Saturday, May 31, 2008

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Left the building

I have been wondering where that clean freak who used to vacuum everyday went.

My house is a mess, I have been out for four days and sick for two weeks, just folded several loads of laundry. The kids did the dishes while I was sick.

The dogs are shedding, stuff is piled up and the kids are strewing their own paths.

My point is I guess I don't really care, so that compulsive cleaner has left the building.

I guess I'll get a maid, maybe a butler. Tonight after dinner I was sitting at the table and I started calling, "Jeeves, oh Jeeves where are you darling."

Told you I'm gone...

Can you say freak?

I am recovering from being sick and the last 4 days we have been busy.

I'm really tired it's like my body aches and my energy level is low.

Since I didn't have anywhere to be today I stayed in bed until almost 2:00 pm.

I got up a little before noon but went back to bed, I fell asleep and had some vivid, wild, dramatic even violent dreams. I woke up exhausted and swirled in a fog all day.

I layed down after dinner and almost fell asleep.

Sleeping makes me tired and dreaming exhausts me.

Try to figure that out.

I am so NOT right!

It's after midnight now and I feel pretty good, go figure...

Little tidbit part two

Since Amanda asked I thought I would elaborate.

I did it!!!

I broke the plate, oh sorry I had a Veggie Tale flashback.

I had my phone in my pocket and I went to the bathroom and as I pulled up my shorts my phone fell out of my pocket and, and, and...

yep you guessed it,

it fell into the toilet.

Jason doesn't think the warranty covers that.

At least my old phone still works, we put the SIM card in it and need to send my other phone in.

Sucks for sure!

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Little tidbit

Cell phones and water don't mix...

Fish out of water

Do you ever feel totally out of place in a group setting?

Anyone who knows me knows that I'm not one who tries to fit in, I am a non-conformist and always have been. It's a big thing that Jason and I have in common, we are glad we don't *fit in* BUT... we must get along with those that we have nothing in common with.

Must we?

We just spent several hours with people that we have nothing in common with, we are so different and it shows. I am just not into the little clique's, I never was, this is why I really don't like women. No offense! I have come to really value and appreciate many of you I have met online and I have about 2 real life friends. It's just easier to hang with the guys...

I don't even know how much to say lest I be found out, I mean people show up here by google searches everyday. Oh well...

We were at a friend's house with their friends from church, all homeSCHOOLERS. I am very disturbed by parenting practices that demand respect but don't give any. One phrase I heard after minutes of walking in the door was a child saying, "I know" and the mother saying, "It's not I know, it's yes ma'am." Ouch, I know this is the south but I don't agree with this and I actually have seen these people treat their children less than more than once.

I tried to get along, I kept sitting next to them I even interjected a comment here and there but they weren't really talking to me anyway.

I really don't know what they think about me or what my friend has told them. I'm sure she speaks kindly of us.

Jared did have a couple loudbursts and he had reason to. One was an accident involving a hockey puck and his brother. The other one was soon before we left, several were playing a game and there were two teams, Jared was on the team he wanted to be on and then someone wanted to trade and wanted him to trade. He didn't want to, he came storming into the house and yelling it made no sense, he wants to be on this team and if he can't be then he quits.

I took him outside and tried to find out what was going on and calm him down, but he was really upset. Jason came out and carried him and talked with him and walked with him and he finally calmed down. It was so stupid I'm sick of others making up rules with no regard of how they play out in reality.

Jason was playing with them the night before, it was a friend's birthday and they had them over. Jason wasn't doing anything wrong, just walking around stretching his back but he was supposed to be in jail and it was against the rules to walk around, he said, "I don't follow the rules very well." LOL!!! This is my husband speaking to other adults for crying out loud, it's a freakin game already.


We came home and had lots to talk about and I haven't even scratched the surface of our issues. We have decided that next time we are invited to a thing with the same people that we will be busy.

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Girl time

Cassie needs me to take her shopping without Jared. Jared goes everywhere with me because he is still attached at the hip.

I can't remember the last time I went anywhere without a child, which is fine for the most part, where would I go?

So today Jason took him fishing and I took Cass shopping, she needed a bathing suit.

I also needed an outfit, my dad sent me $100 for my birthday. I don't know about you but I almost never actually spend my birthday money on me.


Usually the kids need something and I just wait for what I need.

We went to 5 stores today and I got a few outfits at Ross, I spent $48 on myself, woo hoo.

Cass got her suit and some shoes and Brenny's birthday is next week so I got him a couple things.

I don't get it

How much is environment and how much is genetics and personality?

My kids are living in a completely different environment with completely different parenting yet... They are little versions of us, aren't they? They can tend to emulate the not so wonderful traits.

I'm not just talking behaviour even though Jared displays a ton of hostile, explosive, mean outburts even though we do not treat him like that.

He just had an episode, I usually try to buffer things but I was in the tub when this one happened. I hate it when it escalates and it could have been avoided had I been there. I keep seeing him improve then backslide. Lately it has been really rough with him. I remain calm and I talk to him even though he is yelling, it's not easy for sure. If I treated him the way he treats us it would be called abusive. He processes everything differently, he always has. I have learned so much about parenting from this child's perspective, I'm not perfect but I have really come a long way. It's hard because when he acts out it disrupts the household and I feel responsible and I try to fix it but in reality I can't control it. I can just be here and help him and buffer everyone else as much as possible.

Damnit maybe I'll just make them go to bed! HAHA! Kidding, I'm not one of those parents who thinks that kids are convenient little trophies that we put away whenever we want.

What about general feelings, physical and emotional. Cassie and Brenny continually exhibit symptoms of being my child. I mean the not sleeping, headaches, freaking out about just plain not feeling well.

My daughter is straight and hard headed and stubborn and sometimes mean, well... she is my kid. Don't forget control freak, you should see us try to shop or cook together, we are both trying to be in contriol, it's rather comical when I look at it for what it really is.

I am doing my best not to act like that but my point is it's in her blood. I have done so much to try and change myself but I realize now that I am ME and that is that. I'll say things to Jay like why does she have to take that tone and sound so mean? He told me she comes by it naturally... YIKES!

Even though I think I am being nice apparently I don't have the nice tone, LOL!

I am not some meanie, really I'm just Me, take it or leave it I guess I don't really care.

Now I wonder where she gets that from?

Saturday, May 24, 2008


I just kissed my husband and thanked him for not being a schmuk.

I am so sorry to all of my cyber pals who are dealing with tough marriages and difficult men.

Thank you Jason you are awesome, you rock babe!!!!!!!

Unconscious Mutterings

  1. Referral :: job
  2. Indiana :: Jones
  3. Foil :: Aluminum
  4. Horizon :: Organic
  5. Event :: My life
  6. Sailing :: Sea sickness
  7. Footage :: raw
  8. Sunday :: new week
  9. Breathtaking :: beautiful sunsets
  10. Dude! :: Righteous!
Get your words Luna Nina


School is out here and as I was driving to the store I passed the elementary school and today was 5th grade graduation.

Why are there so many *graduations* I mean high school and college is all there used to be. Now we have Kindergarten graduation for crying out loud, WTF?

They are just continuing to dumb down the kids, level the field, everyone has to be the same.

Two years ago we participated in the soccer league here, it's completely different than what we were accustomed to in PA. Anyway every kid gets a trophy at the end of the season, even if they didn't show up half the time.
What is the purpose of that?

In the past my boys earned trophies and medals and now they just give them to everyone. It's like nobody is recognized for their talents but everyone is rewarded for nothing.

It's like Bob Parr says in The Incredibles:

"They keep creating new ways to celebrate mediocrity."

Another one:

Helen Parr : "Everyone's special, Dash."

Dash: "Which is another way of saying no one is."

The Dumbing Down of America continues...

Friday, May 23, 2008


At the bottom of the page you will see this paragraph"Contest is open only to legal US residents, over the age of 18 with children in either elementary, private or parochial schools that serve grades PreK-6. No home schools will be accepted."

Thursday, May 22, 2008


Last week Jared was busily working on something that he didn't want me to see and he didn't want any help. He messed up several times and was quite upset, he kept going into the bathroom with paper and scissors. He apparently got it right because on my birthday he called to me and proceeded to pull something out from under my bed. Considering that I felt horrible on my birthday this brought tears to my eyes because I know how hard he worked on cutting it out.

Here are my boys on Mother's Day, it was unseasonably cold, Cassie didn't want her picture taken.

This is Brenny and Jared with Boomer and Petie.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008


While I'm getting over that nasty virus now my allergies are full blown and I'm so dizzy.

I don't know how much writing I'll be doing, I want to reply to some emails and blog but I don't know what I'll do.

Thanks to all who sent prayers, well wishes and virtual goodies!

nice thought

There is a friendly older gentleman that works in the organic department at Kroger, he always greets us nicely.

Today he asked if if school was almost out, I told him that we homeschooled, he said oh that's right...

*So you get to go out and about whenever you want then*

Yep that pretty much sums it up.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Unconscious Mutterings

    This is last weeks, apparently I was too unconscious to think...

  1. Concentration :: Cards

  2. Relocated :: Witness Protection Program

  3. Clot :: Blood

  4. Joints :: Smoke em if you got em

  5. Satellite :: Dish

  6. Money back :: Guarantee

  7. Kittens :: meow

  8. Shady :: venture

  9. Drain :: sink

  10. Stroke :: heat

Luna Nina

Thursday, May 15, 2008


Any CSI fans?

I was blown away by the pun intended.

Although I was always suspicious of the undersheriff.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

May 15th Deadline

One more day to sign up for the Revolution Money Exchange promotion.

Just click on the icon at the top right corner of the page and it will take you to the website.

I'm all for competition and this is another company like Paypal.

It is real, I got my $25 and I just received $10 for one referral. Thank you to whoever took the plunge and signed up.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008


The mere fact that I'm living isn't proof that I was born.

She says as she finds her birth certificate to get her driver's license.

No worries mate

Hakuna Matata!
What a wonderful phrase
Hakuna Matata!
Ain't no passing craze
It means no worries for the rest of your days
It's our problem-free philosophy
Hakuna Matata!

Jared was watching Timon and Pumba and I realized that I really need to embrace this attitude.

I'm sick of expecting things that don't come to fruition.
I'm sick of stress.
I'm sick of worrying.

Actually I'm sick...

Caught something and had a rough day.

So new attitude, one of hope and positive thinking...

Well I can try, again!

It sucks to be such a realist, I just need to deal without worry or expectation.

It is what it is and I have to accept it and move on.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Today's word

I get the word of the day, surprised? My husband gets a kick out of it because I always use *big* words and my kids speak that way too.

So here is today's word:

Merriam-Webster’sWord of the Day
May 12



1 : a person who destroys religious images or opposes their veneration

*2 : a person who attacks settled beliefs or institutions

OOOHHHLALA I may just be an iconoclast!!!

Break down those walls!

Get out of that box!


Life is great, unschooling is awesome, let's all be who we are and enjoy the journey.

Live, laugh, love, learn and always Rock on!!!

Everyday is Mother's Day

It is for me anyway...

I know that everyday I am blessed because I am a mother, because I have children.

If you would have told me 17 years ago that I would have 4 kids I would've asked you what kind of drugs you were taking.

I spent most of my young life taking care of other people's kids and two of those were my siblings. I was already a *mother* and needed a break. I also was very career oriented and I didn't think a family would fit in.

I wanted my Hotel and I had my goals and expectations and plans set, there wasn't going to be kids. I knew that one career was it I could not give my all to both.

I also had endometriosis and didn't think I could have babies. I begged for a hysterectomy but they don't routinely do that to 19 yr olds.

So after I went to college awhile I changed my mind and I had to have a baby.
No easy task but what in my life has been easy????

So after drug induced menopause twice and fertility drugs I have four beautiful babies.

I am blessed and anyone who has a child is blessed, children are awesome.

Embrace the journey, embrace those children, they grow up way too fast.

Motherhood rocks!

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Parenting Peacefully

If you want to live peacefully make the most peaceful choices.

Peace is all about choices.

Choose to breathe consciously.
Choose understanding over ignorance.
Choose to make choices.
Choose awareness over oblivion.
Make choices based on the principles you live by.

~Sandra Dodd

Unconscious Mutterings

  1. Track :: race

  2. Snake :: slimy, slithering, hissing, striking, poison, gives me the willies

  3. Assignment :: on assignment, like a job

  4. Blockbuster :: video

  5. Bombastic :: wow that's awesome

  6. Adventure :: our life

  7. First time :: sex
  8. Aged :: cheese

  9. Grip :: Get a grip

  10. Shortcut :: backroads

  11. Want to play? get your words at Luna Nina

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Growing Ups

You know how we call adults *grown ups*

Jared calls them *growing ups*

I think he is very perceptive.

I don't think that one day you are just a grown up, I mean we are always learning and growing. I believe if you stop growing you stop living even if you are alive.

Here's to all of the growing ups reading this :)

Reali-T check

What is real?

What really matters?

Life is short and childhood is even shorter.

The kids are great, unschooling rocks, they learn like they breathe, it's so natural. If you haven't experienced this then you have no idea what I'm talking about.

Kids who have never been schooled just learn by doing, they learn by living.

It's their mother who has issues...

Really I'm fine, I'm good, I'm starting another hormonal episode... When flo doesn't show you just move on, I moved on I was fine...until... I lost it, I cried I broke down and cried last night. It's not really in my character, you know the one I play on TV.

I'm Miss strong, Miss reality, I'm such a realist, it is what it is so get over it already. Seriously I am like that so don't expect a whole lot of sympathy from me. Nobody gives me any either, actually some of this is personality but it also stems from my past when nobody gave a shit.

So Miss hot flash, mood swing, what is wrong with my body, what are you gonna do about it???

Who knows, I've got too many thoughts, too many causes, too many soapboxes, too much email, too many blogs, too many lists...

I also have absolutely no point to this post, what do you want I think I'm pre- menstrual again but who the hell knows?

I'll just keep learning from my kids, playing with my kids and living each day the best I can.

Thursday, May 08, 2008

What has she been thinking about?

In case anyone wonders why I've been quiet it's because my mind is thinking and contemplating and I'm having a hard time writing it down.

Some of these thoughts are old ones resurfaced, some are new, some are raw, but I have to feel what I feel in order to figure stuff out.

A few things on my mind lately are homeschooling, unschooling, secular, Christian, what's the difference, spanking(NOT) but why do people do that, what would Jesus really do, my faith, my beliefs, my principles, this country, politics and of course the damaging effects of public school.

I'm not sure what I'll touch on in this post I guess I'll go where my mind takes me. I'll probably go take a bath and come back and finish this.

A few days ago I was really thinking about unschooling as secular or Christian because many people will use that distinction, so I was thinking about what the REAL difference is. In my mind I believe that Christians base their life on faith, well so do I, but I am not a Christian unschooler and I don't homeschool for religious reasons. I just happen to be a Christian and an unschooler it's how I live, it's not even a defined thing except online. Some people call it *secular unschooling* and *Christian unschooling* I just don't do that, unschooling is unschooling, many different people with many different beliefs unschool.

There are many more faiths and religions out there that unschool so secular or Christian doesn't begin to define it.

I'm not trying to define anything I really don't like many labels, some serve a purpose especially when we are looking for people who think like we do or at least have an idea of where we are coming from. The only problem with that is stereotypes, I hate stereotypes but when you meet people who make them true it can be frustrating. It can make you not want to associate yourself with a certain label or group because of what others believe about them whether it's true or not.

I run a yahoo group of unschooling Christians, so I know they are out there.
When I talk to people who aren't Christian and hear some experiences they have had with Christians it makes me want to scream. Spanking and control are big issues, I do not believe in spanking. As a matter of fact I firmly believe that hitting is wrong and unacceptable and nobody has the right to hit someone else.

Children are smacked everyday and some are guised under Christian parental authority, that makes me ill, it makes me not want to be lumped in with those people. I may be losing some readers here but it's how I feel it's how I have always felt.

If an adult hits an adult they can press charges but if a child is hit they have to take it...

I wasn't spanked as a child but I was beat up as a teen and mentally , emotionally and verbally abused.

I am a believer in God and Jesus, I love the Lord I pray daily I have faith and I will just live on that faith. I will not live by religious indoctrination and I will not take any man's interpretation of the Bible as gospel. God knows my heart and he loves me because he created me. I am free to be ME, Christ has set me free.

My kids are free, we live and learn without rules and punishment but with respect and faith.

Sunday, May 04, 2008


This is from the Always Unschooled yahoo group.

Radical unschooling is Not about Raising kids. Its about living with our children Right Now. Our children are not unfinished products, future activists or stooges to The Man, our kids are Who They Are right now.

That's where unschooling happens.

If you are thinking in terms of Raising your children you aren't looking at the human beings living in your home, you are looking at future adults - and those are pure imagination on your part.

Is it possible to live with our kids Right Now *and* hold the whole world in our minds at the same time?

Yes. Its challenging, but its possible.


Saturday, May 03, 2008

Six words

1. Write the title to your own memoir using 6 words.
2. Post it on your blog.
3. Link to the person that tagged you.
4. Tag five more blogs.

Jewls tagged me and the idea is to come up with 6 words that describe you right now.

It's hard to come up with just one, I have had a few good ones and some I can't post :)

Free to be who I am

I'll give you one more:

Living in a freakin hormonal whirlwind

Share six words that describe you.


Any else want to participate I won't tag all of you :)

Unconscious Mutterings

  1. State :: of being

  2. Lively :: happy

  3. Valet :: parking

  4. Traction :: tires

  5. Official :: investigation

  6. Red hot :: chili peppers (the band)

  7. Powder :: baby

  8. Replies :: email

  9. Flagrant :: abuse of power

  10. Tweet :: rockin Robin

Want to play? Get your words Luna Nina

Thursday, May 01, 2008

Kids talking

Tonight Cassie told me that the girls down the street don't want her to tell me stuff.

They are 7 years old and already keep secrets from their parents.

I am so thankful that Cass talks to me, she tells me things, asks me things whatever it is she knows it's alright to talk to me.

I am trying so hard to build the foundation so when she is a teen we will already have the communication open.

I just hugged her and thanked her for telling me. She knows I'm not like her friends parents, this way of parenting is so worth the effort.