tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32534903.post4291850511873571111..comments2024-03-03T04:08:57.512-06:00Comments on Learning through Living: Intense childStephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02652491287049439814noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32534903.post-62678189986755929092008-01-08T18:23:00.000-06:002008-01-08T18:23:00.000-06:00All 4 of our kids are INTENSE all in their own way...All 4 of our kids are INTENSE all in their own ways. Because I am with them 24/7, I know where they are in their state of mind and can pretty much tell how they will act and what kind of day they will have (most of the time anyway.) If they are run down or close to it, I reduce outside activities with others and they understand the reasoning for such decision. Nowaday, they don't question and just relax and recoup...so looking forward to being out again and appreciating such thoughts. Many so-called behavior issues are relating to neurual responses and brain function/process. Many things are not as black-n-white in the traditional sense adults often want to analyze and compartmentalize. This is what dh is specialized in. People often judge a child as mean because he/she yells, hits, throws...it is a reflection of common one-size-fit-all social standard and comes expectation. Stephanie, you are a very wise woman and loves your children enough to know when to say no and when to say I need a break away from. It's perfectly okay to have those feelings. I tell my friends that we need to be selfish (boy, is this difficult for a mother to do!). We need to put us first above all things of course except GOD. If we are not happy, your kids will know and feel and sense it without you saying a word. As trite as it may sound, your kids are happy when you are happy. So, is Jared making another turn on a spiral in his staircase? Picture a spiral staircase...you'll know what I mean. I love reading your musings as it ignites ponderings of my own life and the ones I so adore! Oooooh, I wish you live next door too! Wouldn't that be just wonderful!<BR/><BR/>Blessings,<BR/>Sarah<BR/>www.fairystitch.blogspot.com (the other me)Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09918741782882170435noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32534903.post-75838045488319197092008-01-02T14:02:00.000-06:002008-01-02T14:02:00.000-06:00Thanks :)I just briefly checked out SPD and it's n...Thanks :)<BR/>I just briefly checked out SPD and it's not Jared, maybe a couple things could resemble him but heck it does me too.<BR/><BR/>I'm not big on labels either, he could be in the ADHD camp too but it really doesn't matter.<BR/><BR/>He is just Jared and I will keep looking for ways to help him, thank you for the thoughts. We just never know what may help so I appreciate all the responses :)Stephaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02652491287049439814noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32534903.post-63273397972337397472008-01-02T07:49:00.000-06:002008-01-02T07:49:00.000-06:00Hi again...been thinking about you and your little...Hi again...been thinking about you and your little dude. I'm not a big fan of "disorders" or labeling children (or anyone) with them, but we've recently been really looking into Sensory Processing Disorder with Feistygirl. Have you researched this route with Jared? Also, I'm in the midst of reading Raising Your Spirited Child, which is very school and rules-oriented (like how to get them to bed on time, etc.), but has some really great gems of wisdom that just pop out at me and actually do jive with the radical unschooling philosophy. Its very focused on helping your child to be successful, your child who is "MORE intense, sensitive, perceptive, persistent, energetic". Also very focused on looking at our own attitudes toward a child that much of the rest of the world perceives as difficult, which I know you already do. What do you think?Hilareehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08228234736195270443noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32534903.post-5487488548655485622008-01-02T07:12:00.000-06:002008-01-02T07:12:00.000-06:00Hi Stephanie,You kind of know me through RCU and y...Hi Stephanie,<BR/><BR/>You kind of know me through RCU and you know that my life isn't a bed of roses, but I have had some success with my now 7yo DS. He's been a handful, let me tell you, and like you say, it's hard when other people judge him harshly and show so little grace. I also do a lot of connecting, cuddling, eye to eye contact, calm talking, deep breathing together etc when he's having a meltdown, and I obviously try to keep an eye on when he's bored or feeling rejected/left-out etc (both real triggers for an explosion). All I can say is that he's a VERY different child now, than a couple of years ago. We have a beautiful connection now; he's affectionate, loves to hold my hand when we walk, or snuggle on the lounge. These are things that NEVER happened even a year ago!! I think that your approach to life, parenting, etc is a gift to him. Hang in there!<BR/><BR/>KarenAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32534903.post-15464022937111154972008-01-01T22:27:00.000-06:002008-01-01T22:27:00.000-06:00Thanks ladies :)Jared is 5 1/2Thanks ladies :)<BR/>Jared is 5 1/2Stephaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02652491287049439814noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32534903.post-81960142152033612322008-01-01T20:39:00.000-06:002008-01-01T20:39:00.000-06:00Hi Stephanie! My Feistygirl, age 3, is so incredi...Hi Stephanie! My Feistygirl, age 3, is so incredibly intense she may implode at any second. As of right now, I have no advice for you...because you've been dealing with an intense child much longer than I have! Also...I'm sleepy. Let me think a little bit and get back to you. One comment right now is that I think its so important to continue to value our children for EXACTLY how God made them. The question is, how do we help them EXIST in this world? How do we help them shape their absolute gift of intensity into ways that not only help them cope but use their gift to bless others? Whoo...it's a big question, and a big responsibility. As a mother of an intense child, believe me, I know. I'll keep thinking and comment again. :)Hilareehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08228234736195270443noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32534903.post-51224178233400535902008-01-01T18:53:00.000-06:002008-01-01T18:53:00.000-06:00How old is Jared? I know it really does change as...How old is Jared? I know it really does change as they get older.<BR/><BR/>I remember my son saying to a friend who was having a hard time with her son "just let him live until he's 11, it will get better" *g*<BR/><BR/>We still have some pretty intense times with our youngest, she's 10. The calmer I can stay the better things go. We talk about breathing a LOT. About how getting oxygen into our bodies is a good thing. :)kellihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00140450548487566657noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32534903.post-20139481133888965202007-12-31T11:41:00.000-06:002007-12-31T11:41:00.000-06:00I have no advice. Just letting you know I read an...I have no advice. Just letting you know I read and care.<BR/>TinaTinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08312416207958944255noreply@blogger.com