!

So we just went down our road and up another and came back, they got a bunch of candy and had fun. We then came home and handed out the candy I bought until it was gone. So it looks like we will be doing Halloween from now on :)

Harvest Carnival

Little Obi Wan and his ghost.

I know this is blurry.

This one is bright.

This one is pretty good.

My little munchkins.

Here are a few pictures from the party, the kids had fun playing games and jumping and sliding in those big astro jump things. They dressed up and got candy from playing games, we also went on a little hay ride.

I froze my ass off, I carried everyones stuff and my feet were numb, but hey the kids had fun :)

Finding the time

I know we are all busy living and learning, I'm finding it hard to get my reading done for my class.

I have started my 2nd homeopathy course and I am a week behind... Every time I sit down to read someone needs something. Jason reminds me that I did it before and kept up with the lessons, I just don't seem to have a grip on it yet. You wonder why I'm blogging, I just typed up a lesson and sent it in so that is why I'm here now :)

I really want to learn how to treat my family and friends and it is a lot of information to absorb.
If I decide to pursue homeopathy further it would take years of studying before I could treat others, kind of like med school but with real healing :)

Right now I just want to be a home practitioner with the basic knowledge of first aid and acute illness. Even to do that you need to study the history and philosophy of homeopathy and grasp it at it's core.

So I am just having a hard time fitting it in to my life at this moment. I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed lately... My kids need so much of my time and the house is... well... a mess in my opinion but nobody else seems to think so.

Today Kieran and I argued briefly over who would vacuum, he won, LOL! I actually took a picture but I'm not near the camera at this moment.
I needed the attachments to do the wood flooring and we found 2 but I need all 3 so I don't have to bend over. He said he can do it on 2 and didn't want to search for it in Cassie's room. Her room looks like an explosion so Jason said he didn't blame him, LOL! So instead of looking for the part he just vacummed himself :)

Yep we are nuts around here :)

He also helped to clean up the toys in the front yard so I gave him a few bucks.
We don't have chores or anything tied to money but I'll pay the kids if they help out extra, Kieran felt upset because Brennan didn't help, so I paid him and he was fine.

Brownies

Cassie has been in Brownies for the first time this year. Last night they had their first slumber party. I did not attend because... well... Jared has attachment issues and I really don't like that kind of thing :)

My dear friend R was such a trooper and she took the girls, although she said to remind her not to do it next time, LOL!

Cassie and her daughter K have become such good little buddies :)

Cassie has never slept away from home so this was a big deal. Of course she didn't really sleep much and she came home and slept all day.

While R was with the girls I had the boys, my 3 and her son.

The guys had a great time and were pretty easy, I fed them pizza, soda, ice cream and cookies and they played on the computers and danced around to their music and wrestled and ran around outside at 11pm. I was glad it was a weekend can you imagine the horror of kids out on a school night??? LOL! What the hell is a school night anyway? Ok I promise I won't get started, really, I won't just thinking the thoughts, they are passing... slowly...

Ok... So they guys got along great and had a good time I think they conked out about 4:15am, I tried to pawn Jared off on them at 4:00 because he was doing his 20 questions to fall asleep thing.

I've been tagged

My first MEME and it's a tough one, LOL! You are supposed to come up with 10 things about you that are weird. I've been racking my brain and all I get from dh and ds are oh that's easy, no input, they don't want to mess with me :)

This came from my new blogger buddy Evie


1. I love 80's hair bands.



2. I only really need 5 things that I could live on, coffee, dark chocolate, wine, pizza, cheese.



3. My idea of camping involves room service.



4. Brennan told me that I always want to clean, but then Kieran said *not so much anymore* LOL! My house looks lived in now but not too long ago you wouldn't know that there were 6 people and 3 dogs here. So I was a compulsive clean freak, really I was...



5. I stay up late and sleep late depending on your perception of time.



6. Don't get me started on school, my kids roll their eyes when I get going on compulsary schooling.



7. I am not a touchy feely emotional female, I do not wear my emotions on my sleeve and I'm really not compassionate. I can/do empathize, I really do care :) If/when I do break down and cry it's after a long period of hard times. It happens, I am human :) This is actually a difficult thing for me because Cassie is full of emotions and feelings and I have a hard time relating with her sometimes, but I'm trying.



8. I have clausterphobic feet. I hate to be confined, I wear sandals when it's warm and clogs when it is cold. I breathe through my feet.

9. I was born a rebellious spirit, don't tell me no, because I'll do it anyway, don't hold me back I need to be free.

10. I hate the sight blood, mine or anyone else's it makes me weak in the legs, but I love CSI and have no problem with the fake stuff.

You have no idea how hard this was, I'm not weird, I'm just me, I'm definitely different because of my views on things but I don't think that is really weird.

So then I tag 10 more unsuspecting blogger buds...

Julie
Tina
Penny
Jenny
Erica
Lesa
Laura
Laura
Deanne
Sheryl

10-20-30

Got this from www.jewlsntexas.blogspot.com/2007/10/10-20-30.html

Where were you 10, 20 and 30 years ago?

10 years ago we lived in Sacramento, CA and Kieran was 2 and I was just pregnant with Brenny. We were planning our move across country to PA in 1998.

20 years ago I was a junior in high school in Lockport, NY, playing the game so I could live my life :) I knew Jason but we didn't start dating until the following year.

30 years ago I was 6 years old, in 1st grade starting the *suck the love of learning out of me journey* lol!!! We lived in Sanborn, NY and my parents were still married.

YouTube - The "F" Word - (contains adult themes and humour)

I think this is hilarious, if you are offended by the word do NOT click the link. It seems familiar, I think maybe George Carlin did it in one of his skits.

Bumper Sticker

Jason saw a bumper sticker yesterday that is definitely worth sharing.

Don't believe everything you think

Rules...

Rules are made to be broken.

I know that our society has to have laws or else there would be chaos because parents haven't done their job on modeling respect and responsibility, but the schools have done their job in creating people who need to be told what to do and how to think.

Household rules are set for the convenience of the parent, so they don't have to get involved with their child. They just make up rules and punishments and dole it out as needed. While this is the easy way out, it isn't the best way or the most productive. Well it depends what you want, if your goal is obedience and no involvement then by all means make up stupid rules.

Your rules don't count at my house so check them at the door. Do not come to my house and impose your rules on your children and expect me to enforce them.

If I come to your house I will respect your rules but if the are totally asanine and infringe on me and my kids then I guess we won't be coming back very often, if at all.

In my house we foster respect and safety, not rules, punishments and rewards. I see too many kids afraid to be kids, who don't want to go home, home isn't fun. I know that kids act different in my house, they are relaxed and free. I lived the life of the kid who didn't want to be home I don't ever want my kids to be like that.

I really believe that being the authoritarian, do as I say or get punished kind of parent is not right, it's just plain wrong, in my opinion.
We need to talk about things and work them out, making blanket rules for all to follow is ridiculous.

I also believe that making laws because a few people are screw ups is ridiculous too, it's only the honest law abiding people who suffer. I won't go into my thoughts on speed limits, drinking ages, health care, welfare, or big brother telling me how to educate my kids... Well I might I can't promise anything :)

I see many posts on lists where parents want to unschool but really haven't deschooled. They want to give their kids freedom but control them with limits. Make up your mind, unschooling is freeing your mind from the BS you have been fed, it takes time to get over the BS and move on. Don't lay the same line of crap on your kids, give them something better, give them freedom to learn in their way and in their time.

Some people think they can *unschool* but then control everything else like video games and sleeping habits and tv and when to do what. I think you are really holding back and limiting your child's potential to learn from any and every source by putting restrictions on them. I am talking about artificial ones, not ones bound by the realities of each family unit.

I'll probably never be done with this subject but I'm done for now...

Neverending questions?

Jared is constantly asking me questions, I mean almost non stop.

All sorts of questions...
How do you spell ____?
What is 100 +10?
What does grounded mean? (he heard it on The Incredibles)
How many zeros in a trillion?
Is kazillion a real word?
How long does it take to build a road?
How many days until I'm 100 years old?
What does ground mean?
What does _____mean? He has been asking what everyday words mean, those are hard to answer.
He just asked me what 3+3+3+3 is, is that 12? He answered his own question.
He just wrote 1,ooo,ooo on his doodle board, with commas, now he is making a trillion.
He drew a map of our road too.
Thank God for doodle boards, he uses his constantly
He asks some really thought provoking questions too, like when are Grandma Lynn (my mom) and Grandpa Hank (new stepdad) going to have kids, LOL!
How come ghosts are white?

I wish I could remember all of his questions, they are so constant. He has a unique perspective just like all kids do.

Children living in fear

Tonight was another example of how different we parent than others.

The kids were here and they were playing outside in the mud and having fun. They needed to wash off and so they hosed off their feet but little J got her clothes wet.

It's bad enough that they *aren't allowed* to do anything fun, why do you think they spend every moment they can at my house?!

I got over yesterday, I am the neighborhood mom and my house is open to these kids.

She came to me upset because she was going to get in trouble. She wasn't dripping just her shorts and the bottom half of her shirt were wet, she kept trying to dry off with a towel. I let it go until it was time for them to leave. This little child was afraid to go home because she would get in trouble. I told her and her brother to just tell their mom what happened. They didn't think that was a good idea, I asked what would happen. Well he said that she could get a whooping, I said I was sorry and that I don't believe in spanking.

The fear in these kids is real, it's not the first time I've seen it. We talk sometimes, they ask me questions and I answer the best I can. I really have to watch what I say because they are living in this situation. I pray that an opportunity would arise where I would have the right words at the right time to say something.

It happens all the time in many homes, kids are afraid of getting in trouble.

I told Cassie after they left that she never has to be afraid to tell me something, she knows that but I needed to say it again.

Neighborhood mom

So today I didn't feel like being neighborhood mom I just wanted to clean my house.

I made so many attempts at vacuuming I lost count before I finally got it done.

The neighbor girl kept asking me to do this, get this...

I asked all of the kids to play outside, the weather was beautiful, I just wanted to do some cleaning :)

Then they went out and rode bikes through the mud puddles, then they wanted towels...
I told them to hose off because they were covered in mud, good thing it was warm :)

Well my washer has been slightly broken for a few months, well it washes but doesn't spin... I'll have you know that my biceps are shaping nicely, don't mess with the woman who has to wring out her laundry...

So then they want me to be the usual nice person who lets them be kids and paint and play and create and eat in her house...

Actually they did draw with markers and play and eat, we got pizza and they ate over. It was just a really stupid, hurried day. We had a birthday thing to go to in the evening and still hadn't been shopping until 6:oopm and Jared had several outbursts and the boys bickered about the computer and Cassie had too much artificial dye...

All I wanted to do was clean my house...

Little funny here... Brenny came in and asked me why I was cleaning, he asked me if I needed something to do. LOL! Like I don't have anything to do. I said because the house is a mess, I have really let go of my *standards* my house is lived in and I do have extra kids here daily. But I still *need* to clean once in awhile, right!?

So here it is 3:00am and Jared is asleep, woohoo, but Cassie is awake. I just need a little quiet before I go to bed.

So one of those days where I was hurried and stressed, not good, not fun, let it go woman, move on, tomorrow is another day. No rushing, I hate schedules and time constraints and it's much better on days that flow naturally. Let go, breathe in breathe out, have a drink :)

YouTube - You Gotta Go To School

YouTube - You Gotta Go To School

Easily offended?

Well you wouldn't be reading here if you were!

So many times online we see people get offended even if comments weren't directed to them. People will shun off whole groups because of one person. People will either make a big stink or leave without saying a word.

In our day to day life people are offended at church, the store, the park, the post office, in traffic, on and on and on. Why do some people take offense so readily? Why do some people think the slightest comment to be offensive? Why do some people take offense when no offense was intended? WHY???

Well being a straight forward to the point kind of girl I am... I have offended people in my life. Why? Because I tell it like it is, I call it like I see it, I'm honest, I speak my mind.

Anyone who really knows me doesn't take offense to anything I say. I'm really easy to get along with, I'm pretty nice and will do anything for a friend or a child.

I have tried so hard over the years to curb myself, I think so many things that I never actually say. When it comes to unschooling, kids, public school, school at home, stupid parenting, ignorance or any number of things that I feel passionate about, I'm going to speak up. So many of us are just being ourselves we don't mean any harm, we do not intend to offend.

Offense is in the eye of the offendee, LOL! I mean some people just wear it all on their sleeve and get offended by the wind blowing. Some people may be going through something that we don't know about and take offense to something we say in passing or joking. We really can't know what one is thinking or feeling without them telling us.

So I say buck up and move on life is too short to stew about something someone said when they didn't even know you were offended by it.

Little Blessings

The past 2 days Kieran has loaded and unloaded the dishwasher for me.

I never told him to do it :)

Just another example of kids helping out without being forced.

What is the meaning of life?

LOL! Beats me, let me in on it if you know!!
Ok so I haven't been online much lately, 2 computers 6 people, do the math!

I have tried to go to bed early well for 2 days anyway. One night by 1:45am still awake until 4:00, the next night by 12:30 awake until 2:30am. So my theory remains the same, going to bed earlier does not insure more sleep or even rest for that matter.

My kids also went to bed earlier but Cassie came in at least 3 times to tell me she couldn't sleep. Jared who sleeps in our bed did not want to stay up without me so he came to bed and babbled for like an hour. He asked me all sorts of questions and I told him that I was really tired and couldn't talk, LOL! So he finally falls asleep and there I am still awake, sheesh.
Everytime I try to go to bed earlier it backfires, but I figure I'll give it a shot :)

The truth is we were more tired and definitely had some cranky issues. So I say go to bed when you want and wake up when you want! I have always said that but sometimes I do these little experiments to keep me on my toes.

So much to say where to begin? Well you all know that we love unschooling, we love the freedoms we have. Case in point, our new friends who are unschoolers and free in other areas also... Our kids will talk on the phone while playing computer games until well into the night. Usually our phone battery dies then they have to say good-bye. The freedom to do that is really wonderful.

Last weekend our neighbor's went out of town and the grandma stayed with the kids. The boy called up Brenny and they were playing Runescape and talking on the phone and he said his grandma didn't care if he was up and that he wanted to stay up all night. This is no big deal to Brennan who goes to bed when he wants but it was huge to W, he told Brenny that it was *my day* so funny he is 8 years old and partying while mom and dad are away... They stayed up until 6:30am.

Such a small thing to us but a huge thing to him to stay up all night like it's something magical.
Actually Brennan just told me that W said that he is going to homeschool his kids that he doesn't ever want them to go to school, he is 8!!!

I know that we are having a profound affect on these kids lives and are showing them a glimpse of how things can be. They practically live here, just tonight another example of someone else's rules... They spent all day here from like 12:30 to 5:30, then they went somewhere and W came back around 6:30 and said that he could play in our yard, front or back but not in the house. Brennan told me he didn't feel like playing outside right now, of course I told him he didn't have to but he needs to tell W.

Shouldn't it be up to me whether or not they are in MY house??? Oh well so W went home, and tomorrow is back to school, they have had a 2 week break.

More and more my kids realize how different things can be from one house to the next, I always knew. The thing is if the opportunity doesn't present itself I really have no business saying anything. That is what is so hard even with our own friends we really have to be careful what we say but we can definitely be examples.

Learning is Living, Living is Learning

It is so apparant to me how natural learning happens everyday in many ways. I just watch my kids and see the growth, the connections, the imagination, the wonder, the questions, the answers. We were created to learn but so many are inhibited by the forced compulsary schooling whether at school or at home that they lose so much of that natural innate desire and ability.

I observe my children and others who I am around and I really do my best not to judge or compare. Some things are obvious and attributed to schooling or parenting and some things are subtle and definitely all things are individual to the child.

I see the learning and it is awesome. So many people just don't give unschooling a chance, a chance to really see it flourish. I read so many emails from so many different groups that it can become a blur. There have been recent posts about someone who wants to unschool but can't let go of the schoolish mindset and therefore has been wavering back and forth and the kids are confused to say the least. I wonder why this person wants to unschool so bad but hasn't yet deschooled. Why unschool? Well I have all the answers for that question but only you can answer it for yourself.

This lifestyle of learning is an awesome lifestyle. No inhibitions or forced learning, no scopes and sequences, no grades or grade levels, no tests, no teachers, no school. Just real life, real learning, real living, real people doing what they want and learning as they go.

"There is no difference between living and learning-it is impossible and harmful and misleading to think of them as being separate" ~John Holt

Being calm

Lately I have been doing pretty darn well when my kids are being intense.

Cassie is going through some stage right now and is yelling in that high pitched voice that hurts my ears... I want _____now!!!!! Doesn't matter what it is.

Tonight at the grocery store was more difficult than usual. Kroger has these little kid carts and Jared's latest thing is pushing one. Now he is using it like a scooter, running around the store with it up on the back wheels, trying to put a foot on it. Usually he just does it a few times and we move on, well not the case tonight...

I'm at the deli which took a long ass time. I had Kieran with me and he was trying to stay with Jared. After he ran laps in the store while pushing the cart he kept crashing into Kieran's cart. I asked him to slow down and to not crash. He was mad and pushing me away and yelling be quiet, I don't want to.

But then a not so nice older lady walked by the vicinity at the same time that he threw the cart towards Kieran but it kept going and almost hit the lady in the leg. We were running towards the cart trying to catch it and I apologized very kindly and all I got was a nasty scowl back at me. Yikes that reminds me of the last time I was at Kroger. I'll just tell ya cause I'm here :) Jared was riding in the cart but he was standing in it, we were stopped in an aisle and this old couple walked by (scowls on their faces) the man proceeded to tell me that I better make him sit down because he saw a girl fall out once and cut up her face. I smiled and said thank you and kept walking all the while absolutely no change in their facial expression or demeanor. I told Jason when I got home and he came up with some comebacks to use next time, LOL!

Back to tonight, I told Jared that he almost hit that lady and to please not throw the cart again. He pushed me away yelling something. I don't know what was up with him tonight because this was way more meanness than usual. I just wanted to hurry up and get out of there. After a few minutes he wanted to ride in the big cart.

I'm really trying not to react and get mad when the kids are acting out, it is hard because I'm a very reactionary person. I'm getting pretty good at it though.

Parenting 101

If you respect your children, they will be respectful.

If you trust your children, they will be trustworthy.

If you are generous with your children, they will be generous.

If you are patient with your children, they will be patient.

If you model curiosity to your children, they will be curious.

If you are kind and gentle with your children, they will be kind and
gentle.


We are easily conditioned.

But: If you are controlling of your children, they will rebel.

If you are disrespectful of your children, they will show no respect.

If you are distrusting of your children, they will lie and sneak.

If you are impatient with your children, they will dawdle.

If you force your children, they will resist.

If you are stingy with your children, they will steal.

This ain’t rocket science.

What kind of relationship are you looking for?

-Kelly Lovejoy

Fun in the living room

The Zoo

Bongo

Red Panda

My favorite is the elephants of course.

We had a good day, I have lots of pics so just picked a few to share.

It's still 90 in Nashville

Just a few pics from this week of sunbathing and water play.

Faith

Some of you who don't share my faith are probablythinking man she is talking about God a lot lately... and those of you who do share my faith are probably thinking it's about time she talked about God. LOL!

I believe that my faith and belief in God are a personal matter between him and me, I believed this for my whole childhood and then I was part of *the church* for 10 years and it wasn't the same. I left the church but I have come closer to God, some of you know what I mean, anyone here who is thinking these things can check out the Unschooling God Journey link on my page.
This post isn't about church I haven't really shared that journey yet.

This post is about faith and how strong mine is and how God has seen my family through some very tough times, especially the last few months. It is hard for a control freak like me to give things to God, I know that I really can't control much of anything and that is hard to swallow.
I need to know what will happen and when it will happen and how it will happen... of course I'm not privy to this information, who is?

A few of those who read this know that my husband was between jobs and that things were getting pretty tight. It went far beyond tight, it got to the point where I told my dh that we are literally at God's mercy and anyone who is willing to help us. Of course only a couple people actually knew what was really going on but that was enough, God knew, he provided even in our most desperate time.

My faith has gotten stronger, I kept as positive as I could, I believed that God would see us through and take care of us because he always did... But the day to day struggle was real, it was difficult, I did my best to stay positive and keep the faith alive. My kids only know a portion of the realities because some things were obvious but others we didn't want to worry them with.

We have lived without many things that we were used to having and living with things that were broken and we couldn't fix. None of those things really matter because we will get them back and we will fix what is broken. The most important thing to me is that my kids are healthy and taken care of. We have been very blessed, our kids are healthy and all the stuff in the world can't compare to that.

Out of the mouths of babes

Over the years all of my kids have said some awesome things and I wish I would have written them down.

Tonight on the way home from playing with our friends Jared asked me a question. I should preface by saying whenever I mention a time of day whether it be today, tonight, this morning, yesterday etc. it is my time reference of my actual day not what the calendar says. This was actually a bit after midnight but to me it's still tonight, Tuesday night even though it's technically Wednesday morning. Just for the heck of it if anyone needs to contact me don't call between 4am and noon unless it's really important :) You can feel free to call at any other time though, including 3 am, cause you know what I'm doing :)

Anyway Jared asked me if God knows everything, I said well I believe that he does. Then Jared says *Is there a guy named God* we all chuckled and I said well... God is actually a being, a spirit, not really a person that is a boy or girl. Then he said *so there is a guy named God*

We all lost it and thought it was cute, he is 5 for those who don't know.

Kids have such a unique perspective and we need to pay attention to how they see things and interpret them, whenever we reference God we say *he* so to Jared he is a guy named God.

Too cute :)

Choices, consequences, parenting, life

Obviously I don't know what to call this. I have had so many thoughts lately and I've taken some good pics of the kids, I just haven't got them here yet. We had a busier than usual weekend, we even went to the zoo. We love the zoo, I love the elephants of course, Jay got some good shots of them. They are so peaceful, I could just watch them all day. I love elephants, Cassie always asks me why, well they are highly intelligent, the mothers take care of their babies, they stick together, they feel, they don't forget. I want one, can you tell???

When you have many different talks with different people you gather all the info and process it in your brain, right??? I need someone who gets what I'm saying, I am so sick of guarding myself so I don't offend or overstep. I was talking with a very dear friend today and lately I've been realizing how far apart we really are. What binds our friendship? It is so much more that parenting or how we homeschool, at least I thought it was...

Those are very important to me, how we treat our children is so important.
We have neighbor kids that I feel like a surrogate mother to, more stuff today proves that these kids need me and my house, they need it!

Many times I question God on various issues but I always see the reason even if it is many years later.

I firmly believe in God, I have faith, I trust in him, I pray, I believe that he created us in his image with our own free will. Many do not believe in God and many do not believe in free will, I believe in both. Everything is a choice, from what you wear, to what you eat, to when you go to bed, to if/when you cook, clean, pay bills, get a job, help another, share, be kind, laugh, love whatever it is , it's a choice. You have the power in your own mind to decide what to do.

I was reading a thread at Unschooling Basics and a newbie is questioning about kids ruling and parents following. I suppose to someone new at parenting with mindfulness and respect would think that. If I don't *make* them do _____ they never will, or how will they learn to do ____ if I don't make them.
I know that is popular thinking but it is so flawed, unless you shift your thoughts and priorities and open your mind and really be what your kid needs none of this will make sense.

Unschooling is all about trust and respect not about control, nobody has the right to control another's thoughts and actions. I always tell my kids only YOU can control YOU, especially if they say *he made me do ____*